Barbara Chambers: Finding your lane
The podcast episode features a profound discussion with Barbara Chambers, a transformative coach and founder of Your Deep Life Transformation, Inc. Barbara shares her insights on navigating pivotal transitions and emphasizes the critical importance of understanding and articulating one's emotions to achieve fulfillment.
She reflects on her own journey, filled with challenges and revelations, highlighting that the path to empowerment often involves confronting one's fears and embracing authenticity.
Through her experiences, Barbara underscores the necessity of remaining committed to one's own path, likening personal growth to running in one's designated lane, where shifting focus can lead to delays in progress.
This episode promises to resonate with listeners seeking clarity and inspiration in their own journeys towards empowerment and self-acceptance.
Takeaways:
- The importance of self-awareness is paramount; one must confront and understand their feelings of unfulfillment to progress.
- Barbara Chambers emphasizes that comfort can become a cage, hindering personal growth and transformation.
- Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson and Barbara Chambers advocate for authenticity in one's journey and the necessity of running one's own race.
- Emotional clarity is essential; only by identifying our true feelings can we formulate a plan for moving forward in life.
- In moments of frustration, it is crucial to reflect on what we truly desire and remain focused on our path.
- The journey of transformation is ongoing, and it requires perseverance, faith, and the willingness to embrace change.
If this episode resonates with you, then remember... SUBSCRIBE • 5-Star Rate • COMMENT • SHARE this Podcast!! 💚❤️🙌🏾🙏🏾
Book Recommendation: "Becoming" by Michelle Obama and "Long Walk to Freedom" by Nelson Mandela
Find Barbara Online:
Website: https://yourdeeplife.com/
IG - Barbara Chambers: https://www.instagram.com/iambarbarachambers/
IG - Your Deep Life: https://www.instagram.com/yourdeeplife/
Find us online: https://linktr.ee/nkechinwaforrobinson
Transcript
Great day, amazing human.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Welcome to Empowered at My Skin podcast where our mission is to help 1 billion people in this world think in more empowering ways.
Speaker A:Empowered humans empower humans.
Speaker A:So you are in the right place to become a lead domino for empowerment today.
Speaker A:My name is Nkechi Mwaho Robinson.
Speaker A:I'm not only your host, but I am a vibrant optimist obsessed to bring you empowering content with every single episode.
Speaker A:We will bring you weekly content, alternating between longer episodes with featured guests and a shorter episode called Empowering Bites, where I will be joined by my co host, Gabby Memone.
Speaker A:So if you're ready, let the show begin.
Speaker A:Great day, amazing humans.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Welcome to the next episode of Empowered of My Skin, the podcast and our guest today is a powerhouse of transformation.
Speaker A:She's the founder of your Deep Life Transformation, Inc.
Speaker A:And host of your Deep Life for Christian Women podcast, of which I have been on.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Go and check it out.
Speaker A:A soul filled space where faith meets purpose and women are empowered to prioritize themselves and embrace life's next chapter with joy, confidence, and clarity.
Speaker A:After three decades, three y'all of trailblazing and global marketing and building a successful agency of her own, she now helps women navigate pivotal transitions with grace and grit.
Speaker A:A transformational coach, a published author, and a bold advocate for redefining resilience not as a burden, but as a skill.
Speaker A:We can't wait for you to meet this vibrant force for change.
Speaker A:So without further ado, get ready for deep, soulful and energizing conversation with the unstoppable force that is Barbara Chambers.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker B:What an introduction.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker A:Everybody deserves an introduction.
Speaker A:Don't mind those people that say, oh, this person doesn't deserve.
Speaker A:No, everybody deserves an introduction.
Speaker B:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker B:Thank you so much and thank you for having me on your show today.
Speaker A:Thank you for saying I'm excited about this.
Speaker A:I am excited as well.
Speaker A:If it's anything like our interview, which I, you know, I actually said to my husband, wow, like, he listened to it and I was like, I really loved it.
Speaker A:I really, actually really, really loved it.
Speaker A:I loved how calm conversation it was.
Speaker A:It was just.
Speaker A:It was really nice.
Speaker A:Very, very memorable.
Speaker B:Yeah, it was very organic.
Speaker A:Yeah, it was really nice.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So as an opening question that I ask all my guests, what was your most empowering thought that you've had of the day so far?
Speaker B:My most empowering thought for today is now thinking about this.
Speaker B:I want to say that where I am right now is a journey.
Speaker B:It's a process to where I'm going and I cannot take side steps.
Speaker B:I've got to stay focused.
Speaker A:Mm.
Speaker B:And I was thinking about Saturday.
Speaker B:I was coming back from Markham.
Speaker B:I was on the 401.
Speaker B:There was an accident, so I decided not to go on the express, to go on the Collectors.
Speaker B:And I kept on changing lanes.
