Empowering Bytes: Grace under fire
Navigating the complexities of interpersonal relationships often necessitates a nuanced understanding of how to deal with difficult individuals. In this enlightening episode, we delve into effective strategies for managing interactions with challenging personalities, a topic of paramount importance in both personal and professional realms.
One of the central tenets discussed is the imperative to refrain from taking such interactions personally, thereby preserving one’s emotional integrity and agency. Furthermore, we explore the significance of establishing clear boundaries, as they serve not only to protect our well-being but also to foster mutual respect in relationships.
Lastly, we emphasize the importance of seeking to understand rather than to win, advocating for a collaborative approach that prioritizes empathy and active listening over adversarial conflict.
Join us as we unpack these essential strategies to empower ourselves and enhance our capacity to thrive amidst challenging encounters.
Takeaways:
- In navigating difficult interactions, it is imperative to cultivate emotional detachment to maintain one's own well-being.
- Setting and upholding personal boundaries is essential for protecting one's emotional energy during challenging conversations.
- It is crucial to approach difficult discussions with a mindset geared towards understanding rather than seeking to win the argument.
- Acknowledging that others may project their issues onto you can help mitigate the impact of their negativity on your emotions.
- Effective communication requires actively listening to the other party's perspective to foster empathy and reduce conflict.
- Recognizing that not every relationship is meant to be permanent allows individuals to evaluate and reposition their connections for better emotional health.
Have an empowering story to share on an Empowering Bytes episode? Submit your request, for a chance to be a guest.
Find us online: https://linktr.ee/nkechinwaforrobinson
Transcript
Great day, amazing human.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Welcome to Empowered at My Skin podcast where our mission is to help 1 billion people in this world think in more empowering ways.
Speaker A:Empowered humans empower humans.
Speaker A:So you are in the right place to become a lead domino for Empowerment today.
Speaker A:My name is Nkechi Mwaho Robinson.
Speaker A:I'm not only your host, but I am a vibrant optimist obsessed to bring you empowering content with every single episode.
Speaker A:We will bring you weekly content, alternating between longer episodes with featured guests and a shorter episode called Empowering Bites, where I will be joined by my co host, Gabby Memone.
Speaker A:So if you're ready, let the show begin.
Speaker A:Great day, amazing humans.
Speaker A:Yippee.
Speaker A:Yippee.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:Oh, Lord Inkichi, you're so crazy.
Speaker A:Anyway, I am so awesome today and I'm not alone.
Speaker A:I'm here with an Empowering Bites episode, joined by my amazing and fabulous co host of three years now.
Speaker A:Four years.
Speaker B:Three years.
Speaker B:Four years, actually.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So, yeah, four years, I guess, right?
Speaker A:And yes.
Speaker A:Gabriella Mamoni, my girl, my friend.
Speaker A:Friend.
Speaker A:My amazing, amazing coach, sometimes therapist, sometimes we share the same love, all things Gabby.
Speaker A:One b a memo, man.
Speaker A:Love it.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Thank you, Ki.
Speaker B:Well, today we're going to tackle a topic that's maybe tough for some, but it's worth mentioning and worth discussing about.
Speaker B:Because we all deal with difficult people.
Speaker B:Whether it's a toxic coworker or a challenging family member or anyone in between.
Speaker B:We thought it would be nice if we discuss some practical strategies on how to navigate these tricky interactions.
Speaker B:So what do you say?
Speaker B:Shall we jump right in?
Speaker A:Jump right in.
Speaker A:I think it's a good one because.
Speaker A:And it's so funny because I think we'll have to give some context because for everyone, a difficult person can mean different things, right?
Speaker A:And like, and I think there's a lot of people that are really great at this.
Speaker A:So their level of difficult is, you know, different than somebody who hasn't necessarily, who's maybe not even exposed to.
Speaker A:To this or, or just has never really doubled down on how to deal with it.
Speaker A:And it's just constantly, constantly doing the best that they can.
