Marlon Addison: Emotional Intelligence Is Your Superpower
Confidence, clarity, and purpose might just be hiding within you, waiting to be discovered! Marlon Addison, shares his insights on emotional intelligence, the ultimate superpower that many of us overlook.
Marlon believes that in a world constantly telling us who we should be, it’s often about reflecting on the brilliance we’ve overlooked in ourselves. He emphasizes how understanding our emotions can help us lead, grow, and thrive in life.
Join us as we explore practical tips on harnessing emotional intelligence, the importance of self-awareness, and how we can create meaningful connections with ourselves and others.
Takeaways:
- Marlon Addison emphasizes that emotional intelligence is a superpower we often overlook, which can help us thrive in life and work.
- Marlon discusses the importance of self-awareness and understanding our emotions to better manage and use them in our daily interactions.
- The Johari window is introduced as a practical tool for self-assessment, helping us to recognize our strengths and blind spots in emotional intelligence.
- Nkechi and Marlon explore the idea that personal evolution is a journey requiring intention and action, not just a desire to change.
- Marlon shares his family-oriented approach to life, highlighting how empowering conversations with loved ones can foster deeper connections.
- The episode concludes with a thought-provoking question about the significance of emotional intelligence versus traditional intelligence, encouraging listeners to reflect on their own experiences.
If this episode resonates with you, then remember... SUBSCRIBE • 5-Star Rate • COMMENT • SHARE this Podcast!! 💚❤️🙌🏾🙏🏾
Book Recommendation: "212: The Extra Degree" by Samuel L. Parker and "Monday Morning Leadership" by David Cottrell
Find Marlon Online:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marlon-addison-1535354/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarlonMentors1
Find us online: https://linktr.ee/nkechinwaforrobinson
Transcript
Great day, amazing humans.
Speaker A:Welcome to the Empowered in My Skin podcast, where we have conversations that inform, inspire, and remind you that you matter.
Speaker A:This is the place where we share stories, wisdom, and experiences designed to help you live boldly, think empowering thoughts, and show up fully in the skin you're in.
Speaker A:I'm your host, Nkching Wafor, and I'm so glad you're here.
Speaker A:Now let's get into today's episode.
Speaker A:Great day, amazing humans, and welcome to the next guest episode of Empowered on My Skin.
Speaker A:What if the very thing you're searching for.
Speaker A:Confidence, clarity, purpose.
Speaker A:Has been within you all along?
Speaker A:In a world that constantly tells us who we should be, sometimes all it takes is someone to reflect back on the brilliance that you've been overlooking.
Speaker A:And so this guest helps uncover the superpowers they've been carrying their entire lives and use them to.
Speaker A:To lead, grow, and thrive, thereby causing them to step into the power of who they truly are.
Speaker A:He believes that one of such superpowers is emotional intelligence, y', all, which is seen as the most underestimated superpower that we possess as human beings.
Speaker A:And so, please join me in a gigantic podcast.
Speaker A:Welcome for Marlon Addison.
Speaker B:Yes, ma'.
Speaker A:Am.
Speaker B:Great.
Speaker B:Great to be here.
Speaker A:Where are you dialing in from, other than your car?
Speaker B:New Jersey.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:New Jersey.
Speaker B:I'm a Jersey boy.
Speaker A:Do you have a Jersey accent?
Speaker A:Like, I feel like the New Jersey accent.
Speaker A:Maybe it's just the movies.
Speaker A:Sounds a little bit more.
Speaker A:There's a little bit more of a twang than you have.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Did you.
Speaker A:Did you grow up in Jersey?
Speaker B:Born and bred.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:Born and bred.
Speaker B:Close to New York.
Speaker B:I'm a. Yeah.
Speaker B:Jersey City, New Jersey, actually, to be there.
Speaker A:There, there, there it was.
Speaker A:That came out in the.
Speaker B:Actually, so it's there.
Speaker B:We hide it sometimes, you know, got to tamp it down a little bit, but, yeah, it's there.
Speaker B:Born and bred.
Speaker A:I love it.
Speaker B:Every day.
Speaker A:I love it.
Speaker A:So as your opening question, Marlon, what has been your most empowering thought of the day that you've had so far?
Speaker B:My most empowering thought of the day?
Speaker B:Yeah, it's great.
Speaker B:So I'm.
Speaker B:It's simple for me.
Speaker B:I'm very, very, very.
Speaker B:I can't include too many areas.
Speaker B:Family oriented.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:So it's always going to be surrounding my family, whether it's my parents, whether it's my siblings, my children.
Speaker B:So it's always around them.
Speaker B:And typically what I do is we were at church service today, and after church service, after each service, the kiddos and I, they're They're older.
Speaker B:But, you know, we connect.
Speaker B:And I ask them, what motivated you or what, you know, what did you agree with in the service?
Speaker B:What did you disagree with?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:How.
Speaker B:Connect with that?
Speaker B:So that is empowering for me.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Because I get to have a conversation with them.
Speaker B:They're involved with it.
Speaker B:They enjoy it.
Speaker B:And that's pretty much.
Speaker B:We call it the kiddos call.
Speaker B:So we do it every Sunday after church.
Speaker B:So it's been going on three years now.
Speaker B:Three.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Boy, boy, girl.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:So the oldest is Nigeria Ife.
Speaker B:That's my oldest.
Speaker B:That's Dr. Addison, Dr.
Speaker B:Physical Therapy.
Speaker B:She's in Houston currently.
Speaker B:Then I have Micah, Raquel.
Speaker B:That's.
Speaker B:That's.
Speaker B:That's my girl.
Speaker B:That's the thespian.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So that's the actress.
Speaker B:She's also a teacher.
Speaker B:And then I have M2 affectionately called Marlin Squared.
Speaker B:So, yeah, he's.
Speaker B:He's a junior in high school, so all star, All American in track, distance, plays baseball as well, plays the sack.
Speaker B:So those are.
Speaker B:That's my pride.
Speaker A:Pride.
Speaker A:Proud.
Speaker A:And like, wow, that's awesome.
Speaker A:Congratulations.
Speaker A:Such a beautiful family.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Congratulations.
Speaker A:So one of the things I start to do in this season, and you're actually the first guest, is just the way that it's working because of the way they record.
Speaker A:You're the first guest that I'm actually getting to.
Speaker A:To figure this, how this works.
Speaker A:So I got it.
