Empowering Bytes: The Love Languages Unplugged
Let’s dive into the heart of love languages! Today, Nkechi and Gaby are breaking down the five love languages, which are all about how we express and receive love in our relationships. Whether it’s through words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, or physical touch, understanding these can totally transform how we connect with others.
Gaby kicks things off with a sweet personal story about her hubby surprising her with freshly squeezed orange juice—talk about a thoughtful act of service! They also share how recognizing each other’s love languages can open up meaningful conversations and strengthen bonds, making sure we’re all on the same page.
So grab a cozy drink, kick back, and let’s unlock the secrets of love together!
Takeaways:
- Nkechi and Gaby emphasize the importance of understanding and utilizing the five love languages to strengthen relationships in everyday life.
- Acts of service often mean doing thoughtful things for others without expecting anything in return, showcasing genuine care and love.
- Quality time is all about giving your undivided attention to someone, which can greatly enhance any relationship, even amidst our busy lives.
- Physical touch, like hugs or gentle gestures, can communicate love and reassurance, often providing comfort during stressful moments.
- Words of affirmation are crucial; a simple compliment can significantly uplift someone's spirits and make them feel appreciated.
Have an empowering story to share on an Empowering Bytes episode? Submit your request, for a chance to be a guest.
Find us online: https://linktr.ee/nkechinwaforrobinson
Transcript
Great day, amazing human.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Welcome to Empowered at my Skin podcast where our mission is to help 1 billion people in this world think in more empowering ways.
Speaker A:Empowered humans empower humans.
Speaker A:So you are in the right place to become a lead domino for Empowerment today.
Speaker A:My name is Nkechi Mwaho Robinson.
Speaker A:I'm not only your host, but I am a vibrant optimist obsessed to bring you empowering content with every single episode.
Speaker A:We will bring you weekly content, alternating between longer episodes with featured guests and a shorter episode called Empowering Bites where I will be joined by my co host, Gabby Memone.
Speaker A:So if you're ready, let the show begin.
Speaker A:Great day, amazing humans.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:Welcome to another episode of Empowering Bit.
Speaker A:And I am joined by the same human who has joined me.
Speaker A:I don't know, like 100 and almost 70 other times.
Speaker B:That's cool.
Speaker A:G to the A to the B to the y to the Maon.
Speaker A:Gabby.
Speaker A:1B.
Speaker A:Ma.
Speaker A:Ma.
Speaker A:I don't know which one to say today.
Speaker B:If you use your hands, it's easier.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:Yeah, it's easier.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:I guess, like, technically we're on episode 337 today.
Speaker A:I don't know if my math wasn't that great.
Speaker A:The math wasn't muffin, but it was like, what is that?
Speaker A:100?
Speaker A:No, 200.
Speaker A:And what is that?
Speaker A:No, it's 100.
Speaker A:And I might be right.
Speaker A:It was.
Speaker B:I think you're close.
Speaker A:68, nine.
Speaker A:So 1, 4, 3, 40 would have been 170.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And we're just shy of.
Speaker A:We're just three shy of 340.
Speaker A:So, like one.
Speaker B:Amazing.
Speaker A:Yeah, it was close.
Speaker B:I love it.
Speaker B:I love it.
Speaker B:And one of the other things that I love is that Empowering Bites is short.
Speaker B:It's short.
Speaker A:It is short.
Speaker B:Sweet.
Speaker B:Today we're going to try to keep it consistent with a sad theme.
Speaker B:We do have five things to share.
Speaker B:Five things.
Speaker B:But we're going to keep it short and succinct because we really want you to apply this to your life.
Speaker B:So I want to start it off by saying my husband surprised me many times over the last few months in the morning by bringing me a freshly squeezed orange juice.
Speaker B:Now, to some, maybe not a big deal, but to me it is.
Speaker B:It's my favorite drink and I don't like it in the blender.
Speaker B:I like the orange cut with a nice sharp knife from the fridge, a cold orange and truly squeeze the old fashioned way with the pulp and everything in a glass and a beautiful clear glass.
Speaker B:And that's what I love I didn't ask for it.
Speaker B:He didn't expect anything in return.
Speaker B:And for me, that was a really beautiful act of kindness, and I love that.
Speaker B:And so when you relate that to the love languages, that's an act of service.
Speaker B:And so that's what we're going to talk about today, the five love languages.
Speaker B:Love languages.
Speaker A:So to simplify it for.
Speaker A:Because I don't know how much.
Speaker A:I mean, Gary Chapman wrote the book, I don't even know how long ago.