Speaker A:And yeah, or maybe we're the difficult people.
Speaker A:But anyway, we'll give it context.
Speaker A:We'll give it context so you get it started.
Speaker B:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker B:So when you think about people, when you interact with people, you know, sometimes you get like a sinking feeling when you have to interact with someone.
Speaker B:You know, why is that?
Speaker B:That could be something about their presence or something that maybe hinders you.
Speaker B:You feel like you're unable to thrive because of that interaction.
Speaker B:And so we really, really want to discuss it because let's be real.
Speaker B:There are some people in this world that are difficult, but you don let them ruin your day.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So let's unpack some strategies and talk about some of the personalities, because we believe in thriving.
Speaker B:That's what this podcast is all about, is thriving.
Speaker A:And so we want you to flourish in all of your conversations.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker A:You know, I'm going in if I'm taking up my notebook because.
Speaker B:Yeah, right.
Speaker B:We don't need to be walking on eggshells with people.
Speaker B:I know sometimes we feel like we have to.
Speaker B:But if, you know, you dread interact, you know, this is the podcast for you because we want to help you navigate through this tricky situation of dealing with difficult people because they're here and we need to be able to manage them.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So let's first start a little bit about talking, chatting a little bit about, you know, what can you do to have confidence and deal with a difficult person?
Speaker B:How do you take back your power?
Speaker A:I'm gonna have confidence.
Speaker A:I'm gonna say maybe.
Speaker A:It's also, I'm gonna say, because I always say courage trumps confidence.
Speaker A:I think confidence is more something that people observe, more so than sometimes you feel.
Speaker A:So I don't want somebody to feel that You've got to feel com.
Speaker A:Confident going into a conversation.
Speaker A:I think you need to choose to be courageous and brave to have it and.
Speaker A:And then to.
Speaker A:And then.
Speaker A:And then hopefully the tips and the tricks that we'll share from our experience is just something.
Speaker A:And by all means, there's so many people that thought leaders that speak about this, so, you know, do some research.
Speaker A:There's a lot of great books and podcasts and articles out there about this.
Speaker A:And so I encourage everyone to.
Speaker A:To dive in, because sometimes you're the difficult person.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:But so it's all.
Speaker A:I think it's all around it.
Speaker A:It's all around framing, Right.
Speaker A:Like, something's not difficult until you frame it as difficult.
Speaker A:So, you know, maybe.
Speaker A:Maybe reframing, you know, but how about we say those challenging conversations, those conversations, like you said, that tend to, like, raise some type of physical, physiological change within us.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like, you know, what you feel it.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker B:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker B:And I also think it's important before we dive into address, that it's important to choose your battles wisely, because sometimes butting heads with a difficult person isn't the best solution here.
Speaker B:You know, it's okay sometimes if you have to Walk away and assess the relationship that you have with them.
Speaker B:Because, you know, if it's your boss or another authority figure, you know, maybe you don't need to accept certain things.
Speaker B:Or maybe you do need to accept certain things.
Speaker B:Maybe it's a family member or friend.
Speaker B:So you really want to assess each person in each situation individually and decide if it's even necessary for you to engage in that.
Speaker B:So let's first chat a little bit about three ways.
Speaker B:What are three ways that we feel that are practical of how we can handle difficult people?
Speaker B:So let's start with the first one.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:That's the first one you want me to say?
Speaker A:Yeah, of course.
Speaker A:I'm like, I took out my note.
Speaker A:I took out my notebook.
Speaker A:What's the next one?
Speaker B:Okay, cool.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker B:So the first is don't take it personally.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Sometimes people project their own issues, and we've all heard it before.
Speaker B:You need to respond, not to react.
Speaker B:We want to make sure that we stay in integrity in the face of negativity.
Speaker B:Sometimes people simply just want to vent.
Speaker B:Sometimes they just want to say their own views.
Speaker B:But the reality is it's not an attack on you.
Speaker B:So it's imperative to not take it personally.