Speaker A:I stole it from Stephen Bartlett.
Speaker A:So I'm not a genius on this one.
Speaker A:I just love that he does it.
Speaker A:And so the guest that I interviewed last left a chose.
Speaker A:So there's two things I'm asking.
Speaker A:Either you can leave a question or a point of wisdom, which they'll get to comment on for the next guest.
Speaker A:And so what they left you is what is something that you've had.
Speaker A:You've had to either forgive yourself for or B, give yourself permission to do that has shifted to the trajectory of how you live your life now.
Speaker B:Who was your last guest?
Speaker B:I want to give, like, a can or kind of a road, a mechanical response.
Speaker B:That's.
Speaker B:That's a great question.
Speaker B:And I know we hear that a lot, like, you know, cliche.
Speaker B:Oh, that's a great.
Speaker B:That really is.
Speaker B:And it gives me pause.
Speaker A:You have to either forgive yourself for or give yourself permission to do that has shifted the trajectory of your life.
Speaker B:So, man, you know, it's real when it.
Speaker B:When it pauses you.
Speaker B:So it's.
Speaker B:I'll say.
Speaker B:I'll go for permission.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:I'll Go for permission.
Speaker B:I've given myself permission and again I want to be open and again not too canned and give you some cliche crap, but I've given myself permission to listen to myself more and not allow others opinions to impact me as much.
Speaker B:And I'm saying that very intentionally because I teach on emotional intelligence.
Speaker B:So folks may say well you know, that should be like normal for you.
Speaker B:But it's not because we hold things and we tend to people please.
Speaker B:Even when we don't don't know we're people pleasing.
Speaker B:So for me, I'm giving myself permission to do what I need to do and in certain cases do what I want to do without your permission or without you saying, you know, how do you regard this?
Speaker B:I don't care how you regard it.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And not in a negative way.
Speaker B:Like not that I don't care about you as a human being, but this is a marlin decision.
Speaker B:So I don't care how you regard it specifically.
Speaker B:So I'll give myself permission to act accordingly and understand that there are going to be some no's from other people.
Speaker B:Understand that there's going to be some rough points from other people that don't agree and that's okay as well.
Speaker B:However, I need to move forward whether you agree or not.
Speaker B:So there you go.
Speaker B:Thanks a lot.
Speaker A:So it's not cliche at all and in fact I'm going to add on to the.
Speaker A:Let's just like let me just add if the.
Speaker A:Into the clicheness of it.
Speaker A:January.
Speaker A:January.
Speaker A:So I do this.
Speaker A:I. I'm part of a group and we use the Bible app and every month we do a, A Bible app plan for the month.
Speaker A:And so in January we start off the month no better place and started with than identity.
Speaker A:And in working through that month I got to a point where right in front of me it was like big part of something that I need to really work through is people pleasing.
Speaker A:I thought I had bet I thought I had.
Speaker A:I thought I'd handled it in my life.
Speaker A:But what I recognize is I handled it really with the people that are external.
Speaker A:Like you know, the people that are, you know, the easy ones, the ones you can walk away.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:But it's right.
Speaker A:It's the ones that are closest to you.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:That is.
Speaker A:Which is.
Speaker A:We're talking about family and close, close friends.
Speaker A:And I realized yes we are.
Speaker A:How in front of my face it was.
Speaker A:Yeah, to your point.
Speaker A:That ink you need to be okay with like really standing firm on the decisions that you Made, especially if they're coming from a place of faith, right.
Speaker A:Like where you.
Speaker A:Right, know this is what you're hearing in this exact self.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's not easy though.
Speaker A:Even though both of us are.
Speaker B:It's not, it's not in my, at my big age, it's still not easy.
Speaker B:And it's not designed to be easy, right.
Speaker B:So anything worth doing, it has some difficulty to it.
Speaker B:So it's really.
Speaker B:Success is so brilliant and better on the other side.
Speaker A:I believe that.
Speaker A:I believe.
Speaker A:So let's talk about emotional intelligence, right?
Speaker A:And I, it's, it's I.
Speaker A:And it's so funny.
Speaker A:Like, this is not on the, on the sheet that my.
Speaker A:Like the research we did.
Speaker A:But.
Speaker A:But it just comes to mind right now.
Speaker A:Is there a difference between emotional intelligence and emotional awareness?
Speaker B:So for me, no.
Speaker A:Okay, okay.
Speaker B:Because emotional awareness is a part of emotional intelligence.
Speaker B:In fact, it's one of the.
Speaker B:One of the four courses.
Speaker B:So self awareness and so define it.
Speaker B:And what I like to do, I try to do it differently each time I'm on a podcast, I talk to people.
Speaker B:The concept doesn't change.
Speaker B:The definition doesn't change.
Speaker B:It can grow.
Speaker B:But at its core, the functionality of it remains the same.
Speaker B:So I'll give you the equation for emotional intelligence, right?
Speaker B:So that's something I think may be new for, for the audience.
Speaker B:So it's, it's perceiving, right?
Speaker B:Emotions, understanding emotions, managing emotions and using emotions.
Speaker B:So I'll repeat it.
Speaker B:Perceiving, understanding, managing, using.
Speaker B:So to your point, the awareness, that's the perceiving, right?
Speaker B:The perception, right?
Speaker B:What do I think of that?
Speaker B:I'm seeing this happen in real time.
Speaker B:So what am I perceiving?
Speaker B:Not only for myself, but for others.
Speaker B:And then comes the.
Speaker B:Comes to you, right?
Speaker B:The understanding.
Speaker B:Take a pause.
Speaker B:How can I understand this?
Speaker B:How can I get better?
Speaker B:How can I actually relate to this person?
Speaker B:How can I relate to myself in this moment, right?
Speaker B:And then managing that, how do I manage it?
Speaker B:It's the how.
Speaker B:I know, I saw it.
Speaker B:I know the what.
Speaker B:Pronounce the how.
Speaker B:How do I do that?
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:And then you get to the using.
Speaker B:Once I know how, how do I use it effectively?
Speaker B:And so I'll give an example.
Speaker B:I think when we talk about emotional intelligence, we typically go from 0 to 60.
Speaker B:Like we go to anger.
Speaker B:No, I'm gonna go to happiness, right?
Speaker B:Because people forget happiness is an emotion, right?
Speaker B:So it's a part of this.
Speaker B:So I'll go to this.