Speaker B:And every time I changed lanes, it slowed down.
Speaker B:My lane just slowed down.
Speaker B:And I was.
Speaker B:At the time, I was thinking about it, what's going on?
Speaker B:What's going on.
Speaker B:And, you know, you think about the experiences.
Speaker B:And I realized that sometimes you just got to stick on the path that you are.
Speaker B:Because when we're changing lanes, we're just delaying ourselves from moving forward, and we're going.
Speaker B:We switch and go somewhere else, and it just slows us down.
Speaker B:And which again, thinking that's going to take us back in another, right?
Speaker B:And it slows us down.
Speaker B:And what I learned was, stick to your lane, Barbara.
Speaker B:Stick to what you know, where you want to go.
Speaker B:You will get there, right?
Speaker A:The time that is needed to get.
Speaker B:In, the time that it's needed.
Speaker B:But the more you keep switching, you're delaying.
Speaker B:You're delaying yourself from getting to where you need to get to.
Speaker A:There's another.
Speaker A:I mean, I love that.
Speaker A:And I'm going to add, there's another kind of very similar analogy, because I talk a lot about run your own race.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:So when you think about sprinters that have to do, like, whatever, the 60 yard dash or the 100 yard dash, you have a lane, and what happens if you even slightly step over into somebody else's lane?
Speaker A:You're disqualified.
Speaker A:And so that's.
Speaker A:That's typically what happens when you try to run your own race with somebody else's equipment.
Speaker A:Like, you know, you can't.
Speaker A:You can't.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like, you have to not only run your own race, but you have to run it with your equipment, what you're equipped with, you know?
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And it's okay to grow.
Speaker A:It's okay to look at somebody else's equipment and say, hey, that might be.
Speaker A:That might work with my toolkit, or it will add to my toolkit.
Speaker A:But sometimes I think we could look at what somebody else has and try to mimic it or add it.
Speaker A:And we're detracting.
Speaker A:We're disqualifying ourselves from time and energy and effort, and we're finite human beings.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Anyway.
Speaker B:And then it's not coming from a place of authenticity.
Speaker A:Right, right, right.
Speaker B:You're now trying to mimic and be someone else, and it's not who you are.
Speaker B:So it's actually causing more stress and more delay.
Speaker B:As you said, you can't carry the weight of somebody else's journey.
Speaker B:You've got to just be your authentic self on that road.
Speaker A:That's right.
Speaker A:And you have to figure out your equipment that's needed to run your own race.
Speaker A:Yeah, well, thank you for sharing that.
Speaker A:So, girl, we're gonna go in a little bit and like, sort of pick your brain and experience.
Speaker A:And first of all, don't get it twisted.
Speaker A:This woman we're looking at has, like.
Speaker A:It's not just 25 years of experience that she has.
Speaker A:Just don't get that face.
Speaker A:That face has.
Speaker A:She has experience, so don't get it.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah, there's a number of years added to this face.
Speaker A:So let's talk about unfulfillment.
Speaker A:And generally, in your experience, experience why and.
Speaker A:Well, I guess the focus could be on women, but just humans in general, but feeling deeply unfulfilled, but doesn't yet know what's missing.
Speaker A:You know, what's the very first question that they need to pause and like, in your experience and ask themselves?
Speaker B:I think, first of all, you've got to ask yourself.
Speaker B:I think you need to ask yourself, why am I feeling this way?
Speaker B:You've got to understand the root of where it's coming from.
Speaker B:You're not feeling fulfilled, you're not sure why you're not fulfilled.
Speaker B:But what are you actually feeling if you're not sure about what you're feeling?
Speaker B:And I think that's where people need to become aware of, in touch with their emotions and getting a sense of, what is this feeling?
Speaker B:I know I'm unsatisfied, but I don't know exactly how to articulate what that means.
Speaker B:So, okay, let's talk about what you're feeling.
Speaker B:And some people are feeling frustrated, they're feeling angry, they're disappointed.
Speaker B:Unmet expectations, for example.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And this is where sometimes the fulfillment of I want it to be this, but I ended up as that, or I thought I would be here by now, but I'm still doing the same thing I was doing 10, 20 years ago.
Speaker B:So it's what am I feeling?
Speaker B:So we can deal with the feeling so that we can then deal with the root to get you over the feeling.
Speaker B:Because if you're stuck in your emotions, we need to get you through the emotional side of it so you can now think rationally and begin to put a plan and action in place so you can move forward.
Speaker A:So I started there because.
Speaker A:And now I'm going to ask you to take us through what got you to be able to express that and help others deal with their feelings.
Speaker A:Because I truly do believe that what I was going to draw out from you was probably more of.
Speaker A:From a place where you came from.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:More than happy to share my story.
Speaker B:Where do I start?
Speaker B:I don't want to go too far back because there's a lot of years.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:But I think for me, my journey of transformation really started when I turned about my late 20s.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:But it.
