Empowering Bytes: Don't Wear the Wound
The central theme of this podcast episode revolves around the poignant assertion that one ought not to become defined by their circumstances. As we navigate the challenges of life, it is imperative to maintain a distinction between our identity and the challenges we encounter, thereby fostering resilience and empowerment.
In this discussion, Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson and Gaby Mammone reflect on the significance of recognizing that our experiences, whether they be trials or tribulations, do not encapsulate our essence. They emphasize that individuals are far more than their struggles, urging listeners to embrace an identity that transcends external conditions.
This episode serves as a call to introspection, encouraging the audience to cultivate a self-concept that is rooted in intrinsic worth rather than situational adversity.
Takeaways:
- Empowerment involves recognizing that your circumstances do not define your identity or worth.
- It is essential to separate your identity from the challenges you face in life.
- Our values and potential are internal attributes that remain unchanged despite external circumstances.
- We must strive to observe and understand our experiences without allowing them to dictate our self-perception.
- Acknowledging challenges is important, but absorbing them into our identity can be detrimental.
- To cultivate a positive self-identity, one should focus on personal growth beyond their current circumstances.
Have an empowering story to share on an Empowering Bytes episode? Submit your request, for a chance to be a guest.
Find us online: https://linktr.ee/nkechinwaforrobinson
Transcript
Great day, amazing human.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Welcome to Empowered at My Skin podcast where our mission is to help 1 billion people in this world think in more empowering ways.
Speaker A:Empowered humans empower humans.
Speaker A:So you are in the right place to become a lead domino for Empowerment today.
Speaker A:My name is Nkechi Mwaho Robinson.
Speaker A:I'm not only your host, but I am a vibrant optimist obsessed to bring you empowering content with every single episode.
Speaker A:We will bring you weekly content, alternating between longer episodes with featured guests and a shorter episode called Empowering Bites, where I'll be joined by my co host, Gabby Memone.
Speaker A:So if you're ready, let the show begin.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Great day, amazing humans.
Speaker A:Welcome to the next episode of Empowering Bites.
Speaker A:And I am joined by the marvelous, the scrumptious, the effervescent, the miraculous, the kindness queen, the 444 protection.
Speaker A:You are heavenly, divine and wonderfully made and perfected in all things awesome.
Speaker A:Gabriella.
Speaker B:Now that is an opening.
Speaker B:I would love for you to introduce me when I am speaking next.
Speaker B:Oh, girl, that was awesome.
Speaker B:I was awesome.
Speaker B:Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker A:And I'm going to.
Speaker A:I'm going to let the listeners and the viewers know that you are going to see us in the same outfit a couple of times because we are batching episodes today.
Speaker A:Because that's how we get it done.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And we can't.
Speaker A:She's outside, I'm inside.
Speaker A:And so we're batching episodes today and I am not going to go and change.
Speaker A:I don't have that kind of capacity today.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:And I have a couple of bees around me, so sorry.
Speaker B:If you see me fly, sweat.
Speaker A:She doesn't even have another shirt.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Like, she's out in the wilderness and she's thugging it with the bees.
Speaker A:I am.
Speaker A:One shirt.
Speaker A:One shirt.
Speaker A:So it'd be odd if I go and change.
Speaker A:If she can't change, they'd be like, what?
Speaker A:The co host doesn't.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Anyway, so I think I did the last intro of the episode that we were doing.
Speaker A:So you want to let the.
Speaker A:You want to let the amazing humans know what we're talking about today?
Speaker B:Oh, I would love to let them know.
Speaker B:So think about what you're going through.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:Think about what you're going through in your life.
Speaker B:We're just halfway through the year now.
Speaker B:Just halfway through the year.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:And sometimes people can be defined by what they're going through or what their circumstances.
Speaker B:So today's topic is don't become what you're going through.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker B:Do not become what you are going through.
Speaker A:Separate the two.
Speaker B:Let's talk about it.
Speaker A:So I'm going to start.
Speaker A:I'm going to start with something that you kind of mentioned, the B roll, because I absolutely love it.
Speaker A:So when I'm interviewing somebody, and I think that's why I also start the guest episode with, what's your most empowering thought that you've had of the day so far?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like something to like, connect them with self in.