Speaker B:So we're giving you A surprise party, right?
Speaker B:You don't know it's a surprise party.
Speaker B:So your girlfriend, she knows she's taking you out, she's taking you other places.
Speaker B:You don't know.
Speaker B:We're just running you around, but you're having a good time.
Speaker B:You finally get to the party, right.
Speaker B:You open the door, surprise.
Speaker B:What's your emotion?
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:It's not anger, right?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:You're excited and you.
Speaker B:And then your cognitive emotions, I mean cognitive thinking kicks in, right?
Speaker B:Like that's why you took me here, that's why you bought this, right?
Speaker B:Because people fail to realize emotions travel travels faster than thought.
Speaker B:They do, right.
Speaker B:Typically milliseconds faster than your thought.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And people would like to say like take the emotions out of it or remove the emotions.
Speaker B:You can't.
Speaker B:That's impossible.
Speaker B:You can tamping it down, right?
Speaker B:We can help.
Speaker B:That's what emotional intelligence is.
Speaker B:We can try to control it to the extent that we can.
Speaker B:But you can't remove it even if you're calm.
Speaker B:That doesn't mean emotions are gone.
Speaker B:It's just that you're more in a control state.
Speaker B:So hopefully that makes sense as far as tying it back into your awareness.
Speaker B:So awareness is a part of emotional intelligence?
Speaker A:Yes, entirely.
Speaker A:So keeping with what you talked about though is I think part of the just following the perceiving, the understanding.
Speaker A:The understanding is a huge part because that's.
Speaker A:That's where meaning comes from.
Speaker A:Correct.
Speaker A:That's where whatever it is that you are perceiving, you then are now going to give it meaning.
Speaker B:Correct?
Speaker B:You got it.
Speaker A:And it's the meaning.
Speaker A:Is it in the.
Speaker A:The meaning is where really the intelligence comes into huge.
Speaker B:Because it could be an assumption and not truly meaning.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Because.
Speaker A:Because I'm figuring after that the managing and using comes then gets.
Speaker A:Is a domino effect from the meaning.
Speaker A:So how do we start to understand things without to ensure that it has the right meaning that is going to produce at least the best results to serve whomever it is in the best way possible.
Speaker B:So I love that and here's why.
Speaker B:Because this is one is very simple that people avoid and sometimes they a bit timid you ask, right?
Speaker B:Especially if you're in a conversation like we're talking now, why wouldn't I ask now?
Speaker B:It's a way to frame it.
Speaker B:Hey, I don't want to seem out of pocket or this is what I perceived and how I felt.
Speaker B:But I know just because I felt something and.
Speaker B:And because I'm offended does not mean that you said something offensive.
Speaker B:So can you break that down for me.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:So I think we need to ask that.
Speaker B:And even if you, the person did say something offensive, how do you manage that?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:We can't just blow, you know, we're not children.
Speaker B:We can't just blow up when we want to.
Speaker B:Did you hear what he just said to me?
Speaker B:Yeah, I heard him.
Speaker B:Now what are you going to do about it?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:That person is wrong.
Speaker B:But how do you handle that?
Speaker B:And the wrongness.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Martin Luther King.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:A man that's not, you know, you don't judge him, but in a place of comfort, you judge that man in his character.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:In the place of.
Speaker B:And I'm paraphrasing.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Stress.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:I'm up against it now.
Speaker B:Where's my character?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:So it's twofold.
Speaker B:If somebody does offend you, how do you handle it?
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:Or maybe you're offended because you feel that way, but that didn't actually happen.
Speaker B:So you ask questions either way.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:Marlon.
Speaker A:Okay, we have to back up a second because.
Speaker A:So I.
Speaker A:You.
Speaker A:And I know, because I. I'm gonna say I've been doing the work.
Speaker A:And I.
Speaker A:And it's funny.
Speaker A:One of the things I. I've often said is I call it in technology, like, if you think about, like, any, like, your devices that you have, in order to allow viruses to come in, they're protected, Right.
Speaker A:You put software on to protect it.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And it.
Speaker A:It.
Speaker A:Anything that has to come into the device goes against the configuration.
Speaker A:And if it's.
Speaker A:If it looks like it's going to be junk mail, it doesn't make it into your inbox.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:So I think some of the technical.
Speaker B:Background coming out, guys.
Speaker A:And so I think that some of that is important because before you ask, you have to have been able to have done that.
Speaker A:You have to have been able to say, I don't need to allow this into my inbox.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker A:So what questions do I need to ask to ensure to.
Speaker A:To understand the configuration of what's coming at me?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like, and so.
Speaker A:So that.
Speaker A:That's not anybody that's just walking on the street.
Speaker A:We see that every single day.
Speaker A:That.
Speaker A:That's obviously not right.
Speaker A:Not reality.
Speaker A:So how do people get there?
Speaker A:Like.
Speaker A:Like, there's gotta be.
Speaker A:There's gotta be some personal work first.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:100%, Whatever that looks like for you.
Speaker B:So I'm going to answer that two ways.
Speaker B:So I want to get very specific for those who are listening and want to have a direct course of action.
Speaker B:So there's typically three ways to work on your emotional intelligence, it's more than three ways, but typically three big ways.
Speaker B:I'll put it that way.
Speaker B:One is, right.
Speaker B:Self assessment.
Speaker B:Oh, I need to check something out.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And something is not sitting right.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Whether that's in your personal time, your one on one time.
Speaker B:And then there's others.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Other assessment.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Who, what are you saying about me?
Speaker B:Maybe a teacher, maybe a close friend who gives you the real deal.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And then lastly, it's the testing.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:You have the Myers Briggs testing.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:The grandmother of them all.
Speaker B:And I say that on purpose because it was a mother duo who created it.
Speaker B:And you know, you have the color testing things of that n. Right.
Speaker B:Disc, you know, dominance, influence, steadiness, conscientiousness.
Speaker B:You have that.
Speaker B:So those are things that you can do to show like, wow, oh, that's why we were arguing.
Speaker B:I thought we were communicating, but we missed each other.
Speaker B:And color wise, I may be a red, you may be a blue.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And that's not saying one is better than the other.
Speaker B:That's just giving you groundwork or base work to say, oh, that's why I think that way.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And testing isn't for everyone, but I wanted to give them a solid foundation.
Speaker B:Foundation.
Speaker B:This is what you can do to your point to get there.