Speaker B:And it started because I was just angry all the time.
Speaker B:And I was sharing a place with two other women, and one was a counselor, the other was a registered nurse.
Speaker B:And then there's me.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And at the time, I was very stuck in my life.
Speaker B:I felt like I was just going through the motions of living and existing.
Speaker A:And if you don't mind me asking, because your accent is very obvious, Was that here in Canada or was that.
Speaker B:No, it was.
Speaker B:It was still.
Speaker B:I was still living in the uk.
Speaker B:I did not move to Canada.
Speaker B:I mean, I think I moved to Canada probably about 14.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:So I want to contact.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:Many years.
Speaker B:Many years before I moved to Canada.
Speaker B:And I was just angry all the time.
Speaker B:And it came.
Speaker B:It was.
Speaker B:It just came out in these bursts of moments, right?
Speaker B:And one day, one of the girls said to me, what is wrong with you?
Speaker B:What do you mean, what's wrong with me?
Speaker B:She goes, you're always angry.
Speaker B:And I went, no, I'm not angry.
Speaker B:She goes, yes, you are.
Speaker B:Now, I didn't see it at the time.
Speaker B:I didn't even recognize it.
Speaker B:I just thought I was just being myself.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:But she said, you're always angry.
Speaker B:Why are you angry?
Speaker B:And I was like, I don't know.
Speaker B:I don't know if I'm angry.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker B:And I kind of brushed it off, but it stuck with me.
Speaker B:And I began to then watch myself because I wanted to see what she was seeing in me, because I wasn't seeing it.
Speaker B:I didn't realize I was so angry.
Speaker B:And then I began to notice, oh, my God, Barbara, why are you talking to that person like that?
Speaker B:Now, you won't believe I'm a completely different woman today, Right?
Speaker B:So I'm a lot more calm, a lot more rational.
Speaker B:Thank you, Lord.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:But back then, I was all mouth and, you know, a bit of a.
Speaker B:I'm in there.
Speaker B:And so I went back to her and I said, you know what?
Speaker B:I thought about what you said.
Speaker B:I've noticed what you were saying, you're right, I am angry, and I don't know why.
Speaker B:She goes, have you ever thought about going into counseling?
Speaker B:I said, I'm not mad.
Speaker B:I'm not crazy.
Speaker B:She goes, no.
Speaker B:BARBARA and again, beliefs.
Speaker B:We think that going to seek help from someone means that there's something mentally deranged about us, and it's not.
Speaker B:And she suggested that I speak to a counselor.
Speaker B:She referred me to a friend of hers.
Speaker B:And I started this process, and I realized that rejection, abandonment, bad choices, guilt, shame were some of the root of my frustrations and anger.
Speaker B:And I had to then work through and process all of that.
Speaker B:One of the things that I learned was that sometimes a situation can happen in our life and we can make a monument of that crisis or that traumatic experience or that experience that we went through.
Speaker B:And so every time we fail or every time something happens, we look back and that's the monument we see.
Speaker B:And it's the thing that is the eyesore of our path that reminds us again and again that I am a failure, I am worthless, and there's nothing good about me.
Speaker B:And, you know, and so we get frustrated because we don't know how to move ourselves on.
Speaker A:Well, that's that life that I asked you about.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:And I had to basically tear down this monument because this past experience does not define who I am and where I want to go.
Speaker B:And so I had to redefine myself and I had to decide what I wanted for my life.
Speaker B:I remember one time watching an Oprah Winfrey show, and Oprah said something, she said, if you don't know what you want by the time you're 30, by the time you're 40, you get to 40 and 50, you're going to be living the same life.
Speaker B:And that scared the living daylights out of me, right?
Speaker B:And I'm like, I need to change my life.
Speaker B:And so going to see a counselor, making new decisions.
Speaker B:I went back to school at the age of 30 and took my degree, started my degree at 30.
Speaker B:I didn't do the conventional thing.
Speaker B:I didn't come from that sort of, you know, perfect 2.5 family.
Speaker B:You know, it was dysfunction, welfare, social housing and craziness, right?
Speaker B:But through faith, finding faith, finding God, support of friends, good friends, like these two ladies that I shared this place with who helped me at that time.
Speaker B:It really did catalyst, or help me to catalyst forward into this new direction.
Speaker B:And that's where the journey began.
Speaker B:I'm not saying it was perfect, but it certainly did make a difference when I Started going back.
Speaker B:When I went back to school, it.
Speaker A:Effectively started that your rate, your lane.
Speaker B:Absolutely, I started in my lane.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And I'll be honest, that was the most pivotal changing point for me because I then got into a new career.
Speaker B:That's where I started my marketing career after I finished my college.
Speaker B:I'd worked with a couple of agencies during that time while I was taking my degree.