Speaker B:And, you know, you want to take a look at it because maybe the behavior is contributing to an outside circumstance that you're not even aware of.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:So you want to be willing to acknowledge what they're saying and truly, truly listen, but not take it from a personal perspective.
Speaker B:Now, like you said at the beginning of the call, perhaps we are the difficult people.
Speaker B:Maybe we're just not seeing it from their perspective.
Speaker B:The same rule applies, is don't take it personally.
Speaker B:But truly, we need to absolutely listen in a scenario like that and truly understand where they're coming from.
Speaker B:That.
Speaker A:Yeah, I think there's something.
Speaker A:I was in a talk the other day, and it was actually.
Speaker A:We're talking about the.
Speaker A:The imposter phenomenon.
Speaker A:And you know what I feel about the imposter.
Speaker A:Anyway, Yeah, I won't say it, but.
Speaker B:That'S a different discussion.
Speaker A:And I open it up by saying that the one thing that all of us in this room, right, because it was a room, there was male, there was females.
Speaker A:And I said, the one thing that we actually all share is that we are human beings.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Like, it's.
Speaker A:Yeah, we are.
Speaker A:Regardless of what you identify with or this, any other, we are actually still all human beings.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And as a result, everything that we.
Speaker A:Everything that we are navigating this life is a human experience.
Speaker A:And so I share that because to your point about maybe where the.
Speaker A:I think going into any type of.
Speaker A:I think you will always have a better ability of project, of presenting your best self and navigating that experience if you stay in the.
Speaker A:In.
Speaker A:If you stay in that human space where you recognize that if we're all.
Speaker A:If, if just.
Speaker A:If we're all human, then.
Speaker A:Then we're all imperfect.
Speaker A:We all have best intentions for the most part.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:We all have had experiences.
Speaker A:We all have lives that we're trying to navigate.
Speaker A:And on any given day, there are different.
Speaker A:There are different things that are present that each of us are having to work through in a very personal way.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:So depersonalizing somebody else's behavior or somebody else's approach or demeanor is so important because you're not their human.
Speaker A:You are your human.
Speaker A:And so recognizing that, giving them grace, not personalizing it, not thinking that it's something that they're doing deliberately to you.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Is all, in my opinion, is more for you than it is for them because it's to keep you in the seat of your own power, not to lose power.
Speaker A:Because once you start to personalize, then essentially you're losing.
Speaker A:You're.
Speaker A:You're depleting your power, you know?
Speaker B:Right, Yeah, I agree.
Speaker B:And you are not responsible for others, other people's feelings or actions.
Speaker B:You're not.
Speaker A:That's correct.
Speaker A:That's correct.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:That's your responsibility.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Their opinions and behaviors do not define your worth.
Speaker B:And so, because if we were to take it personally, it really can lead to unnecessary stress, anxiety, self doubt.
Speaker B:It's just not necessary to use our essential energy for that.
Speaker B:Essentially, not taking it personally is about cultivating a sense of emotional detachment.
Speaker A:I agree.
Speaker A:And control.
Speaker A:And control.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's sort of dealing with what you know is within your control.
Speaker A:And within your control is you.
Speaker A:Your breathing, you know, how you're making sure that you're for.
Speaker A:And if you feel like.
Speaker A:If you feel that any of those are not possible for you in the moment, well, guess what.
Speaker A:And maybe that's where we're going into number two.
Speaker B:Yes, exactly.
Speaker A:I think number two is boundaries.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So essentially, to sum it up with don't take it personally is it's about cultivating a sense of emotional detachment.
Speaker B:So it allows you to navigate interactions with greater clarity and resilience.
Speaker B:So that's number one.
Speaker B:Don't take it for sleep.
Speaker B:Number two is setting up and upholding boundaries.
Speaker B:Okay, so we all know the importance of setting boundaries, but the reality is, is I Love the saying.
Speaker B:And it is, it is kind to be clear.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker B:It is, it's kind to be clear.