Speaker B:Now, the other piece of that is, and I call it the block game.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Typically we feel like, you know what my block game is strong block cut off.
Speaker B:I'm not dealing.
Speaker A:Which is not great either.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker B:So we do that.
Speaker B:But that doesn't help you get better.
Speaker B:Because I find oftentimes, Right.
Speaker B:The blessing is probably on the other side of your enemy.
Speaker B:It is.
Speaker B:You have to work through that.
Speaker B:I'm not saying you have to befriend every person you disagree with, but there's a way to work with that person, handle that person.
Speaker B:Or ultimately, okay, I do need to cut this person off.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:But typically our mind goes from zero to 60 and we're cutting them off without going through the spectrum.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And when I say the spectrum, I mean when I ask my children, for example, hey, how you doing today?
Speaker B:I'm okay.
Speaker B:Well, scale of 1 to 10, what does that mean?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Are you a 4?
Speaker B:Are you a 5?
Speaker B:Or we may go meteor, Meteorological.
Speaker B:Are you sunny today?
Speaker B:Are you overcast?
Speaker B:I'm okay.
Speaker B:With a few shadows.
Speaker B:Okay, got it.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:You may go letter grade.
Speaker B:I'm an A.
Speaker B:Great.
Speaker B:I'm excellent.
Speaker B:I'm good.
Speaker B:I'm a B. I'm a C today.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So we can do that.
Speaker B:To see where people are.
Speaker B:And I encourage this specifically because I think when somebody's upset, they typically say, I'm angry.
Speaker B:You may not be angry.
Speaker B:You may be a two.
Speaker B:You may be a little frustrated, maybe a little annoyed.
Speaker B:There's a range.
Speaker B:So I work on vocabulary too.
Speaker B:Let's find out where you really are.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And that's a part of the work.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:Long winded.
Speaker B:Way to say those two methods can help you.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:One of the things I have, like, just in my journey of trying to get to know myself better and even just be more aware of, like, how I navigate things is I give myself a bar.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like.
Speaker A:Like, anger must come from, like, harm to my family, which means that if I'm in traffic and somebody cuts me off, it's not gonna.
Speaker A:That's not gonna be like, I have.
Speaker A:Cause I.
Speaker A:One of the things I recognize, like our brains, we don't understand.
Speaker A:All we know is we know the emotion of anger, but our bodies don't know whether it came from like, like something really, really drastic that happened.
Speaker A:Life shattering versus somebody just took your place in line at a.
Speaker A:At a local coffee shop or something like that.
Speaker B:That's good.
Speaker B:So good.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It.
Speaker A:I've learned to give myself a bar to, like, certain emotions that I know that could take me off the top, whether it's even happiness or.
Speaker A:Or like on the spectrum, happiness or like complete anger.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:I love it.
Speaker B:I love it.
Speaker B:And that's.
Speaker B:And that goes to managing.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:You set the bar, and that's a part of managing your emotions.
Speaker B:You know, like, here's a buzzword that people love to use and always use it negatively.
Speaker B:By and large, they do.
Speaker B:I hate to use always and never, so forgive me.
Speaker B:By and large, they do trigger.
Speaker B:Oh, I'm triggered.
Speaker B:It's okay.
Speaker B:Do you know why you're triggered?
Speaker B:Yes, that's the key.
Speaker B:Let's.
Speaker B:Let's.
Speaker B:Okay, good.
Speaker B:You're triggered.
Speaker B:Why?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And how can we manage that when it happens again?
Speaker B:Because people have the false thought that, oh, I passed that hurdle, I'm over that test, it's not going to happen again.
Speaker B:You're right.
Speaker B:It's going to happen several more times.
Speaker B:How do you manage it?
Speaker B:Because it's going to happen again.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:How do you graduate?
Speaker B:How do you get out the second grade to the third grade, so on and so forth.
Speaker B:So to your point, you do put bars up there.
Speaker B:Okay, this gets me.
Speaker B:I'm not going to do that.
Speaker B:And then you retrain your brain.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:It's rewired neuroplasticity.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:For those who want to research it, your brain adapts to new models and to new things.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So it's great to do that because you expound and it grows.
Speaker B:It really does your brain.
Speaker B:It really.
Speaker A:Do you believe that people can change?
Speaker A:I don't know why?
Speaker A:That question just came to me because a lot of people are like, ah, they can never change.
Speaker A:You believe people can change.
Speaker B:So the short answer is, yes, I believe people can change.
Speaker B:Do I believe people want to change?
Speaker B:No, because it requires work.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:That's.
Speaker B:Yeah, you can absolutely change.
Speaker B:You can do a lot.
Speaker B:I've seen people rebuild their bodies and rebuild their mental states.
Speaker B:I've seen it.
Speaker B:But those who don't always have an excuse for it.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Is that changing?
Speaker A:Is that evolving?
Speaker B:Oh, so I think, I think that's good.
Speaker B:I would call it evolution.
Speaker B:Because to do that is very intentional, right?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And I don't mean intentional, just the word.
Speaker B:Because, you know, like my son did a play recently and they had a scene where he and his best friend, they were alive at the time.
Speaker B:And my son was really dead in the scene because he overdosed on drugs in the scene.
Speaker B:Guys in the play.
Speaker B:And one of the lines he said was, intention doesn't erase impact.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:So intention doesn't erase impact.
Speaker B:So when I mention intention, intention has to be with action.
Speaker B:What's your action behind that intention?
Speaker B:So to your point, I think it is evolution.
Speaker B:I think you do evolve because, you know, you know what?
Speaker B:This is not sitting right with me and those of us who are facing driven, which I definitely am, and I make no bones about it.
Speaker B:You, you can't stay in that same place.
Speaker B:You have to grow, right?
Speaker B:It must grow.
Speaker B:So I do think it's evolution and comparing it to change, I can change something, but change can be momentarily and I can go back to.
Speaker A:That's what I was.
Speaker A:Yeah, so that's why I said it's more because, you know, you hear especially in this age of life with all this digital distractions, but people can't change.
Speaker A:Or when people show you who they are, believe them the first time.
Speaker A:But I truly do believe if somebody to your point makes a decision that they want to, let's just say for them, they want to change.
Speaker A:They have, They've done the self.
Speaker A:They have done the self assessment and they realize that there are things about themselves that they don't really like and they want to change from that.