Speaker B:I then started my own business, starting my own business.
Speaker B:Just catalyst me again into a whole new direction that allowed me to just grow and build my credibility and, and just meet new people across the uk and then it expanded into the US and into the Caribbean, into Africa.
Speaker B:And so I'm now working internationally.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And, and then another major incident happened and I then had to make another decision.
Speaker B:And that's when I realized I wanted to take a pause on my social personal life.
Speaker B:And that's when I decided to go even deeper.
Speaker B:And at the end of that term, I made a decision.
Speaker B:I just turned 40 and I made the decision that I want you to leave England and I want you to come to Canada.
Speaker B:And I knew coming to Canada meant starting again, but I really do believe in the law of environment.
Speaker B:And the law of environment is sometimes where you are, you need to move from where you are to get to.
Speaker B:On the direction to fulfill purpose.
Speaker A:That's right.
Speaker B:And while I was living a great life and, and, and flexing and doing all the wonderful things, I felt something was still missing and I wanted to do more with my life.
Speaker B:And I knew I couldn't do it in England.
Speaker B:And you know, I don't know if you've ever been to London or if you've been to England, the very small countries.
Speaker B:I mean, Ontario is bigger than the uk, right, as a province.
Speaker B:And so I just felt restricted.
Speaker B:And coming to Canada on vacation, I just felt like I had space.
Speaker B:I felt like I could expand, I could grow, I could become more than what I was in the uk.
Speaker B:And so I moved, I came, came on vacation, went back home, put an application in, and three years later they gave me a visa here I am permanent resident, I'm in Canada, right?
Speaker B:And I'm doing this totally on my own.
Speaker B:I didn't come with family, I didn't come with a partner, I don't have children.
Speaker B:This was me doing this totally on my own.
Speaker B:So very brave move, very courageous move.
Speaker B:But I knew what I wanted to do and I just firmly believed nothing is impossible.
Speaker A:So, I mean, a lot of what you just have described or talked us through could not have been Voided without fear, right?
Speaker A:So how do you differentiate between fear that is holding us back versus fear that is signaling a space of growth?
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:I think I had to work through what were my fears.
Speaker B:And it took me a long time to get there.
Speaker B:And I realized one of my fears were my fears.
Speaker B:Personal fears were things like fear of people, of fear of people's opinion, right?
Speaker B:Was my number one fear.
Speaker B:I felt like I needed to live up to other people's expectations of me.
Speaker B:So a lot of my decisions were based on that fear if I did something.
Speaker B:And that's why I talked about guilt and shame, because I internally was feeling shame about some of the decisions I was making.
Speaker B:But I'm making the decisions because I don't want people to see me in a certain way or I don't want them to judge me in a certain way.
Speaker B:And so I had to learn that, or I've come to learn, I should say, people's opinions are just that, their opinions.
Speaker B:And the most important opinion that matters is my own.
Speaker B:Took me a long time to get to that place, right?
Speaker B:And once I got over people's opinions, and a lot of that was when I came to Canada, believe it or not, right?
Speaker B:Because people here just kept us, no, you can't do this and you can't do that, and you can't do this, and this won't happen for you.
Speaker B:I'm like, shut up already, please.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:Seriously, Come on, Debbie.
Speaker B:Doubter or what, right?
Speaker B:I'm like, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Speaker B:Nothing is impossible with God, so I can do it, right?
Speaker B:And so me telling myself what I can do because my opinion is the most important opinion, right?
Speaker B:Allowed me to achieve so much more.
Speaker B:And I think you've got to get to a place where you fully understand and know what your personal fears are versus being driven to do something.
Speaker B:You're doing it fearfully scared, but excited and courageously at the same time, right?
Speaker B:So that's.
Speaker B:That's the set two types of fears that you're talking about.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:But you have to understand, what are your fears?
Speaker B:One of my other fears I discovered was procrastination.
Speaker A:I'm laughing because we talked about it at another event around.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker A:And just the.
Speaker A:The audacity or arrogance that we have that we think we have more time, right?
Speaker B:But anyway, we don't have more time.
Speaker B:But procrastination was another one of my fears, right?
Speaker B:And now it wasn't about people's opinions.
Speaker B:It's just about, can I do this?
Speaker B:Can I really.
Speaker B:It's now my own.
Speaker B:Do I have the skill?
Speaker B:Do I have the capacity?
Speaker B:Do I have the capability to do this?
Speaker B:If I did it, what people are going to think about it.
Speaker B:And then it goes back to.
Speaker B:I'm like, come on, Barbara, stop it.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:I had to tell my.
Speaker B:Just do it.
Speaker B:Well, I had to tell myself what's on the other side of that fear, Right.
Speaker B:If you did this, what would happen?
Speaker B:So now let's not look at it from the negative.
Speaker B:Let's look at it from a positive.
