Empowering Bytes: The Danger of Your Own Point of View
We often confuse our perspective with the truth, and that can really hold us back in life! In this episode, we're diving into the idea that our point of view can become a limiting shrine, stunting our growth and affecting our relationships, leadership, and even our spiritual journey. I’m here to share some thoughts on how we can break free from this cycle of idolatry of our own opinions. We’ll explore the importance of curiosity, humility, and the courage to ask, “What else could be true?” and how stepping outside our own viewpoints can lead to deeper understanding and connection with others.
Takeaways:
- Our perspectives can become so sacred that they limit our growth and relationships.
- Worshiping our own point of view can blind us to other valuable perspectives.
- To grow, we must challenge our perspectives and seek understanding from others.
- True empowerment comes from humility, curiosity, and the courage to expand our views.
- Idolatry of our perspective prevents us from seeing the bigger picture in life.
- Listening to learn rather than respond opens doors to deeper connections and insights.
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Transcript
Great day, amazing human.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Welcome to Empowered at My Skin podcast, where our mission is to help 1 billion people in this world think in more empowering ways.
Speaker A:Empowered humans empower humans.
Speaker A:So you are in the right place to become a lead domino for Empowerment today.
Speaker A:My name is Nkechi Mwaho Robinson.
Speaker A:I'm not only your host, but I am a vibrant optimist obsessed to bring you empowering content with every single episode.
Speaker A:We will bring you weekly content, alternating between longer episodes with featured guests and a shorter episode called Empowering Bites, where I will be joined by my co host, Gabby Memone.
Speaker A:So if you're ready, let the show begin.
Speaker A:Great day, amazing humans.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:And welcome to the next episode of Empowering Bites.
Speaker A:And yeah, I'm You.
Speaker A:You get this, right?
Speaker A:There isn't anybody else that's coming.
Speaker A:Guess what?
Speaker A:You have got me for this short, sweet, but thoughtful, insightful episode.
Speaker A:I actually am unlocking something that I heard really just this morning.
Speaker A:And so transparently, this is being recorded on December 3rd.
Speaker A:So I'm just letting you know.
Speaker A:This is like how early this is, but it really.
Speaker A:It shook me.
Speaker A:And it was.
Speaker A:I was taking in a. I was taking a pod, I guess it's a podcast episode called the Next Chapter by TD Jakes.
Speaker A:And he was interviewing Denzel Washington.
Speaker A:And they got to a point in the conversation on the podcast.
Speaker A:It was termed.
Speaker A:I guess the chapter is get out of your way.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And I love that because Denzel used that phrase a number of times throughout the interview.
Speaker A:And I think it was just really a testament to.
Speaker A:Or an observation in his life that his success has really come by him getting out of his own way.
Speaker A:And even just that there's a lesson for.
Speaker A:There's definitely something that.
Speaker A:That struck me hearing that so often with him as he recounted sort of his life and, and sharing his insights and point of views on.
Speaker A:On different topics.
Speaker A:And so I certainly can get out of my own way, but in this particular case.
Speaker A:They were talking about.
Speaker A:And now I'm.
Speaker A:I would have to go back.
Speaker A:This is how new it is, right?
Speaker A:I haven't even gone back to listen to it.
Speaker A:I just took notes and knew.
Speaker A:And in knowing that I needed to record a sole episode, I just put it to God.
Speaker A:I was like, God, what laid on my heart what I should come here and speak to the world about?
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And I think I got permission to unpack both of these in large part because I've had the opportunity to use it today as part of just some leadership.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Some difficult conversations that I've had that I had to have.
Speaker A:And I, and I really did leverage this and I shared it with another leader and they were like, oh, that was good.
Speaker A:And they were writing it down.
Speaker A:And so I was like, you know what?
Speaker A:I think that that is, that's, that's the confirmation I need that this is what I'm going to talk about.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:So you've been waiting on beta breath.
Speaker A:So the two statements are.
Speaker A:And by the way, I prepared notes because I really want to get this right.
Speaker A:So the two statements are we worship at the shrine of our own point of view.
Speaker A:And the second one that marries and parallels with it is idolatry, is to think that the way you see it is the way that it is.
Speaker A:So sit with that for a moment.
Speaker A:I'll repeat them again in case you're not taking notes.
Speaker A:We worship at the shrine of our own point of view.
Speaker A:And the second one is idolatry is to think that the way you see it is the way that it is.