Speaker A:It actually also then requires others to be open to receive them new.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:And so in that particular situation, somebody says to you, but, hey, Marlon.
Speaker A:But everyone keeps treating me the same way.
Speaker A:How can I.
Speaker A:How can I get them to see that I am trying to ev.
Speaker A:Like, change or evolve.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:Evolve, Right.
Speaker B:So I tell them, hey, that's what you get.
Speaker B:You messed up.
Speaker B:That's how you lived your life now.
Speaker B:I'm just kidding.
Speaker A:Where's this going?
Speaker B:Joking.
Speaker B:I am joking.
Speaker B:I'm joking.
Speaker B:Even though I've seen that in others.
Speaker B:I really have.
Speaker B:But, you know, you had the conversation with them to say, you have to give others the grace that you're expecting.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And it comes back.
Speaker B:It does.
Speaker B:You have to give others the grace that you're respecting, expecting.
Speaker B:I think when you do the work, and we say that a lot, it's work, right.
Speaker B:You're unearthing, you're digging.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And so I would encourage that person to listen to their refined self talk, because we talk to each other, talk to ourselves all day.
Speaker B:That's our self talk.
Speaker B:Oh, you really botched that up.
Speaker B:Or you can flip it.
Speaker B:Great job today, man.
Speaker B:You really.
Speaker B:You're turning that corner.
Speaker B:So I would tell that person, be patient.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And if they don't come around, understand that.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:I think we shy away from the truth.
Speaker B:Understand that there's a difference between being honest and being candid, right?
Speaker B:There is.
Speaker B:At least from my perspective, being honest is.
Speaker B:Hey, Marlon, you're on the podcast, right?
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker B:I'm empowered in my skin.
Speaker B:I'm on the pod.
Speaker B:That's a fact.
Speaker B:And one thing I teach in my classes is fact, fiction, perspective.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Fact versus fiction versus perspective.
Speaker B:But to the original point, honesty and candidacy.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:And being candid.
Speaker B:Honest.
Speaker B:We're on this call candid, I may say.
Speaker B:You know what?
Speaker B:I liked it.
Speaker B:It was great.
Speaker B:Behind the scenes, candid for you.
Speaker B:You all was not coming back.
Speaker B:He was terrible.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:That's candid.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:It's not a lie.
Speaker B:That's your perspective, right?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:But it's candid.
Speaker B:You're being honest.
Speaker B:I like that shirt.
Speaker B:Somebody else must say, I don't like the shirt.
Speaker B:They're not being dishonest, but the fact is it's a shirt.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:So that's the difference between being candid and being honest.
Speaker B:So when I talk to these people, I'd be like, hey, can we be candid?
Speaker B:That's how you grow.
Speaker B:I want to be candid with you.
Speaker B:So hopefully that helps.
Speaker B:You have to give them the truth.
Speaker B:They may not ever forgive you.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Forgiveness is not based on the other person.
Speaker B:We Know it is for you.
Speaker B:But I think the other part in teaching forgiveness is.
Speaker B:And I think people miss this.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And I'll get off my soapbox.
Speaker B:And that's.
Speaker B:Somebody can be in a different place geographically, they could be in a different place mentally, or they could be no longer on this planet, no longer with us anymore.
Speaker B:So forgiveness isn't based on that person.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:You want them to, but if they don't, you move forward and become a better person for other people, including yourself.
Speaker A:Yeah, potentially.
Speaker A:I also, I've, I've, I've recognized the power in asking somebody to.
Speaker A:Oh, I think you're.
Speaker A:You are trying to communicate or interact with an old version of who I was, especially if time has passed.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And I'm.
Speaker A:I'm happy to reintroduce myself.
Speaker B:Who do you think you are?
Speaker B:I see that person start trouble.
Speaker B:You know what I remember, because people love to throw it in your face when you change.
Speaker B:Right, Right.
Speaker A:Like, but that didn't happen today.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like, I also do believe it's bringing things into the present moment that just don't need to be and, and to be.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Maybe possibly ask for permission to say, hey, can we.
Speaker A:Can you meet who I am on today and.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So I have to ask.
Speaker A:I should have asked right from the beginning because I know you teach this class and generally I will be honest with you.
Speaker A:And I don't know.
Speaker A:Let me ask you after this.
Speaker A:I have so many questions that are coming up, but like, men and women often perceive differently in terms of their ability to be emotionally aware and okay, men.
Speaker A:Society will say that men tend to lag on this.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:But here I'm talking to an individual who not only loves this topic, but teaches on it.
Speaker A:And so where does that.
Speaker A:What was that born from.
Speaker B:Being that?
Speaker B:Like, what happened?
Speaker A:Like, why are you the unicorn?
Speaker A:Why are you the unicorn?
Speaker B:I'm glad that you say societally that happened because statistically I'm not too sure.
Speaker B:But anyway, so to answer directly, I think.
Speaker B:Well, rather I know it comes from my parents.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:We're all with a tight niche group.
Speaker B:Both my parents are pastors.
Speaker B:Definitely came from.
Speaker B:That had a strong grounding.
Speaker B:And I saw how my dad and mom approached people in particular.
Speaker B:So I'll share this.
Speaker B:I remember between 15, 17, maybe a little younger.
Speaker B:My parents are the real deal.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:They're one of the few people who served that I think, and I'm biased, obviously, are the real deal.
Speaker B:They used to serve the homeless community, which I still do.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:They would.
Speaker B:We had homeless People staying with us, right?
Speaker B:And I remember, like, hey, man, if you don't get these people out of my house, you know, I'm.
Speaker B:I'm young.
Speaker B:I'm a teenager.
Speaker B:Like, I don't like going back to these stories and approaching them like the marlin I am now.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:I was a teenage kid, like, hey, get out my room, man.
Speaker B:I just want to play games and hang out.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:But I saw them do that, and it's been ingrained in me ever since.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:It's several other examples, but they are fantastic.
Speaker A:Helping people, seeing everybody helping people.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:So I saw the emotional intelligence there.
Speaker B:I didn't have a name for it.
Speaker B:I didn't know what it was, but I knew.
Speaker B:I said, I want that.
Speaker B:I see my mother speaking in church.
Speaker B:I love her cadence.
Speaker B:I loved her voice, how she addressed certain things, how she addressed certain topics and broke them down.