Speaker A:What could happen?
Speaker A:What's the best that could happen?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:What's the best that could happen if you did this?
Speaker B:And once I rationalize that in my head, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna do this.
Speaker B:I'm moving forward.
Speaker B:And now procrastination is kicked out the door completely.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And now I'm moving in the direction that I need to go in.
Speaker B:And I think every time you procrastinate or feel that you can't ask yourself the question.
Speaker A:Yeah, why are you holding.
Speaker B:What's the best thing that would happen if I went.
Speaker B:If I just tried?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So with all of that, when did you start to hone in on what you truly do believe is the value that you could bring in this advocacy that you've.
Speaker A:You.
Speaker A:You know, and how.
Speaker A:How.
Speaker A:How did that then lead to your deep life?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B: ne, and we had reconnected in: Speaker B:It wasn't going to happen.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:And I had to make a very.
Speaker B:I had to make a decision.
Speaker B:Whilst I love this person, I was in love with this person.
Speaker B:I envisioned myself getting old with this person.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:I realized that I was not as much a prior priority in his life as he was in mine.
Speaker B:And we were both on two very different pages.
Speaker B:And I had to say, no, I can't do this with you anymore.
Speaker B:And I walked away.
Speaker B:And that started another journey.
Speaker B:And now it's a journey of healing my emotions and rediscovering who Barbara Chambers is without this person in her life.
Speaker B:And what did I really want to do in life?
Speaker B:Coming to Canada, I discovered that people naturally felt comfortable talking to me, and, I mean, talking some serious stuff about.
Speaker A:Their lives to me.
Speaker B:And at first I'm like, why are they telling me their stuff like this?
Speaker A:Why are they talking to me?
Speaker B:I'm like, what is it about me?
Speaker B:Why people feel they can just come and tell Me all their business.
Speaker B:Like some deep stuff that they've never shared with anyone before.
Speaker B:I mean, people just felt comfortable.
Speaker B:And I'm not talking about people I know.
Speaker B:I'm talking about meeting people maybe for one or two times, and then they're sharing.
Speaker B:And I realized there was this.
Speaker B:Just this trust that people felt from me.
Speaker B:And I am very much.
Speaker B:I love being my authentic self.
Speaker B:I think I am just me wherever I am.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And when I'm myself, I feel people feel comfortable being themselves, too.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:And so I discovered that there was something about me that drew people.
Speaker A:Mm.
Speaker B:And I wanted to explore what this could be.
Speaker B:And I remember going to Phoenix, Arizona, for a week to a leadership training program with the Arrow Group.
Speaker B:They're a Christian leadership program.
Speaker B:And during that week away in Phoenix, I realized that I love marketing.
Speaker B:I love doing what I do, but I really felt the core to making a difference in other people's lives.
Speaker A:Beautiful.
Speaker B:And that's where the journey really began.
Speaker B:I remember talking to a good friend of mine who lives in Atlanta, and I called Mark and I said, mark, I'm thinking about becoming a life coach.
Speaker B:What do you think?
Speaker B:He gave me some advice, and that's where I started my journey and started coaching people.
Speaker B:Not really sure about what I was doing, but trusting the process and trusting what I innately knew.
Speaker B:And then once I got trained and got the.
Speaker B:Got certified, you just arrest.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:The rest is history.
Speaker A:So let's talk about that, because then that.
Speaker A:Even so that's a journey.
Speaker A:I love how you keep, you know, marking the various journeys.
Speaker A:So what's one belief that you.
Speaker A:You can say that you held sort of about transformation that has.
Speaker A:That your experience as a life coach maybe has altered or changed, if there is one.
Speaker A:And then maybe just marry a little bit about your faith and.
Speaker A:And how that ignited sort of the.
Speaker A:The manner in which you help others.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I think life.
Speaker B:I keep talking about journey.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Life is a journey.
Speaker B:And life is difficult.
Speaker B:No matter how you want to spin life, life is just difficult.
Speaker B:And there will be great moments, and there's going to be some really bad moments, and there's going to be some moments when it's not too bad, but it could be a bit better.
Speaker B:How you show up in every moment of your journey determines how you move forward in life.
Speaker B:It's your responses.
Speaker B:And I realized that in the past, I was just immature.
Speaker B:I never had the mentors or the teachers or the.
Speaker B:The guidance.
Speaker B:I was.
Speaker B:I was literally doing life alone.
Speaker B:And so I was trying to figure it out until someone said, you need help and don't be afraid to seek help.
Speaker B:Trust the people that God brings into your life and understand that some people are here for a moment, some people are for a season and some are for a lifetime.
Speaker A:And you never know.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker A:Right, yeah.
Speaker B:You just.
Speaker B:I mean, I do have a friend who I've known for over 50 years and we are still close to this very day.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:We see each other every year where it's possible.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:But understand that life is all about transitions and journey.