Speaker A:And so really and truly, I think in this space that I'm going to navigate with you over the next maybe eight minutes or so, it's really just an invitation for us to notice where, you know, our perspective might be limiting our growth.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like we might be so hard pressed to, to be so stuck on sort of our, our thinking about a certain situation.
Speaker A:And typically I'm, I'm, I'm probably going to anchor on you situations where you feel slighted, where you feel hurt, where you feel you've been disrespected and you're really holding on to how you believe what happened, happened and there's nothing wrong.
Speaker A:I'm.
Speaker A:First of all, I just disclaimer because hey, I'm in the, I'm in that I'm holding on to category on certain things, right?
Speaker A:But I actually invited myself today to see if I can grab hold of these new concepts really quickly because I actually, I think why it resonated with me is that I am really in this.
Speaker A:Era of life, really trying to like align myself with that, which brings me least amount of resistance.
Speaker A:And I think when I heard that, I felt like that's a growth moment for you, Inc. You know, and so, you know, if I just start with like the shrine of our own point of view and my thoughts around this is like when you think about shrine, you think about something really sacred, like something that you're gonna behold and care for it, you know, and it's honored and it's protected and nothing can come in and, and some of Us, without even knowing it, have turned our opinions into shrines.
Speaker A:I think, you know, if I really think back, like, I have a lot of experiences that I myself have done that.
Speaker A:And I think even as a leader, it's.
Speaker A:It's 100% more important to not do that, especially when you're entering into difficult conversations with other people, right?
Speaker A:You have to be willing to show up open, you know, curious, seeking to understand.
Speaker A:And even seeking more to understand and to be understood.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:To me, when I start to think about how I can really embrace this in my life, I. I think it's really.
Speaker A:That's, that's.
Speaker A:That's it, right?
Speaker A:It's turning the tables on myself and not trying to get people to understand my point of view, understand what I'm saying, understand why I'm hurt, you know, but asking questions and saying, you know, this is how you showed up for me today, or this is how.
Speaker A:This is how I'm sort of looking at this situation.
Speaker A:Help me to see more windows of.
Speaker A:Of thought, of insight, of things that I may not have thought about, right?
Speaker A:And so, you know, it's really.
Speaker A:It's about moving away from worshiping our own point of views, defending it, justifying it, protecting it.
Speaker A:I remember years, years ago, and I often have used this myself.
Speaker A:I think it's Ilana Vincent.
Speaker A:She said it's either her or Lisa Nichols.
Speaker A:I have nothing to hide, nothing to protect, nothing to pretend and nothing to defend.
Speaker A:And that's really being able to sit in this space where you're void of resistance, you know, and so here's, Here's, I think, an opportunity for us to figure out how can we know when we're faced with this?
Speaker A:I think it's when maybe we feel we're being attacked by something, you know, or being potentially challenged.
Speaker A:And, and I did.
Speaker A:I sort of thought about, like, how myself, I can start to put sort of tools in place, tactical things in place that I can.
Speaker A:I can step into those moments.
Speaker A:So I'll share with.
Speaker A:I'll share those.
Speaker A:My thoughts with you before we get to the.
Speaker A:The end of this episode.
Speaker A:But I do believe that when we get so maniacal and overly attached to our perspective, we are.
Speaker A:We are actually blocking a lot of opportunity and potentially healthier point of views, right, Than our.
Speaker A:Than our own.
Speaker A:And so, and I think something also happens to us.
Speaker A:We actually stop listening to, to the peoples, right?
Speaker A:We are responding.
Speaker A:We are listening to respond, right?
Speaker A:We stop listening.
Speaker A:We create distance, right?
Speaker A:We forget about harmony.
Speaker A:Like, there's no harmonization happening in that So I think I framed that enough so I think we all understand that.
Speaker A:Now, how about idolatry as our own perspective as well?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So that was the second quote, which was.
Speaker A:And going back to my notes, idolatry is to think that the way you see it is the way that it is.
Speaker A:And so what I wrote here is idolatry technically isn't just statues and symbols.
Speaker A:Idolatry is when we, when we elevate anything above humility and in my life, above God.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like idolizing something that is, I think.
Speaker A:Not that which is bigger than ourselves.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:But actually I do.
Speaker A:I, I. Idolizing something that is not grounded in anything can easily slip through our fingers.