Speaker A:Maybe I need to start to introduce that into my interviews.
Speaker A:But, but typically I start an interview and I say, you know, we.
Speaker A:I've read your.
Speaker A:I even give them now.
Speaker A:I give them context.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like, I've read your.
Speaker A:I've read your bio.
Speaker A:I've.
Speaker A:We've researched you on LinkedIn.
Speaker A:We read all your credentials.
Speaker A:What I wanted you to talk to me about is tell me about what we get when we get you.
Speaker A:Like, who are you?
Speaker A:You know?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And still they start going through their credentials.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker A:And it's so funny because my team and I now have a chat because I, I've, I've.
Speaker A:Because they were like, why do you.
Speaker A:Do I.
Speaker A:Because I have to even explain to the amazing humans I worked with, like, why do I do that?
Speaker A:And I said, because so many people start with the doing and not the beam.
Speaker A:And, and I said that anytime somebody asks you to introduce yourself, you should be talking about the bean.
Speaker A:When they say, what do you do?
Speaker A:Then you can talk about what you're paid for, you know.
Speaker A:Sure.
Speaker A:And, and it's in the beam that we can articulate what we're made for.
Speaker A:So I want to start with that.
Speaker A:Like, I think that that's kind of.
Speaker A:You're not, you're not your.
Speaker A:Whatever you're going.
Speaker A:Whatever you are going through in the sense of.
Speaker A:We'll talk about in two fronts.
Speaker A:Like, the work that you do, that's not who you are, that's not your identity.
Speaker A:You know, it's not stuck in.
Speaker A:It's not stuck in that.
Speaker A:You know, and, and, but more so, I think the essence of, of this theme is also about if you're going through a difficult season in life, like, it could be whatever, like a separation, it could be job loss, it could be an illness.
Speaker A:It could be.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Like, don't become what you're going through.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like, and you know when you do, like, you know, when you're walking around like you're a divorce, you know, you know, when you walking around like you are the flu.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:You know.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:But what have you stayed Very much.
Speaker A:Like, I often say it.
Speaker A:Like, I think we've talked about that in an episode long time ago, so I'm entitled to say it again today.
Speaker A:But whatever follows, I am, you become.
Speaker A:And so if you say, I am tired, which listeners.
Speaker A:I don't know when you're listening to this today, but it's quite possible that somebody asks you how you're doing, and you're like, oh, I'm tired.
Speaker A:And when you think about, like, you say I'm tired, does it ever really elicit, like, extreme happiness and joy and excitement and, you know, fundamental, like, blazing energy in other people or do suddenly or just suddenly people join you in the.
Speaker A:Oh, yeah, I know.
Speaker A:I'm tired too.
Speaker A:And it's like you slump into it.
Speaker A:You don't rise into I'm tired, you slump into I'm tired.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And so whatever you say after I am, you become.
Speaker A:So you can, you can, you can just.
Speaker A:Even if you are feeling tired, you can say, you know, I am an amazing human and I need more rest.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:And the, the activity is getting yourself more rest.
Speaker A:You are more likely to get more rest than if you walk through your day.
Speaker A:I am tired, I'm tired, I'm tired.
Speaker A:But if you say, I need more rest, then subconsciously you start to think about, okay, I need to schedule some rest today.
Speaker A:And it could be in the form of a nap, it could be an early bedtime, but, you know, but it's.
Speaker A:At least you didn't walk through the day feeling tired.
Speaker B:You're absolutely right.
Speaker B:Because circumstances are conditions.
Speaker B:They're temporary, they're external.
Speaker B:But you, your values, your potential, your kindness, your voice, that's internal, that's unshakable if you let it be that way.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:And you could talk about it because you have, even with your situ.
Speaker A:Your condition about Ms. Yeah, for sure.
Speaker A:You know, have you met people on your journey who.
Speaker A:And I, and I say this respectfully, but were Ms.
Speaker A:Versus somebody that was experiencing Ms.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:In fact, Montel Williams has Ms. And he has a really powerful quote.
Speaker B:And his quote is, I may have ms, but Ms.
Speaker B:Does not have me.
Speaker B:And it's so powerful because we can relate that to anything.
Speaker B:You know, you are not your circumstance.