Speaker A:That's right.
Speaker B:And we can't stay in one place forever.
Speaker B:I read something a couple of weeks ago last.
Speaker B:The week before last, and it was on LinkedIn and it was a barrister from the UK and he wrote about comfort.
Speaker B:And he said the worst thing to fear is comfort.
Speaker B:Because when we stay in comfort for too long, it becomes a cage.
Speaker B:And I was like, oh, I never thought about that before.
Speaker B:Because we can get so comfortable in doing what we're doing.
Speaker A:Is it the worst fear or that we should fear comfort?
Speaker B:We should fear comfort.
Speaker A:Yeah, okay.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Because worse than fear, being afraid of something, we can push fear.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:But when we're comfortable in something and we're sitting in that comfort.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:You never move forward.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:And then the comfort becomes the cage that we can no longer get out of.
Speaker B:We can't get past it.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And that for me, just spoke so much volume because I realized that I can always push through, but if I stay comfortable, I'll never grow into becoming, into fulfilling my purpose.
Speaker B:And that's the most important thing.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:What was your second question again?
Speaker A:It was about your faith and it's about how you.
Speaker A:How.
Speaker A:How did I put it?
Speaker A:Like, how's it?
Speaker A:Has your faith ignited sort of your approach to transformation and who you are today?
Speaker B:Oh, absolutely.
Speaker B:I think for me personally, my faith has been the thing that has grounded me.
Speaker B:It's kept.
Speaker B:It's kept me humble.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:And it has allowed me.
Speaker B:Seriously, it truly did.
Speaker B:Because I'm telling you, the road I was going down, I don't think I would be here today, in all honesty, I will tell you this.
Speaker B:I'm not afraid or ashamed to say it, but in my 20s, I tried to commit suicide, you know, and thankfully I was found.
Speaker B:I was rushed to hospital and I was saved.
Speaker B:Ended up in a psychiatric ward and my mum come into the hospital and telling me, girl, you better get yourself out of here.
Speaker B:Just check yourself out.
Speaker B:Don't let them give you any medication or find you up for anything.
Speaker B:Check yourself out and I took my mom's advice and that was like what I did.
Speaker B:And my life was never the same after that.
Speaker B:I had to make some serious decisions.
Speaker B:And I think if it wasn't for me coming to Christ in my late 20s, I don't think I would have been in the house with the two ladies that really helped me.
Speaker B:I don't think I would have overcome some of the hurdles.
Speaker B:I don't think I would have ever started my business.
Speaker B:I don't think I would have ever come to Canada.
Speaker B:I don't think I even would have had the faith or the courage to break or end that relationship.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:But everything so far in my life, I felt like I was being guided.
Speaker A:Yeah, I was gonna say God's a funny God, that the path might have been different, but if God wanted you where you are on today, he would have gone you there.
Speaker B:I would have got here something.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:But I still feel we still.
Speaker B:God gives us the gift of choice.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah, yeah, right.
Speaker B:So we can still choose.
Speaker B:There is a path for us, but we can still choose the path that we want to go down.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:But God owns the reroute.
Speaker A:Like, I do think God reroutes.
Speaker A:He reroutes.
Speaker B:Oh, I think, you know, I don't know about the.
Speaker B:I think God will put us in a situation where we can choose to reroute.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:You are right.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:That's what I think God will do.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:But at the end of the day, it's always our goal.
Speaker A:So the way I went reroute is like, okay, God's like knocking, knocking, like trying to get you down this lane and you kind of.
Speaker A:You make this non Godly decision down over here.
Speaker A:And he's like, oh, Lord Jesus, okay, I gotta reroute the route.
Speaker A:Like now I gotta knock here so that to figure out how to get her back.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker B:So that's what I'm saying.
Speaker B:God will reroute you on your lane.
Speaker B:Remember, stay on your lane.
Speaker B:Don't keep shifting, shifting, shifting.
Speaker A:That's what I mean, that God will reroute in some shape or fashion that says la Jesus.
Speaker A:Like, let me just gotta figure out.
Speaker A:Let me just figure this remap.
Speaker A:Remap, you know.
Speaker B:Listen, God, if it wasn't for my faith, I don't think I'd be here today.
Speaker B:I find that my prayer, my meditation, I will always get these drops of whispers of just advice, guidance.
Speaker B:I'll hear something called get an impression on something.
Speaker B:During those quiet moments, I'm like, okay, God, I hear you.
Speaker A:Yeah, right.
Speaker B:And I Feel like I'm being directed.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:I think you shared something really profound that I'm hoping listeners caught.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like when people start to think about like purpose.
Speaker A:Like I always say, purpose is in you.
Speaker A:It's not something that you have to go and find.
Speaker A:I truly do believe it's something that you, you allow to come forward.
Speaker A:And it could be so many different things.