Speaker A:It was one of those things that was recommended, you know, probably through a period of time where we were having challenges like learn your love languages.
Speaker A:And you're probably not.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:You're not fulfilling the person's love language.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:A lot of times you think you're doing, doing, doing for your.
Speaker A:Your significant other, only to find out that you are not doing something that's meaningful to them.
Speaker A:And so the love languages, I think, are a way to open up the dialogue to ask that question, like, how do you like to receive.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Love.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like what.
Speaker A:What does that look like to you?
Speaker A:So the first one is words of affirmation, which is using verbal expressions to affirm, uplift, communicate love, appreciation or.
Speaker A:Or encouragement.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker B:So I love that.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And I think we can all relate it.
Speaker B:So let's say you're in a relationship, for example, and let's say you've had a really tough week at work, and one day your partner says to you, I see how hard you've been working.
Speaker B:I'm proud of the way that you handle pressure.
Speaker B:That single sentence will make you, whoever they're speaking to, feel valued, feel seen, feel heard.
Speaker B:And emotionally, it fills you up.
Speaker B:So it's a beautiful, beautiful way.
Speaker B:The words of affirmation, I have to.
Speaker A:Say, because I know just having friends, they often say, yeah, my.
Speaker A:My significant other doesn't.
Speaker A:My partner doesn't compliment me.
Speaker A:I have to say, like.
Speaker A:Like, Eason's really good at giving compliments to me.
Speaker B:Oh.
Speaker B:Oh, good.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So he'll be like, oh, you look.
Speaker A:You look good, babes.
Speaker A:Whatever, you look.
Speaker A:You look really pretty or, wow, you look, you know, you know, and without fail, like, I would say that even on.
Speaker A:Even on days where I haven't really done it.
Speaker A:Like, even I think today, you know, you look good.
Speaker A:You're wearing my favorite color or something like that, you know, so, yeah, so that would be words of affirmation.
Speaker A:And I think it takes nothing.
Speaker A:It really does.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like to.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And by the way, I'm a big stickler that this is not just about romantic love.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:I'm a leader who.
Speaker A:I'm a title leader, but I'm a leader.
Speaker A:Forget not.
Speaker A:Sorry.
Speaker A:I am a title leader, but I don't mean a title leader, but I'm a leader who leads from a place of love.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:And so I do think that it's really easy to use any of these to love and.
Speaker A:And share love with the people that are under your care.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:I think that's absolutely beautiful.
Speaker B:And your children, too, like your friends.
Speaker A:It's very important.
Speaker B:Very.
Speaker A:Any relationship.
Speaker B:Every relationship.
Speaker B:Agreed.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Agreed.
Speaker B:Agreed.
Speaker A:So the second one is acts of service.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker A:Which is doing thoughtful or helpful.
Speaker A:Kind of what Gabby described.
Speaker A:Doing thoughtful or helpful things for another person and actions that ease their burden and show how much.
Speaker A:How much you care.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Oh.
Speaker B:I will always remember Linus.
Speaker B:When my father passed away right at the beginning of COVID My mom also had Covid.
Speaker B:We weren't allowed to see her.
Speaker B:I was not able to visit her.
Speaker B:I wasn't able to visit him.
Speaker B:And I was homeschooling.
Speaker B:My kids needed to be fed.
Speaker B:And I remember how difficult that whole time was.
Speaker B:And my friend Glynis, she didn't just call me and say, what do you need?
Speaker B:Or let me know if you need anything.
Speaker B:She rang my doorbell with milk, with waffles, with eggs, with so many things that I didn't have to bread, I didn't have to ask her for.
Speaker B:She just did it.
Speaker B:And let me tell you, that act of service.
Speaker B:I know that kind of goes into one of the other five love languages, but I'll tell you, this was such a thoughtful way that, yes, it was an act of service.
Speaker B:And it was more than just her saying, I'm here for you.
Speaker B:It was her actually making my life significantly easier during that time.
Speaker B:Glitus, I reached out to you.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And I think I had a thoughtful one.
Speaker A:The other day, I went to the mailbox.
Speaker A:This is probably two pickups ago.
Speaker A:And in it was a postcard.
Speaker A:And I.
Speaker A:And the message was from my really good friend Jennifer Gibbs.
Speaker A:And it was so random, and it was so thoughtful, and it just was a note to say, hey, thinking about you and just want you to know how wonderful.
Speaker A:So I think it was almost a mix of affirmations, words of affirmations, and an act of service, because it was very, very thoughtful.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And it just.