Speaker B:And so set the boundaries, be clear, be assertive, say no, don't have guilt.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:These are very, very important things.
Speaker B:Because what it will do is it will protect yourself well being.
Speaker B:And you know, boundaries are like a shield.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So it protects people from encroaching in your own personal space or sucking up your emotional energy.
Speaker B:And the reality is, I actually think it'll create more respect because they know how you expect to be treated.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:It's a foundation of mutual, mutual respect.
Speaker B:And so.
Speaker B:Yeah, like, what are your thoughts on that?
Speaker A:Yeah, I think so what I was saying, coming out of like not taking it personally, I think there also comes a time where if you recognize that you've done like, you've exercised all the techniques, you know, to not take it personally and still you're feeling that there's like way too much resistance happening in this experience, then I think that that's where you get into setting boundaries, which is, it is actually within your right to say that you are not equipped or ready or desiring to, to have that interaction or to be in this connection or this right now.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Doesn't mean forever, but for right now, you know that it's best for you to exit, to ask for pause, to, you know, just say, let's come back to this.
Speaker A:We've, you know, we've maybe circled the wagon enough.
Speaker A:I think that's another thing too in a conversation.
Speaker A:In conversations, I think in setting boundaries, like it's not about trying to figure like setting boundaries so that there's a win in it for you.
Speaker A:I think, I don't think.
Speaker A:I think we are better served not going to conversations with an objective to win.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:But more of an objective to seek to.
Speaker A:And maybe that's, we're getting to another tip, but it's more just like you're not.
Speaker A:You don't have to go in for the win.
Speaker A:I think there might be something that needs to be solved maybe in that particular.
Speaker A:And it could happen in different phases, you know, if, especially if there is time to do it.
Speaker A:And maybe this one is just to get to some kind of alignment, you know, get to some type of understanding of where the parties in the conversation are sort of situated relative to like, like getting to, you know, some type of like agreement or some working solution.
Speaker A:And that's it.
Speaker A:That's it.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:You know, you just kind of, you kind of just.
Speaker A:It's like a slow cooker Right.
Speaker A:You kind of just marinate it, marinated in that first conversation and then be okay to say, I'm going to leave the rest.
Speaker B:Yeah, I absolutely love that.
Speaker B:And there's different ways to use boundaries.
Speaker B:Like, you know, I'll tell you candidly, I worked with someone once who really loves stepping over my boundaries or trying to.
Speaker B:Sucking my time with words, emotional, mental, and.
Speaker B:But from that, I'm very grateful because I learned some strategies.
Speaker B:And the first is, you know, from an emotional perspective, it's okay to say, I'm not willing to discuss this topic or I will not tolerate you yelling at me or I need some space right now.
Speaker B:That's perfectly fine to do.
Speaker B:That's a boundary.
Speaker B:And then if there's someone that's trying to use your time, you know, you can, you can set that boundary.
Speaker B:I have a hard stop at this time, or I can only talk for 15 minutes, or I need to prioritize my time right now.
Speaker B:Whatever that looks like for you.
Speaker B:State your boundary.
Speaker B:That's key.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And then, you know, if someone's in a situation where there's a physical boundary, you know, you could say, you could say, I'm not comfortable with physical contact or please ask before picking up my cell phone or whatever.
Speaker B:Like, I.
Speaker B:Please don't stand so close to me.
Speaker B:There's nothing wrong with saying that because you're seeing, you're stating your boundaries.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Now, we've all been in situations where.
Speaker B:Bless you.
Speaker A:We've been in situations.
Speaker B:Oh, I thought you sneezed.
Speaker B:Well, bless you anyway.
Speaker B:Thank you anyway, girl, I love you.
Speaker B:The last one I would say is mental boundaries from a perspective of boundaries, because they relate to your thoughts, your opinions, your beliefs.
Speaker B:And so it's perfectly fine to say, I won't participate in gossip or I will not allow you to put your belief onto me, or I have a different opinion.