Speaker A:And, and so one of the things I heard that I'm hoping others did was that you just, you started to recognize what people reach out to you for a lot.
Speaker A:And that may never have been the track, the tr.
Speaker A:Like the thought that you ever had as to where your life was going to go.
Speaker A:But suddenly it's like, why are random crazy people telling me everything about their life?
Speaker B:Like, well, listen, awareness is, is key.
Speaker B:Being aware of yourself, being aware of what's happening around you is going to be key to starting this journey.
Speaker B:And I think when we become aware of.
Speaker B:Hold on, why is that happening?
Speaker B:Or why is.
Speaker B:I'm seeing this show up in so many different places.
Speaker B:I go here, this person talks to me.
Speaker B:I'm in the hairdressers and people start talking to me and people want my number and to talk to me.
Speaker B:Even today, randomly, you know, I'm part of the prayer group and one of the ladies on the prayer group reached out to me and said, hi, Barbara, can you pray for me?
Speaker B:And I'm like, I don't even know.
Speaker A:You, but I can see that so totally, like based on how I've met you.
Speaker B:But then I realized that there was, there's something.
Speaker B:She felt safe.
Speaker B:She felt safe that she could pick up the phone and call me directly and have a very candid conversation about her life.
Speaker B:And, and that's okay because God, whatever you want me to say in that moment, that's going to encourage this woman to make a step forward to living her best life, then I'm open.
Speaker B:I'm up for it.
Speaker A:Yeah, I think your accent also helps on that.
Speaker A:I think your accent's material.
Speaker A:Just saying.
Speaker B:I don't think the accent has anything to do with.
Speaker A:I think, I think there's some.
Speaker A:I think there's got.
Speaker A:And the accent.
Speaker A:But anyway, so I have to take you through some rapid thrivers.
Speaker A:And when you think of someone who inspires you, who comes first to mind.
Speaker B:I think I.
Speaker B:When I think of someone who inspires me, who comes to mind, I want to say, I'm going to say Nelson.
Speaker A:Mandela, I just spoke today.
Speaker B:I just, just, you know, I remember the first time I read his book his autobiography.
Speaker B:I was so inspired.
Speaker B:I went to South Africa after reading that book.
Speaker A:Okay, well, there you go.
Speaker A:That's inspiration.
Speaker A:There you go.
Speaker B:But I was so inspired by his life and that challenges and hurdles will come, but the fight for justice always prevails.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:And righteousness will always come out when in the end, always win.
Speaker A:And his, his, his remarkable life is a masterclass for all of us.
Speaker A:As we start, all of us think about like, seriously Unforgiveness.
Speaker B:I would recommend everyone read the book.
Speaker B:Everyone should read the book and walk to freedom.
Speaker B:Everyone should read that book.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Remarkable life.
Speaker A:Remarkable life.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:What is a daily habit that helps you feel empowered or helps you with your thrive?
Speaker B:I think prayer and meditation.
Speaker B:I wake up every day, every morning, I spend time in prayer, I read my Bible and then I sit in silent meditation.
Speaker B:And a lot of people don't do that and I wish they would.
Speaker B:I think after you finish praying, you need to sit still and allow the spirit.
Speaker A:Yeah, you're right.
Speaker B:Just minister to you right after you ministering to God.
Speaker A:I've heard that a lot of times before.
Speaker A:Like you talk to God and then God's like, yo, like, can you give me a moment?
Speaker B:I'm waiting to talk back to you.
Speaker B:Give me another chance.
Speaker B:Give me a chance.
Speaker A:And I still don't.
Speaker A:I and I.
Speaker A:And it's interesting, like, so thank you.
Speaker A:Because also this weekend a doctor who studies neuroscience and I'm actually looking, I already looked it up on, on YouTube is done like a course or workshop on the science, the science of silence.
Speaker A:And I'm intrigued.
Speaker A:I actually want to, because he's also a pastor.
Speaker A:So I want to actually hear like the angle he approaches that from.
Speaker A:So if there's any.
Speaker B:Tell me about that, I would definitely.
Speaker A:Be interested in that.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker A:What is a book that has helped you with your thrive?
Speaker A:Oh.
Speaker B:Well, obviously the Bible.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:That'S the number one book.
Speaker B:But I think there's so many books that I've read, I don't think.
Speaker B:And I read a lot of books from autobiographies, from self help books, from faith led books.
Speaker B:I think there's, I wouldn't say there's any one book.
Speaker A:Well, you mentioned Nelson Mandela's book.
Speaker B:Well, Nelson Mandela's book was a fantastic read.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:But I mean like you read some, I mean reading like for example, Michelle Obama's book becoming.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:I think I read that in four or five days, that book.
Speaker B:I just could not put it down.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:I'm trying to think, gosh, there's so Many different.
Speaker A:Name three books.