Speaker B:And she would still, to this day, she doesn't believe that it was that impactful or she had the intelligence for it.
Speaker B:I'm like, mom, you are killing me.
Speaker B:I'm telling you, look at what your son has done and look at what I'm doing due to you.
Speaker B:So it's been great.
Speaker B:So that's.
Speaker B:That's where it was going from.
Speaker B:So how did you.
Speaker A:At what point did it become sort of the thing that you wanted to.
Speaker A:To do, like, on a professional level, you know, evolved?
Speaker B:Because my background is in sales.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:I love sales, and basically I teach on the psychology, which requires a lot.
Speaker A:Of emotional intelligence, but anyway.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker B:So it came from sales, and I was.
Speaker B:I was in charge of.
Speaker B:I was a sales leader, but at the same time, I taught the core story for the organization, and I also taught the sales team.
Speaker B:So in doing that, I just gravitated toward it, and I loved it.
Speaker B:So that's when it really clicked in my sales days.
Speaker B:And I said I could do something with this.
Speaker B:And so I ventured out on my own, started my own company, Marlon Mentors, and I teach at William Patterson University.
Speaker B:So it was born from that.
Speaker B:And then my sales days, I really developed that stickiness.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:And so I know you said, statistically, you don't know if it's men or women are easier, but in the work that you do, in the real.
Speaker A:In, you know, the people that you teach and have communicated with, do you feel there is a difference between men and women?
Speaker A:And.
Speaker B:Are you setting me up?
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:Why would you think that?
Speaker A:No, no, I'm not.
Speaker A:No, I'm not.
Speaker A:I'm generally trying to understand, like, yeah, do you believe there are gender differences to how we women or men approach or willing to allow us.
Speaker A:Because I think emotional intelligence does require a little bit of vulnerability.
Speaker A:It is a, it is an inward.
Speaker B:Look itself, a lot of that.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And I, and it's not lost on me that one of the steps that you said is other assessment.
Speaker A:I think of the three things that you talked about, self assessment, other assessment and testing.
Speaker A:Other assessment is the, is a hard one.
Speaker A:Asking somebody else.
Speaker B:Yeah, 360 assessments.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:To you to say, hey, tell me a bit about myself.
Speaker A:And I'm not, you know, and I'm not going to judge it.
Speaker A:I'm not.
Speaker A:Come on.
Speaker A:So in that kind of scenario, who's bet who, who does that more easily in your, in your work?
Speaker B:All right, all right.
Speaker B:So it's, it's, it's funny because who I work with, it's, it's, it's on a corporate scale.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:I work with a lot of pharmaceutical companies, a lot of health insurance companies.
Speaker B:So from that perspective, it's pretty even.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:Statistically I would say more women because there's more women in the health care space.
Speaker B:Yes, number wise.
Speaker B:But in the classes that I teach, I would say it's pretty, it's been pretty even.
Speaker B:Now there are some, you know, archaic thinking in there.
Speaker B:I would say probably some more to your point.
Speaker B:There is, but once you get past that, they're pretty open.
Speaker B:Once they figure out who they are in that moment, like they don't, you know, you don't know everything.
Speaker B:But when they figured out like, oh, that does make sense, and then they take it home, I'm going to try this on my wife.
Speaker B:And I'm like, hey, hey, don't misuse it.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:But they, they open up.
Speaker B:So it's been pretty, pretty even.
Speaker B:But if I had to get the edge, probably you're probably right.
Speaker B:Probably more.
Speaker A:And I, and I think, and I don't know, I just think we're kind of wired that way.
Speaker A:I mean, they talk about the mask of masculinity and, and I mean, every year I run a men's health series on the month of November.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:In honor of men's health.
Speaker A:And this any other.
Speaker A:And vulnerability is often a topic.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like some men find it really easy, some men don't.
Speaker A:And a lot of it is societal norms, upbringing, the way that they were brought up.
Speaker A:I have to, I can't show my emotions.
Speaker A:I have to, have to be strong.
Speaker B:Or it's been weaponized against them when they do open up.
Speaker A:Exactly.
Speaker A:Or it's weaponized.
Speaker A:And so that does take.
Speaker A:And I'm asking more so from I'm a married to like a man as well.
Speaker A:And so I, I see how like I can, I can, I can see where I'm fine is something.
Speaker A:And it feels like there's something underneath that fine, but there isn't any words that they're able to find to more so articulate that.
Speaker A:And I work in technology, so I work with majority of men.
Speaker A:I'm a leader.
Speaker A:I interview a lot of men.
Speaker A:And one of my opening questions is, tell me a bit about yourself.
Speaker A:I find women a lot easier to talk about who they are as a human being versus what they do.
Speaker A:Men tend to always go with what they do.
Speaker A:And when I ask them, can you tell me a little bit more about who you are?
Speaker A:They stumble.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:They're like, well, what do you.
Speaker A:What exactly do you mean?
Speaker A:Like, if.
Speaker B:What do you mean?
Speaker B:Right, right.
Speaker A:Like, do I have kids with Dwight?
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And they can't, they can't stay on that topic long enough.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So I, so I asked from a real place, as somebody who works with a lot of men, is how do I. Yeah.
Speaker A:Because I work.
Speaker A:The more human connection you can make, I think the better workplaces and world at large is.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:But I think sometimes the human part is different, particularly for men.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Sometimes we would say, I'll give you a quick example.
Speaker B:I'm fine.
Speaker B:And your wife or significant other may blame.
Speaker B:Are you.
Speaker B:And he means it like, no, I'm fine.
Speaker B:But I feel like if this happened here, because you're putting what you feel and what you think in there, which is, you know, we consider it.
Speaker B:But you're asking him, and he's typically like, I'm telling you, I am fine.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And it goes back to like, take colors, for example, like a blue.
Speaker B:A blue is more of a technical person.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Engineer that field.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:By and large.
Speaker B:And they're pretty much blunt, they're direct.
Speaker B:And their slogan is, you know, don't beat around the bush.
Speaker B:I'm smart.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:That's the slogan.
Speaker B:And it's like they're just methodical.
Speaker B:And some people read that as, ah, you need to open up or loosen up like I am.
Speaker B:You're insulting me.
Speaker B:This is who I am.
Speaker B:So I think sometimes we miss that and trying to overcompensate.
Speaker B:Sometimes that person is just like, hey, this is me.
Speaker B:Like, when I introduce myself, typically to your point, I don't say, I'm Marlon Addison.