Speaker B:And, you know, I'd like to leave it at that.
Speaker B:These are all ways to protect your boundaries.
Speaker B:So please go ahead.
Speaker A:Yeah, no, I was going to say that, you know, as we talk about this, I recognize that in some cases this is going to be with.
Speaker A:The further removed the person is from you, the easier that some of what we're sharing is.
Speaker A:But we're talking about sometimes that these are family, they're friendships, you know, and.
Speaker A:But I will say, like, just from experience, there are, like, relationships that are that close where, where if you, you know, if you start to do that sort of assessment as to how you feel when you've, when you get out of some of Those interactions, and you're not feeling.
Speaker A:And you're not feeling like you're in a position of empowerment.
Speaker A:You're not feeling like, you know, that was just a great experience, then I would say, then that might be a relationship that does need boundaries, irrespective of what they are to you, you know?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And I just say, you know, I just encourage everyone to know that that is actually also okay to reposition yourself or others in your life.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:One thing I always used to say, and this one hit close to home for me, is that not every relationship is meant to compete against a Duracell battery.
Speaker B:Ah.
Speaker A:And I used to say that a lot.
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:You know, especially when you're, you know, because sometimes as you start to navigate life and you start to grow and you learn and, And.
Speaker A:And especially if you're working on trying to just be better and, and get out of, like, old habits that were toxic or.
Speaker A:Or unhealthy habits.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:I would say people are part of that as well.
Speaker A:And so it's also realizing that sometimes I think we.
Speaker A:We feel that some relationships are in our lives forever.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And I certainly, you know, just losing people.
Speaker A:You and I have lost really dear people to us, and nothing is forever.
Speaker A:And that.
Speaker A:That includes friendships.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like.
Speaker A:And so.
Speaker A:And family ships.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And so there is a.
Speaker A:There's also, I think, an honest need for us to also evaluate that inventory and.
Speaker A:And be okay to say there's some.
Speaker A:There's some of those folks that also need to be repositioned.
Speaker B:I really appreciate you saying that, because my brand and my business is kindness.
Speaker B:You know, when I'm coaching someone, for example, how to speak, and if they want to be in my coaching program, I'm very, very particular about who is actually accepted into that program.
Speaker B:Because if they're just doing it for the money, that's great.
Speaker B:But not for me, that's not a fit.
Speaker B:But if they're doing it for the purpose of helping others and using their voice for impact, then we are a fit.
Speaker B:And so there's a difference between being nice and being kind.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Being nice is, like, socially agreeable, whereas kind is more of a deeper concern for others involving helpful and compassionate action.
Speaker B:So when we bring that back to boundaries, you know, there can't be any guilt or fear or fear of upsetting others, because ultimately, we need to set our boundaries in order to understand that we have to protect our energy and navigate the situations, really, with Kong.
Speaker A:That's a good point.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So let's move to the third one.
Speaker B:The third strategy for dealing with difficult people is seek to understand, not win.
Speaker B:Now, you touched on this already a little earlier, and this is incredibly powerful when you're talking with and to difficult people because it shifts the focus from being like adversarial conflict to a more collaborative approach.
Speaker B:Okay?
Speaker B:And even if collaboration seems impossible, it actually can apply strongly if you're using the concepts correctly.
Speaker B:So what you want to do is you want to shift the goal.
Speaker B:So instead of aiming to win the argument or prove your point or I'm right, and even if you disagree, what's important is you want to actively listen.
Speaker B:Because by actively listening, you're really identifying what the other person is saying, not just waiting for your turn to speak.
Speaker B:Like, have you ever been in a conversation where you're speaking, the moment you take a deep breath, a pause, that's when they interject.
Speaker B:And then it's like, did you really just hear everything I just said before that?
Speaker B:Brother, were you waiting for my pause to introduction?
Speaker B:So the active listening is really, really important.
Speaker B:And so what that also helps with now is validation and empathy.