Speaker B:Well, I want to say becoming.
Speaker B:I want to say definitely Nelson Mandela's book.
Speaker A:Those two have not been mentioned on the podcast in 300.
Speaker A:The Bible has nothing.
Speaker A:The Nelson Mandela book.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:And becoming.
Speaker A:I don't think it's been mentioned.
Speaker A:So we can.
Speaker A:I can add those.
Speaker B:Please do.
Speaker B:And then obviously my third book would be the Bible.
Speaker A:Yes, I.
Speaker A:Well, that.
Speaker A:Yeah, that was a number of times.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:What is an app that helps you with your thrive?
Speaker B:I love listening to Diary of the.
Speaker B:The Diary of a CEO.
Speaker B:I love that podcast.
Speaker B:Love listening to that podcast.
Speaker B:I've been listening to your podcast a lot recently.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker B:And I'm finding that very, very, very thrilling and empowering.
Speaker B:Thank you very much.
Speaker A:No problem.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker B:And then I think Simon Sinek is another podcast that I enjoy listening to.
Speaker A:Oh, God, I love him.
Speaker A:So is the, Is the app, the podcast like.
Speaker A:Is it like podcast apps?
Speaker B:I guess it's a podcast.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I'm on Spotify all the time.
Speaker A:Spotify.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker A:And what is one misconception of you, Madame Barbara, that have, as they see you, you know, holding it down as a transformation coach, but just in all of your wisdom and thought leadership that you share so, so, you know, easily with the world.
Speaker A:What's.
Speaker A:What's the misconception that people carry of you?
Speaker B:I think people look at me and they think, ah, you know, the softly spoken British woman that looks really lovely and cute.
Speaker B:But people don't know that I grew up what you would call in the projects.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:So I did not grow up soft.
Speaker B:My mother literally taught us how to use our fist and fight as a child growing up.
Speaker B:And we had to learn how to draw blood.
Speaker B:And if blood wasn't drawn, something was wrong.
Speaker B:But don't think when you look at me, the misconception people have is that I'm not tough.
Speaker B:And I am tough and I'm extremely resilient.
Speaker A:Yeah, I love that.
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker A:I've loved this time with you.
Speaker A:So where do we find more of you online?
Speaker B:Oh, well, you can find me@ww.yourdeeplife.com which is my website.
Speaker B:I'm also on Instagram at your Deep Life, and I am Barbara Chambers.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:I also have a podcast which you know of, which is called your deep life for Christian Women, and that can be found on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.
Speaker A:And I will share all of those links.
Speaker B:Thank you very much.
Speaker A:As a parting question, quite excited to hear your answer.
Speaker A:This podcast is called Empowered in my Skin and Would love to know what that means to you.
Speaker B:Empowered in my skin.
Speaker B:I want to say that loving who Barbara Chambers is in entirety, body, heart, soul and spirit, and coming to enjoy this beautiful woman that is me.
Speaker B:And I found that once I learned to love me fully and really like myself, I am empowered in every possible way.
Speaker A:Enjoy yourself, Barbara.
Speaker A:You deserve it.
Speaker A:I enjoy you.
Speaker A:I'm gonna say it again.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker A:I think that acc has, like, it's.
Speaker A:It comes at a premium.
Speaker A:I'm just gonna say it adds a little J to the.
Speaker A:To the experience.
Speaker A:I can listen.
Speaker B:So grateful for the accent.
Speaker A:I can listen to you all day.
Speaker A:I love it.
Speaker A:And wow, you have.
Speaker A:You definitely have lived a remarkable journey, and I'm so grateful to have crossed paths with you.
Speaker A:And in our B roll, we were talking about an opportunity to increase our connection.
Speaker A:And so, you know, really, really excited to share more time and space and energy with you.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And you're.
Speaker A:You're deep, but you're beautiful.
Speaker A:And you're deep and you're beautiful.
Speaker A:I didn't want to say but you're deep and you're beautiful and you are so many things.
Speaker A:And I'm grateful for you.
Speaker A:So thank you.
Speaker B:Yeah, I gotta say the same.
Speaker B:So grateful for you and so honored to be here with you.
Speaker B:And thank you.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker A:And to everyone's listening, this is sadly where I have to say, we're out.
Speaker A:Bye.
Speaker B:Bye.
Speaker A:There you have it.
Speaker A:I trust that you are feeling more empowered in your skin.
Speaker A:As the late Dr.
Speaker A:Maya Angelou said, when you get, you give, when you learn, you teach.
Speaker A:So it would mean so much for us at Empowered on My Skin, Inc.
Speaker A:If you share this episode and tag us or teach an insight that you took from today's episode on your social and tag us, feel free to leave us a review over at itunes and follow us on social media.
Speaker A:Empowered My skin.
Speaker A:Finally remember to subscribe so you never miss an episode.