Speaker B:We get to that.
Speaker B:But I tell them, I'm A dad.
Speaker B:That's a part of who I am, right?
Speaker B:It's a big part.
Speaker B:I'm a son, I'm a brother, right?
Speaker B:And we get to that.
Speaker B:And I teach on emotional intelligence.
Speaker B:And by the way, my name is Mark, right?
Speaker B:So I, I get it, I get it.
Speaker B:But sometimes we.
Speaker B:If you give them enough space, either they open up the way they want to, or they've already opened up and we've missed it.
Speaker B:Like, I don't want you to open up like this.
Speaker B:Open up like this.
Speaker A:You have a.
Speaker B:You have a male.
Speaker A:You have a male crew.
Speaker A:Like, do you guys have.
Speaker B:Like, I do.
Speaker A:And how do you guys interact?
Speaker A:Like you.
Speaker A:No, this guy's.
Speaker A:You interact on the deep.
Speaker A:Like, do you guys get deep into your emotions and.
Speaker A:Well, I think it's important, especially now with, with, like, this industry, like this world is.
Speaker A:With all the geopolitical craziness that's going on, people losing jobs, it's a.
Speaker B:It's a lot going on.
Speaker B:Yeah, I check on them for real.
Speaker B:So I have, you know, my.
Speaker B:Call it the NFA Group, right.
Speaker B:And it's short for no loud.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So these, these are, these are my guys.
Speaker B:And we kick it, you know, typical cats talk about sports, dating, life and things of that nature.
Speaker B:But I, you know, I'm in there, I'll let them know, hey, man, I think that was wrong.
Speaker B:I don't check you on that.
Speaker B:I'm gonna call you out individually and we'll talk.
Speaker B:Or I like, hey, man, I.
Speaker B:Something's going on.
Speaker B:Let me highlight you on the side, right?
Speaker B:So it's not like, so frameworked and formatted is that we've been together so long and we know each other well.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:But at the same time, it's that old adage, right?
Speaker B:Check on your strong friends.
Speaker B:So I check on them.
Speaker B:Like, seriously check on them to the point of like, Molly, hey, this your fourth time?
Speaker B:I'm all right.
Speaker B:All right, cool.
Speaker B:I'm good now.
Speaker B:I'm good.
Speaker B:You know, I'll take that.
Speaker B:You know, you.
Speaker B:You can tell me off, but as long as you're good, right?
Speaker B:So, you know, suicide is on the rise, particularly in black men.
Speaker B:So I'm very cognizant of that.
Speaker B:I talk to my son, I talk to others.
Speaker B:You know, it's.
Speaker B:It's a way to do it.
Speaker A:Yeah, it's important.
Speaker A:So, you know, before I start to take us through rapid thrivers, question for you.
Speaker A:If someone listening today, realizing emotional intelligence might be the key to unlocking sort of their superpowers, Right.
Speaker A:Like doing that real more self work.
Speaker A:What would you encourage them to start paying attention to in themselves?
Speaker B:Oh, so just professors coming out.
Speaker B:So I teach on the Johari window, right.
Speaker B:And so the Johari window is.
Speaker B:It's a heuristic approach.
Speaker B:And heuristic simply means something that's very practical to get you the knowledge of.
Speaker B:So it's like abductive reasoning.
Speaker B:So when you think of that, I'm going to go for the Gen X and then I'm going to go for the current population.
Speaker B:So when you think of abductive reasoning and heuristic approach, think of Murder She Wrote.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:How do I solve this?
Speaker B:Think of Columbo.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:For the new wave, think of the Cross.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Cross Detective Show.
Speaker B:Alex Cross.
Speaker B:And so what I would tell them, Johari, which I love, right?
Speaker B:Two psychologists put it together.
Speaker B:It's a combination of their first name and has four box, right.
Speaker B:Open, hidden, blind and unknown.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So I tell them start there.
Speaker B:I mean, I teach on this.
Speaker B:I get a bit deeper, but I love it because certain things, like the hidden aspect, right.
Speaker B:Hidden is things that you know that somebody else doesn't know.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Maybe I speak five languages.
Speaker B:I know that, but you don't.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:That's a hidden open is something everybody knows.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Ballin like black suits, right.
Speaker B:He sees and wearing.
Speaker B:We all know that.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker B:And something that may be unknown.
Speaker B:Maybe you know, you know it, but I don't know it.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:And that means like I'm drinking coffee, but I'm slurping my coffee.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Okay, I'm sorry, that's a blind.
Speaker A:So that would come from Pete.
Speaker A:Things that you often hear people tell you.
Speaker B:Correct.
Speaker A:Okay, Correct.
Speaker B:That's the blind spot.
Speaker B:Correction.
Speaker B:I may slurp my coffee.
Speaker B:It's a blind spot.
Speaker B:I don't know it.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And then lastly would be the hidden.
Speaker B:Hidden is something that may be open,.
Speaker A:Hidden, unknown and one more.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:So I'm sorry, Hidden.
Speaker B:That was the blind spot.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:It shouldn't have been.
Speaker B:That was a blind spot.
Speaker B:So this is hidden.
Speaker B:Hidden is.
Speaker B:It may be a superpower that you haven't unlocked.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:You may see somebody, a little kid crossing the.
Speaker B:And it's a car coming and you dart out to save that kid.
Speaker B:Like I didn't know I had that in me.
Speaker B:That was hitting to everybody, to me, to you.
Speaker B:So you know, I would encourage them to start there.
Speaker A:Okay, so let me.
Speaker A:So Jahari called Johari.
Speaker A:So J A H A R I.
Speaker B:J O H A R I Johari.
Speaker B:Johari window.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:They can pull it up.
Speaker B:Johari window.
Speaker B:You got open, you got blind spot, you got hidden, and you got unknown.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker A:Something very tangible.
Speaker A:And now I get to take you through some rapid thrivers.
Speaker B:We didn't do that already.
Speaker B:I'm nervous.
Speaker A:When you think of someone who inspires you, who comes first to mind.
Speaker B:Inspires me.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Oh, my parents.
Speaker B:Easy.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Constantly.
Speaker B:Yeah, constantly.
Speaker A:They live near you.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Also, like Jersey.
Speaker A:Jersey is all family.
Speaker B:Family, Jersey.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:We're all close.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker A:We might have talked about this in B roll.