Speaker B:Because what you can do is see the situation from their point of view, acknowledge their feelings.
Speaker B:You don't have to agree with them.
Speaker B:No, but acknowledging and really having empathy for their side is very important because it also helps to reduce any conflict or any heaviness that the conversation could actually have.
Speaker B:And, you know, if.
Speaker B:If you really, truly don't understand and you need more context, then ask them.
Speaker B:Ask them.
Speaker B:Encourage them to elaborate on their thoughts.
Speaker B:Elaborate on their thoughts, their feelings, because you really want to gain a deeper understanding of their perspective.
Speaker B:What are.
Speaker B:What are your thoughts on this thing?
Speaker A:Yeah, Well, I think it's.
Speaker A:To tie into what I was saying earlier.
Speaker A:I think what I'll add is, you know, don't go into conversations thinking it's finite.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:It's just, you know, it's transient.
Speaker A:Like, you're gonna.
Speaker A:You're gonna get it to, like.
Speaker A:I think there's certain languages you can even use.
Speaker A:Like.
Speaker A:Like, if you recognize it's a difficult conversation, if in the process you realize that it's.
Speaker A:It's bigger and you're having to, like, okay, let's just take a pause again to some type.
Speaker A:What can we agree on today?
Speaker A:Yeah, so we can agree on that we have a challenge.
Speaker A:We can agree on that.
Speaker A:This is bigger of a problem that we thought.
Speaker A:Like, try to find the points of agreement that even two disagreeable people can still figure out.
Speaker A:I think that that's possible.
Speaker A:Like, even If I hate to say we agree to disagree, I don't like that at all.
Speaker A:But we agree that there's something that needs to.
Speaker A:We're opposing ends, and so do we bring in a third party, right?
Speaker A:Do we go and do some research, come back together?
Speaker A:Do we maybe.
Speaker A:I don't know if, if you can.
Speaker A:Do we agree that we're gonna, that we're.
Speaker A:We're gonna park the situation, right, like, and just walk away, like, and, and move on from it?
Speaker A:You know, But I think there, I think there's that.
Speaker A:I think you also don't think about it so finite.
Speaker A:Like, the whole, that whole wind thing, there was something, and I don't know if I'm going to quote this well, but it says seek to understand, not to be understood, right?
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:Because I do think still in the, in the, in the space of understanding someone, you can.
Speaker A:You.
Speaker A:You actually end up being in this place of empowerment that once they, once they realize that you're there to really understand how they feel, they will in turn become more accepting of your, like, sort of your thoughts around the topic.
Speaker A:I truly do believe that.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And so, you know, and I think something else I once heard and I, you know, understanding is the truth.
Speaker A:We stand under, you know, and so I think at the end of the day, intrinsically, in every human, there's this desire to be understood.
Speaker A:And so if you're.
Speaker A:The person has to do the understanding, then, yeah, I think Michelle Obama says, when they go low, you go like, I stay high.
Speaker A:Like, I think in every conversation it's not.
Speaker A:And when I mean high, not like higher than the person, but stay in your high thoughts, stay in your high spirit, stay in your high energy.
Speaker A:Stay, Stay high in the sense that you know that this, you want to make this better.
Speaker A:You want this situation to rise, you want it to uplift, you want people to leave.
Speaker A:What is it that Hannah and you say you want people to leave this experience in the space of increase.
Speaker A:Like, you want to add value.
Speaker A:You want to.
Speaker A:You know what I mean?
Speaker A:You want to add life.
Speaker A:You want to.
Speaker A:So if you kind of try to say that, you know what, in every conversation or situation, I'm going to leave it better than when I found it.
Speaker A:You give yourself a little bit of grace and responsibility to maybe figure out and navigate how to, you know, work through this so that, you know, as best as possible, the best outcome for as many people, for the, you know, highest good for as many people as possible.
Speaker B:I love that.
Speaker B:And what I heard you say is that you're almost like de escalating conflict.
Speaker B:You're understanding the issues, you're building the rapport, you're managing your own emotions.