Speaker A:It just showed care.
Speaker A:It showed care.
Speaker B:Shout out to Jennifer Gibbs.
Speaker B:She's a beautiful human.
Speaker B:I know her.
Speaker B:She's awesome.
Speaker B:Beautiful.
Speaker B:Number three.
Speaker A:I have a great example for the next one actually, that literally is so close to this episode, but thoughtful tokens that symbolize love, appreciation or celebration.
Speaker A:Not about the price, but the intention.
Speaker A:And so yesterday, so there's a friend of mine whom we met up and we just realized, wow, we really enjoy each other's company.
Speaker A:And she was like, man, you know, we got to hang out a little bit more.
Speaker A:And so we plan, we right away booked our next sort of date and you know, the, hopefully the goal is that we can make it more regular.
Speaker A:And, and so yesterday I text her because I had been sharing with her something I've been, that has been weighing on me to get done and I just haven't had the mojo to get it done.
Speaker A:But I sent her a note and I said, I did it.
Speaker A:I got it done.
Speaker A:And the weight, the weight, the immediate weight and release that came from it just, I felt it in my body and I said, wow.
Speaker A:And she said, congratulations.
Speaker A:And then she said, what's your address?
Speaker A:And I'm learning not to ask why, you know, so I just said I.
Speaker A:And I actually told her that I'm learning not to ask why.
Speaker A:So here's my address.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And the next thing you know, I had a, like an A ping later on a notification that said Instacart deliveries on its way from, you know, l. And and it showed up that evening and it's so funny, I needed to have a nice wind down evening.
Speaker A:And it was a single candle, Right.
Speaker B:Beautiful.
Speaker A:Just so beautiful.
Speaker A:So, so simple and so thoughtful and so unexpected, you know?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And that's, and I don't mean to make a joke about it, but the service fees fees were probably more than the candle and she still did it like that.
Speaker A:Yeah, it was really.
Speaker B:No, that's beautiful.
Speaker A:Really, really, really thoughtful.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:If anyone didn't catch that.
Speaker B:Number three is receiving gifts.
Speaker A:Yeah, that seems what we just talked about.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:That's okay.
Speaker B:Number three is receiving gifts.
Speaker B:Let's go into number four, quality time.
Speaker A:So giving someone your full attention, undivided presence, meaningful conversations and shared moments.
Speaker A:And I know that's even in this day and age with everyone having a cell phone and keeping it.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And then, you know, you read so much, so much about leave your phone at home.
Speaker A:Like Simon Sinek says, go as far as leaving your phone at home, you know, if you're going out with the person, if you're going out with someone that you need like text to connect and then leave your phones at home.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like that's who you're going out with.
Speaker A:Go out with them or turn it up to keep it in your bag or keep it off the table, Right?
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, because turning it upside down on the table doesn't do much.
Speaker A:Keep it off the table.
Speaker B:You know, and this applies to all relationships, like we said, but even with children.
Speaker B:You know, when I think about my daughter, just a few days ago, I was working away on the laptop, and, you know, she's home from school, and there's only so many things that she can stimulate herself in the day without her saying, I'm bored.
Speaker B:You know?
Speaker B:And so she.
Speaker B:She came to me and she said, mommy, do you want to play?
Speaker B:And instinctively, I wanted to be so busy, because I was.
Speaker B:But you know what?
Speaker B:I just thought, I'm gonna say yes.
Speaker B:And I did.
Speaker B:I said yes.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:And you probably still had time to get everything else done, right?
Speaker A:One of the things I've learned from Jennifer Gibbs again is busy's not a scheduling problem.
Speaker A:Yeah, right.
Speaker A:Busy's not a scheduling problem.
Speaker A:We make time for the things that we want to do.
Speaker B:So I said yes.
Speaker B:I sat on the floor with her.
Speaker B:She picked her game.
Speaker B:We started picking her.
Speaker B:We started playing her game.
Speaker B:And I purposely left my phone, my desk, and I heard the notifications go off.
Speaker B:And she looked at me like, okay, go ahead.
Speaker B:And I'm like, it's okay, let's keep playing.
Speaker B:So I was like, okay, I can wait.
Speaker B:And, you know, that was pretty special.
Speaker B:And I know that meant a lot for her.
Speaker B:And she coined it as a term.
Speaker B:She now calls it diamond time.
Speaker B:So like, mommy, can we have diamond time?
Speaker B:That means just her and I, no phone, just playing.
Speaker B:And that's pretty cool.