Speaker B:You're not your bank account, you're not your job title, not your trauma.
Speaker B:You're not your diagnosis, you're not your mistakes, and you're not your environment.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Like we just said, circumstances are conditions.
Speaker B:They're temporary, they're external.
Speaker B:Now, in my situation, I have multiple sclerosis.
Speaker B:That's not temporary.
Speaker B:There is no cure.
Speaker B:I will.
Speaker B:I. I live with it.
Speaker B:I shouldn't say we'll have it forever.
Speaker B:Who knows what the future will hold?
Speaker B:But my point here is that the circumstances do not describe our situation.
Speaker B:It's not our identity.
Speaker B:And, and you know, that's such a powerful, powerful statement.
Speaker B:If we can really, truly embody what is our identity.
Speaker B:It's not what we've just mentioned.
Speaker B:Disability and trauma and circumstances.
Speaker A:And the other thing I would say is, and why.
Speaker A:I think it's also important if you start to think about it.
Speaker A:Insecure.
Speaker A:You're insecure.
Speaker A:Like, if ever you feel insecure.
Speaker A:And I know this, right, because I'm going through something.
Speaker A:And so I can honestly ask myself, okay, in the moments where I'm feeling a little bit of insecurity, a little bit of, like, just unsure of myself, it's.
Speaker A:In that moment, I bet you there's something that I'm thinking about that my identity is secured to.
Speaker A:And so if your identity is secured to something that's insecure, then guess what happens?
Speaker A:You become insecure, right?
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:And so.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And you could feel like if you start to really wrap your head around that and you start to walk through your day, like in those moments of insecurity, just pause and saying, right now what am I feeling?
Speaker A:Like it could be I'm feeling like the email I just received from a co worker that, you know, triggered me or something like that.
Speaker A:Like, you could be feeling triggered.
Speaker A:Okay, what triggered you?
Speaker A:I got triggered because of X.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Where's your identity?
Speaker A:Like, what is it about X that triggered you?
Speaker A:Because.
Speaker A:Because that is what.
Speaker A:That your identity in that moment is.
Speaker A:Is locked in, is.
Speaker A:Is intertwined with debt.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And there might be an opportunity to do some type of release work.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:You know, I. I would really ask the listeners and the people that are watching, when you take a look at what you're going through, you know, do you wake up each day believing that you're stuck because of maybe where you came from or what you've been through or where you are right now?
Speaker B:And here is the truth.
Speaker B:The circumstances that you're in are describing your actual situation, not your identity.
Speaker B:Okay, let me say that again.
Speaker B:Your circumstances describe your situation, not your identity.
Speaker B:And so it's important that we don't feel lost, but rather take advantage of the lessons, take advantage of whatever we can do to be the author, not the setting.
Speaker B:You know what I mean by that?
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker B:Oh, I just made that up.
Speaker B:I like that.
Speaker B:Did I just Say that I love.
Speaker A:That you are essentially, you know, you're not what hurts you.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:You're not what left you.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:You're not what is upset with you.
Speaker A:You're not the delay.
Speaker A:You're not the diagnosis.
Speaker A:You're not the job loss.
Speaker A:You're not, you know, you are like, you're not what they did.
Speaker A:You are so much more than any of that, you know?
Speaker A:And so it's, it's really, really important to do the work to understand what your identity is tied to my identity, like for a long time.
Speaker A:And like, sometimes think about your story, like, what do you have on repeat as it relates to your, to your narrative?
Speaker A:I know that indices.
Speaker A:I'm in now.
Speaker A:You know, as I observe myself, I'm.
Speaker A:I'm seeing certain things that my identity is still.
Speaker A:Was.
Speaker A:Is still connected to.
Speaker A:And, And I'll tell you, like, in this moment, that's why I love the Untethered Soul, that book, because that is a release of identity.
Speaker A:You know, it is that opportunity to tether yourself from anything other than what I truly do believe is the biggest I am statement from that book, which I am the one who sees.
Speaker A:And so from in here somewhere, I am the one who looks out and I'm aware of the events, the circumstances and the experiences that are passing before me.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like when you can start to sit back and, and observe yourself going through whatever you're going through.
Speaker A:Guess what?
Speaker A:You've untethered yourself from that.
Speaker A:And it's almost like we've also had this conversation.