Speaker A:Can a circumstance can take it away.
Speaker A:You know, that, that.
Speaker A:And so when you are idle, I like idolizing something and you're only looking at it from that point of view.
Speaker A:I believe that that's where again, some of those same, you know, feelings you get from that I had just kind of rhymed off earlier really start to come into play.
Speaker A:You stop listening.
Speaker A:You become extremely.
Speaker A:You feel like you're being attacked.
Speaker A:You're, you're, you are radically responding in a way that, you know, takes you away from harmony.
Speaker A:And so we're responding at that point in time through our wounds, through the things that we idolize, through our biases.
Speaker A:So all of those come into play.
Speaker A:So, okay, I think I have framed this enough in terms of, like.
Speaker A:So those are some of the key points that came up when I was like, okay, when does.
Speaker A:When give me evidence?
Speaker A:God, I said on, on these two things, either in myself or, you know, just through my experience that I have with others.
Speaker A:And so I think that what this means for me from like, and where I see it coming into play, like in relationships and definitely in leadership, like I was talking about today is I definitely know it shows up anywhere, everywhere, right?
Speaker A:So in our relationships where we argue to be right, not to understand.
Speaker A:So I said earlier that I think for me, what I, what I, what I can see as such a great, like, flip on this is really seeking constantly seeking constantly to understand.
Speaker A:Forget about being understood.
Speaker A:I think that that's overrated.
Speaker A:Seeking to understand, adding perspective.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:And so I always like to say, and I had a, a team, big team session.
Speaker A:I remember our guiding, one of our guiding principles is that we use the word add.
Speaker A:And I'd like to add to.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:And then collectively we're going to agree.
Speaker A:We can try to agree on what gets taken away, right?
Speaker A:But we always add to.
Speaker A:I'd like to add to what you're saying, I like to add to your perspective.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And in leadership, I think it shows up when we push our ideas instead of inviting collaboration.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And so in conflict is where we react before reflecting that I'm getting a little bit better, except maybe some of my closest relationships.
Speaker A:Okay, maybe had a moment this morning, actually, I probably misunderstood some advice I was getting from a really great friend and reacted to that because it felt contrary to what I felt I'd locked into in terms of a decision for myself.
Speaker A:And in faith, it's where our interpretation becomes more important than God's intention.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And so listening becomes impossible when we're in love with our own point of view.
Speaker A:So, y', all, we need to fall out of love of our own point of view.
Speaker A:We have to recognize that it is not the only way to see a certain situation and that we don't know everything.
Speaker A:And so let's talk a little bit as I close up, as I promised.
Speaker A:Here's.
Speaker A:Here's some of my reflection points on how we can actually break free from perspective.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:And so here are a few things that might help us move away, some of which I mentioned.
Speaker A:Ask what else could be true?
Speaker A:I think that's a great one.
Speaker A:Or what needs to be true in order for me to believe something different.
Speaker A:You know, the small.
Speaker A:This small question, I think opens up big possibilities.
Speaker A:What else could be true?
Speaker A:Because so far as you have something else that could be true, well, guess what?
Speaker A:Your point of view just got shattered.
Speaker A:And there is an alternate way to look at this.
Speaker A:And if there's an alter way to look at it, then maybe you can get a balanced view in terms of what you're dealing with.
Speaker A:And navigating another one would be practice curiosity instead of certainty.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:So seeking to ask, I said so pause before defending and ask one more question.
Speaker A:Just one more question.
Speaker A:Another one could be.
Speaker A:Consider the lens you're looking at this through.
Speaker A:So remember I talked about biases and our wounds, our.
Speaker A:Hurts, our.
Speaker A:You know, um, and so is.
Speaker A:So I think that that's a personal thing.
Speaker A:Why is it that I'm thinking this?
Speaker A:Is it fear?
Speaker A:Is it ego?
Speaker A:Is it.
Speaker A:Is this really true?
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Because sometimes I think we have the audacity to think that people wake up just to make our day bad or to give us really poor advice, you know, or to disrespect us.
Speaker A:I think that.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Because at the end of the day, I always say there is what is said, and before you ingest it, you have to recognize the moment you ingest it it is then going to mix with every other experience that you have already had prior to what was said.
Speaker A:And so at that point in time, you're infecting it with maybe, you know, things that you've never unpacked within yourself.
Speaker A:And so I always say give like there's got to be this opportunity.