Speaker A:And it has long lasting effects.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like, I think that's what we discount.
Speaker A:And I know I could definitely do better with that.
Speaker A:And then the last one, which I recognize, I do, because I know we talked about it earlier.
Speaker A:I think this one is also big and high up on.
Speaker A:On the list for me.
Speaker A:Yeah, we'll.
Speaker A:We'll share in a minute what our love languages are.
Speaker A:But so physical touch.
Speaker A:So non verbal expressions of love through physical closeness.
Speaker A:Like hugs, hand holding a pat on the back or snuggling.
Speaker A:And so yeah, I'm big.
Speaker A:I'm big on hugs.
Speaker A:Big.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:And yeah.
Speaker A:And like long ones, like handle my lap just in a moment where you're at a table or something like that means a lot to me, you know, and not.
Speaker A:Not rubbing it or anything.
Speaker A:Just.
Speaker A:Just that making that contact, contact, you know, on the lap and stuff like that, or putting your hand over my shoulder makes me feel really cared for.
Speaker B:I agree.
Speaker B:And it goes back to any kind of relationship.
Speaker B:Now, we do want to be careful.
Speaker B:Like, sometimes someone may not like physical touch, so you can always ask for permission.
Speaker B:You know, Can I give you a hug?
Speaker B:Because isn't there.
Speaker B:Don't quote me on this, but isn't there, like, studies that show hugs reduced the cortisol level?
Speaker B:And it's like 20 seconds, I think, like, it calms the nervous system.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:It eases anxiety and it calms the nervous system.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I actually have a story for you.
Speaker A:To go as long as two minutes or three minutes.
Speaker B:Is that right?
Speaker A:Hold a hug.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I have a story for you.
Speaker B:Recently, I was at an event.
Speaker B:I was standing on the side.
Speaker B:They were about to introduce the next speaker, maybe like, two minutes away.
Speaker B:And the speaker was close to me on the side.
Speaker B:And I looked at him, and he looked perplexed.
Speaker B:So I went to him and I said, is everything okay?
Speaker B:And he said, I'm having a panic attack.
Speaker B:So they were about to introduce him, and he just said that to me.
Speaker B:So I said, how can I help?
Speaker B:And he put his hands out.
Speaker B:I didn't.
Speaker B:He put his hands out.
Speaker B:So I grabbed his hands and I said, let's close our eyes and breathe deeply.
Speaker B:And then I started saying some affirmations.
Speaker B:And I said, think of the person in your life that you love the most.
Speaker B:Imagine them right here with you.
Speaker B:What would they say?
Speaker B:And so I was starting to give him some affirmations.
Speaker B:He started to squeeze my hands.
Speaker B:I think he was really feeling it.
Speaker B:We started to breathe deeply together.
Speaker B:And then I would say, a minute passed, he opened his eyes, and he was great.
Speaker B:And then they called his name, and he went on stage and did a great job.
Speaker B:And he did a great job.
Speaker B:He did a great job.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:But it just goes to show, that touch, that affirmation, that's all he needed.
Speaker B:Oh, that's all he needed.
Speaker A:So Acts of Service and Physical Touch are definitely mine.
Speaker A:And I think physical touch probably edges a bit higher.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:For me, it's words of Affirmation and Acts of Service.
Speaker B:Acts of Service is really high up there.
Speaker A:It's really high up there.
Speaker B:Oh, yes.
Speaker B:It's very high up there.
Speaker B:And Acts of Service is not expecting anything.
Speaker A:Well, this is another thing, too.
Speaker A:Nothing can be tied to it.
Speaker A:And it needs to be very intentional.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:No contracts.
Speaker B:I love this.
Speaker A:I love it, too.
Speaker A:I love it.
Speaker A:I love it.
Speaker A:I love it.
Speaker A:And so, to everyone that's listening, this is sadly where we have to say we're out.
Speaker A:Oh no.
Speaker A:Who are you?
Speaker B:Who are you?
Speaker A:This is where we say I'm Ink.
Speaker B:And I'm Gabby with one B.
Speaker A:And we're out.
Speaker A:Bye.
Speaker A:Bye.
Speaker A:There you have it.
Speaker A:I trust that you are feeling more empowered in your skin.
Speaker A:As the late Dr. Maya Angelou said, when you get, you give.
Speaker A:When you learn, you teach.
Speaker A:So it would mean so much for us at Empower to My Skin, Inc.
Speaker A:If you share this episode and tag us or teach an insight that you took from today's episode on your social Tag us.
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