Speaker A:It's almost like feedback.
Speaker A:People become the feedback they receive.
Speaker A:And I, I often, you know, for myself and everyone, I'm like, feedback is, is.
Speaker A:It's only data.
Speaker A:And there's nothing about that data that says you must ingest it, that you must drink it, especially blindly.
Speaker A:So before you gulp back like, you know, like, like some data, like feedback from somebody, One, recognize that every human is flawed.
Speaker A:So you're receiving feedback from a flawed human.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And two, not every feedback needs to be received it ingested.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like, yeah, I think it could be.
Speaker A:I think examine it, explore it, be curious about it, ask questions about it.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like, like, like before.
Speaker A:And decide what you need in order to help you become more.
Speaker A:Because I do believe.
Speaker A:What is it that you always said?
Speaker A:Ideally, the.
Speaker A:The responsibility of a human is to leave another human in the space of increase.
Speaker B:Oh, yes, exactly.
Speaker B:That's what we have to do.
Speaker B:We have to leave people in a position of increase.
Speaker B:That is exactly what we need to do when we go through these transactions.
Speaker B:And so when you are going through something, and I remember when I was going through my diagnosis, here I am 21 years later, I still have it.
Speaker B:But what helped me is I acknowledged it.
Speaker B:I acknowledged it, but I didn't absorb it.
Speaker B:And I think the difference there is, it's what I was going through, but it's not who I am.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:And I think that's a difference when we.
Speaker B:When we take a look at our identity.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker B:You know, what, what, what would you share with someone to end this episode?
Speaker B:For someone that's struggling with maybe their identity or they're going through something, what advice would you give them?
Speaker A:Yeah, I mean, the title says it all.
Speaker A:Like, you aren't.
Speaker A:Like, if you could just take a step back, you aren't what you are going through.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And so, you know, if you can just sort of do, like, an exercise whereby you close your eyes and like, pull back from the situation and start to look at the situation from you looking out.
Speaker A:Right at the situation and then start to observe and then with you in the situation.
Speaker A:So observe how you're going through it, you know, and talk to that person.
Speaker A:Like, okay, what do you.
Speaker A:What.
Speaker A:Where are you feeling in your body right now?
Speaker A:You know what, like, what was it about that, like, try to.
Speaker A:Try to start to do that, Because I think everyone can do that in the presence of self, you know, it just.
Speaker A:It.
Speaker A:It just takes you trying experience it one time to actually see that it's possible.
Speaker A:Because you aren't.
Speaker A:You truly are not what you're going through.
Speaker A:You're not the hurt, you're not the pain.
Speaker A:You're not the.
Speaker A:You're not the divorce.
Speaker A:You're not the delay, not the denial.
Speaker A:You're not the rejection.
Speaker A:You're not even the happiness.
Speaker A:You're not the happiness of the joy.
Speaker A:Like, these are all feelings that you experience.
Speaker A:Experience, you know, but you are.
Speaker A:You are much more than that.
Speaker A:You are a wonderful human who deserves to observe the life that you are getting the opportunity to live in in the human flesh.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker B:So, yes, yes.
Speaker B:Ah, I loved this episode.
Speaker B:I really do.
Speaker B:To anyone that's listening, please, please, please, please ensure that you are not your circumstance.
Speaker A:Remember that storms may shape you, but they don't get to name you.
Speaker B:Yes, that's a mic drop.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:I love it.
Speaker A:So it is.
Speaker A:This is where we come to the end of this episode.
Speaker A:And this is where I say, I'm.
Speaker B:Ink and I'm Gabby with one B.
Speaker A:And we're out.
Speaker B:Bye.
Speaker B:Bye.
Speaker A:There you have it.
Speaker A:I trust that you are feeling more empowered in your skin.
Speaker A:As the late Dr. Maya Angelou said, when you get, you give.
Speaker A:When you learn, you teach.
Speaker A:So it would mean so much for us at Empower to My Skin, Inc.
Speaker A:If you share this episode and tag us or teach an insight that you took from today's episode on your social and tag us, feel free to leave us a review over at itunes and follow us on social media.
Speaker A:Power to My Skin.
Speaker A:Finally, remember to subscribe so you never miss an episode.