Speaker B:And when you can find those solutions and you recognize these limits, essentially seek to understand.
Speaker B:Not to win is about approaching the difficult interactions with curiosity, with empathy, rather than aggression and defensiveness.
Speaker A:I feel that you need to go in for the win.
Speaker A:I think the other thing so, and I'm guilty of this because I, I'm already.
Speaker A:I have some, I have some interactions that just came fast to mind and very personal, close ones is like sometimes it's also like once you're, once you're trading, once you're trading off on the last thing that the person said, you've lost.
Speaker A:Like the whatever you guys came together to discuss has been lost.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker B:Because.
Speaker A:And I always say try to stay on point.
Speaker A:Like I've learned something.
Speaker A:A good way to de escalate tip is just keep repeating the same thing over and over again.
Speaker A:Like if there's a point that you want to keep to keep the conversation on, just continue to reiterate it.
Speaker A:And if the person goes left, reiterate it again and reiterate it again and reiterate it again.
Speaker A:And no matter what, like say this is.
Speaker A:I'm here to talk about this.
Speaker A:And I'd be like, what your last week, but I'm here today to talk about this.
Speaker B:That's great.
Speaker A:Yeah, keep them on track here to talk.
Speaker A:Yeah, keep them like you stick the point because the minute you start to like follow the.
Speaker A:The, the, the then you almost lose.
Speaker A:And, and so if you recognize that that happens because it's possible, then keep in mind this statement.
Speaker A:What's really, what are we really trying to discuss today?
Speaker A:Or what is really going on here?
Speaker A:Or like let's like what's really happening?
Speaker A:What do we want to get out of this?
Speaker A:Like, ask that question to say what we like, what do we, what do we want to team up and, and really try to do today together?
Speaker A:You know, I love that.
Speaker B:So we're almost out of time.
Speaker B:So let's summarize.
Speaker A:Time is probably the longest.
Speaker A:Podcast is 26, 26 minutes longer than normal.
Speaker B:We like bite size.
Speaker B:But this was important.
Speaker A:It is, it's really, really good.
Speaker A:So let's, let's, let's summarize.
Speaker A:So three tips.
Speaker A:So we say do not take it personally.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:That was number one.
Speaker A:That will keep you in the driver's seat of your own emotions.
Speaker A:Set them up whole.
Speaker A:Boundaries.
Speaker A:Boundaries are really, really important.
Speaker A:And know that no is a full sentence.
Speaker A:It is an absolute verb.
Speaker A:It's like, it's, it's everything to help protect you and seek to understand versus to win or to be understood.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like, I think there's really something about being insatiably curious that that can really make most conversations very successful.
Speaker B:Yeah, I agree.
Speaker B:And ultimately, if you implement these tips, you'll be better equipped to navigate these challenging relationships.
Speaker B:It can happen.
Speaker B:We all know and meet difficult people.
Speaker B:But the reality is apply these tips.
Speaker B:Apply these tips in your lives.
Speaker B:We're here to help you get through it.
Speaker B:Comment on this podcast, share your thoughts.
Speaker B:We're here to help.
Speaker B:And we're so grateful that you've listened.
Speaker A:We are.
Speaker A:We're grateful that you listened.
Speaker A:Sadly, this is where we have to.
Speaker B:Say I'm Ink and I'm Gabby with.
Speaker A:One B and we're out there.
Speaker A:You have it.
Speaker A:I trust that you are feeling more empowered in your skin.
Speaker A:As the late Dr.
Speaker A:Maya Angelou said, when you get, you give.
Speaker A:When you learn, you teach.
Speaker A:So it would mean so much for us at Empower to My Skin, Inc.
Speaker A:If you share this episode and tag us or teach an insight that you took from today's episode on your social and tag us.
Speaker A:Feel free to leave us a review over at itunes and follow us on social media at Empowered in My Skin.
Speaker A:Finally, remember to subscribe so you never miss an episode.