Speaker A:But let's see.
Speaker A:A daily activity that helps you with your thrive.
Speaker A:Oh, actually, it might be something else.
Speaker B:A daily activity that helps me with my thrive.
Speaker B:Oh, walking.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:I walk a lot.
Speaker A:He walks a lot.
Speaker B:I walk my dog.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Three hours a day with him and his dog.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:A book.
Speaker A:A book that's helped you with your thrive.
Speaker B:Oh, so it's so many.
Speaker B:It's so many.
Speaker B:So I like to reread.
Speaker B:Right Now I'm reading 212.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:The extra degree by Sam Parker.
Speaker B:It's short.
Speaker B:It's short.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And how you get to 211.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:But you got to get to 212 for it to reach that boiling point.
Speaker B:So I love that.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Reading that.
Speaker B:I'm reading Monday morning Leadership by Dave Cottrell.
Speaker B:These are all, like, you know, I'm a nerd at heart.
Speaker B:These are all business and emotional intelligence books.
Speaker B:So Monday morning Leadership by Dave Cattrall.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:I like that.
Speaker A:I'll.
Speaker A:I'll put them in the show notes.
Speaker A:What is an app on your phone that helps you with your thrive?
Speaker B:Oh, it's a lot.
Speaker B:But again, I'm faith driven, so the Bible app, I'm in it all the time, every day.
Speaker A:I'm gonna look for you.
Speaker B:Yeah, I'm in there.
Speaker A:I'm gonna friend you.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Watch Going through the chosen again.
Speaker B:I love it.
Speaker A:And what is a misconception, Marlon, that people have of you?
Speaker B:Of me?
Speaker B:I don't know if it may be the truth.
Speaker B:I think it depends.
Speaker B:Family setting versus work setting.
Speaker B:It's different with different people.
Speaker B:I think a misconception is people.
Speaker B:I am a bit extroverted, but they assume that that's all the time.
Speaker B:I'm actually an ambivert.
Speaker B:And you tend to, like, bubble over with people that you know, and you're more intense with them in a positive way.
Speaker B:So I think they assume that you always got to be on.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker A:And you don't need and you don't even want to.
Speaker B:Right, right.
Speaker B:And then I answer the question because they have a lot of questions, and.
Speaker A:I'm like, I love that.
Speaker A:So where do we find more of you online?
Speaker B:So I'm primarily on LinkedIn, LinkedIn and YouTube.
Speaker B:So LinkedIn is Marlin mentors or Marlon Addison a D D I s o n?
Speaker B:YouTube is Marlin mentors one the number one.
Speaker B:And you can primarily find me in those two places.
Speaker B:So that's.
Speaker B:That's really where I get my bread and butter.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:And so just like you answered, leave what question?
Speaker A:Do you want to leave a question or a place?
Speaker A:A piece of wisdom for our next guest.
Speaker B:You know what?
Speaker B:People made me think.
Speaker B:I think I'm gonna leave a question.
Speaker B:Okay, let's start trouble.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Oh, God.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:What do you think is more important?
Speaker B:Intelligence or emotional intelligence?
Speaker B:Oh, yeah, I said it.
Speaker B:EQ versus iq.
Speaker B:I said,.
Speaker A:Okay, I have an answer, but that's not my question.
Speaker B:Don't you dare.
Speaker A:And now finish this statement.
Speaker A:I'm most empowered in my skin when.
Speaker B:Oh, I'm most empowered in my skin when I'm a success.
Speaker B:And the success is doing what the creator intended you to do.
Speaker B:So I'm most empowered then.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:I love.
Speaker A:I love that you said that.
Speaker A:You know, it immediately made me think of something that Oprah said that I loved that she's living her.
Speaker A:The dream that God has for her.
Speaker B:There you go.
Speaker B:Everything else falls under that umbrella.
Speaker B:Aaron's kids.
Speaker B:It falls under that umbrella.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I'm a success if I'm doing the design of the adventure.
Speaker B:What it is.
Speaker B:He had me.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:That.
Speaker B:That's it.
Speaker A:You know, and I.
Speaker A:It's so interesting that you say that, because I didn't know.
Speaker A:I didn't know that was going to be your answer, but I knew that.
Speaker A:One of the things I want to tell you is there's a lightness about you.
Speaker A:Like, I know we met from a professionally black.
Speaker B:Right, right, right, right.
Speaker A:Space.
Speaker A:But there's just, like.
Speaker A:You make me feel taller, you know, and that comes a lot from the lightness of how you take life.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:I appreciate that.
Speaker A:And it's not.
Speaker A:There's.
Speaker A:There's nothing.
Speaker A:It's just.
Speaker A:Just the only thing that comes is uplifting from being in your vortex and.
Speaker A:And space and.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And we've never met in person or anything like that.
Speaker B:No.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker A:Yeah, man.
Speaker B:Like, we have not.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Covid meetup.
Speaker A:That's Covid Meetup.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker A:And I see you online most.
Speaker A:That's it.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And I want to let you know that.
Speaker A:That your name means something in my.
Speaker A:In my world world.
Speaker A:So thank you.
Speaker B:I appreciate that.
Speaker B:I am truly honored.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker B:And I mean that.
Speaker A:And this is no small man for anyone that can't.
Speaker A:I mean, we're talking about a 6, 7 giant that knows how to talk about his feelings and emotions and help others people figure that stuff out.
Speaker A:You are a unicorn.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:Who.
Speaker B:Dad also taught him how to box.
Speaker B:So we could go both ways, but we're good.
Speaker B:We're good.
Speaker A:You are absolutely awesome and I've enjoyed sharing energy with you and so thank you.
Speaker A:You, Marlon.
Speaker A:I. I really do.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker B:I hope the.
Speaker B:I hope the people enjoy this interview and get a lot from.
Speaker A:Yes, well, your laughter alone is very contagious.
Speaker A:So, yes.
Speaker A:And to anyone that's listening, this is Sally, where I have to say, we're out.
Speaker A:Bye bye.
Speaker A:Peace.
Speaker A:Thank you for tuning in to the Empowered in My Skin podcast.
Speaker A:If today's conversation resonated with you, please take a moment to share this episode, leave a review and subscribe so you never miss an empowering conversation.
Speaker A:And remember, empowered humans empower humans.
Speaker A:Until next time, I'm your girl and I'm out.