Speaker A:I'm in it.
Speaker A:Like this firewall that's configured where things can, can.
Speaker A:Can have to go through and get analyzed and processed first.
Speaker A:And, and the, the stuff that won't serve you gets spit out and the stuff that would serve you can, can then be safely ingested.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:But there's got to be that firewall, that ability to examine, to question, to, to like challeng what it is that you are hearing or trying to understand before you actually ingest it.
Speaker A:So I think that there's.
Speaker A:That another one could be hold the possibility that your perspective is incomplete.
Speaker A:And that's where I think asking questions so what else can be like.
Speaker A:I think we go back to that question.
Speaker A:What else can be true?
Speaker A:Or what might I be missing?
Speaker A:What.
Speaker A:What transpired prior to me showing up in this moment?
Speaker A:You know, especially if it's another human being, it's like, hey, you're showing up a little bit differently for me today.
Speaker A:What, what happened to you this morning, you know, like prior to you meeting up with me.
Speaker A:And it's not wrong.
Speaker A:It's not your perspective at that point is not wrong.
Speaker A:It's just.
Speaker A:But it may not just be complete.
Speaker A:You may not have the, the full understanding of everything and then listen to understand not, not reload.
Speaker A:And so most people listen to respond and empower but I, I do recognize and I have to be better this empowered people listen to learn.
Speaker A:Empowered people listen to learn.
Speaker A:So I am so in love with these two statements.
Speaker A:I don't know if anything I've just shared resonated with you have.
Speaker A:Have like is like honestly I, I don't even know if I listen to the episode beyond that.
Speaker A:I have to go back and look and watch my LinkedIn.
Speaker A:But if you want to know, actually it was TD Jakes.
Speaker A:It's his next chapter.
Speaker A:I, I think I might have mentioned this already.
Speaker A:This is my pyramid pause brain.
Speaker A:But TD Jakes anyway leader.
Speaker A:No, I take that back.
Speaker A:Leadership is actually repetition.
Speaker A:So it is TD Jake's next chapter podcast interview that he had with Denzel Washington.
Speaker A:It was recently released on YouTube so I think it's fairly new but it's worth the listen and this particular place where I've heard these statements was in the, the chapter, the section of the, of the interview called get out of your way.
Speaker A:Okay, so please do take it in.
Speaker A:Please share what you think about this.
Speaker A:And then as a call to action, I think I want to just invite all of us to notice an area in our lives where we have built a shrine around our own perspective.
Speaker A:And this could be really live like think of, be present in your day tomorrow.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:And, and then gently, just gently set step off the wrong, you know, just invite something else in.
Speaker A:Ask someone in your life, how do you see it, you know, and then truly listen.
Speaker A:And so far as you can come up with another balanced view.
Speaker A:Well, guess what, you now don't have one point of view.
Speaker A:You have a balanced view, you know, and so when we release our grip on being right, we make room for being wise.
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And so you already know what I always say, empowered humans.
Speaker A:Empowered humans.
Speaker A:So I share this today and that empowerment truly starts with humility, with curiosity and the courage to expand your view.
Speaker A:So join me on, you know, pushing past and growing in a way that we don't just invite one point of view into any type of interaction that we're in, but we really ask questions to bring more point of views and to really challenge ourselves to actually see, see bigger picture, more, more thought, more insight, more opportunity.
Speaker A:And I think that just going to open up better collaboration and connection with others.
Speaker A:So it is your girl.
Speaker A:I hope you enjoy this solo interview.
Speaker A:I don't know if this is my first for the year, but it's certainly the first on the YouTube channel.
Speaker A:So shout outs to the YouTube channel and my first solo interview but to everyone, you know, we keep these short and sweet and this is where I have to say we're out.
Speaker A:Bye bye.
Speaker A:Actually I'm out.
Speaker A:Bye bye.
Speaker A:There you have it.
Speaker A:I trust that you are feeling more empowered in your skin.
Speaker A:As the late Dr. Maya Angelou said, when you get, you give, when you learn, you teach.
Speaker A:So it would mean so much for us at Empower to my skin Inc.
Speaker A:If you share this episode and tag us or teach an insight that you took from today's episode on your social and tag us.
Speaker A:Feel free to leave us a review over at itunes and follow us on social media.
Speaker A:Power to my skin.
Speaker A:Finally remember to subscribe so you never miss an episode.
