Empowering Bytes: Beyond Positivity
Today, we're diving deep into the difference between positive thinking and intelligent thinking — and trust me, this shift might just flip the script on how you tackle challenges! Positive thinking is all about that sunny outlook, but intelligent thinking? That’s where we roll up our sleeves and face reality head-on, armed with clarity and action. We’re chatting about how to evaluate situations as they are, not worse, and then strategize our next moves like the empowered humans we are. Plus, we’ll share some fun tools to help you develop this muscle of resilience, which will make navigating life’s curveballs feel a whole lot easier.
So, grab your headphones and get ready to think smarter, not just positively!
Takeaways:
- Positive thinking lifts us up, but intelligent thinking helps us confront reality with courage.
- Intelligent thinking means acknowledging the truth without sugar-coating, and then taking actionable steps.
- Empowerment is contagious; by empowering ourselves, we empower others around us to take action.
- Moving from positive thinking to intelligent thinking can reduce overwhelm and anxiety in challenging times.
Have an empowering story to share on an Empowering Bytes episode? Submit your request, for a chance to be a guest.
Find us online: https://linktr.ee/nkechinwaforrobinson
Transcript
Great day.
Speaker A:Amazing human.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Welcome to Empowered at My Skin podcast, where our mission is to help 1 billion people in this world think in more empowering ways.
Speaker A:Empowered humans empower humans.
Speaker A:So you are in the right place to become a lead domino for empowerment today.
Speaker A:My name is Nkechi Mwaho Robinson.
Speaker A:I'm not only your host, but I am a vibrant optimist obsessed to bring you empowering content with every single episode.
Speaker A:We will bring you weekly content, alternating between longer episodes with featured guests and a shorter episode called Empowering Bites, where I will be joined by my co host, Gabby Memone.
Speaker A:So if you're ready, let the show begin.
Speaker A:Great day, amazing human.
Speaker B:It's your girl, Ink.
Speaker A:And I'm joined by the Gabby mome, Gabby Malone.
Speaker A:She's my girl.
Speaker A:She's here.
Speaker A:She's fabulous and she's wonderful.
Speaker B:Oh, thank you.
Speaker B:You're my girl, too.
Speaker A:I know, I know.
Speaker A:This is true.
Speaker A:This is very, very true.
Speaker A:So, my friend, my confidant, we are welcoming everyone back to this episode of Empowering Bites.
Speaker A:And today we're talking about something that might flip the way that our listeners approach challenges right from.
Speaker A:So we're going to talk about moving from positive thinking to intelligent thinking.
Speaker B:Positive thinking has its place, and we all know that it uplifts us.
Speaker B:But intelligent thinking, that's what helps us face reality with courage.
Speaker B:So it's about seeing things as they are, but not worse than they are.
Speaker A:Tell me more.
Speaker B:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker B:So positive thinking says everything's fine.
Speaker B:Intelligent thinking says, here's what's real and here's what I can do.
Speaker A:So it avoids, like, it avoids denial.
Speaker A:And that's what I, that's what I take from.
Speaker A:That avoids denial.
Speaker A:It's like, this is what it is.
Speaker A:This is.
Speaker A:It's not adding to it, it's not subtracting from it, but it's.
Speaker A:It's actually about being able to evaluate it and then start to think about how to move forward from a place that serves you best.
Speaker A:I think, I think with positive thinking, and I think that that's what happens to a lot of people.
Speaker A:Like, how can you always be so positive, right?
Speaker A:Like when, when everything around you is blah, blah.
Speaker A:And I realized that I actually really do like this concept of intelligent thinking because I. I think I probably naturally apply it, right?
Speaker A:Because I don't know that I'm.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:I don't know that I'm always positively thinking, but I am trying to.
Speaker A:I am trying to ask myself what's going on in and around me and then trying to then evaluate my sort of, my next actions from, from, from that approach.
Speaker A:Actually, you know, this, it reminds me of something and I think we might have talked about on this podcast that when you start to think about suffering, right.
Speaker A:I think it was near a gal that says it's, it could be him.
Speaker A:I'm not 100 sure, but it is.
Speaker A:Suffering is the distance between what happened and your awareness of what happened.
Speaker A:And if you can shorten that distance, then you can, you're now in, I think what you're in this intelligent thinking space where you can now say, okay, I have clarity on what happened.
Speaker A:I'm not in denial.
Speaker A:I'm not trying to make it something like, you know, sometimes we, we like, like something's happening and we're all of a sudden, well, if it, if this.
Speaker A:Or if, you know, we're starting to think about all of the different form permutations of what could have happened except what actually did happen, right?
Speaker A:What do you think about that?
Speaker B:You know what, you're absolutely right.
Speaker B:I do spend a lot of time working with people.
Speaker B:I coach speech coaching, for example.
Speaker B:And so let's say someone has a business.
Speaker B:Anyone listening?
Speaker B:If you have a business and it's struggling, let's say there are challenges.
Speaker B:Whatever the challenge is hr, financial, okay?
Speaker B:A positive thinker will say something like, my business is fine no matter what, I'm going to figure this out.
Speaker B:And that's great.
Speaker B:Now when we flip that to someone who does intelligent thinking, the intelligent thinker might say something like, my business is struggling right now, but here are three steps that I can take today.
Speaker B:So it's ultimately someone who is taking action rather than just looking at the.
Speaker A:Fluffiness, gets into the action mode a lot quicker.
Speaker A:And when you get into action, guess what?
Speaker A:You make progress.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:And that's exactly what intelligent thinking is.
Speaker B:Sometimes we get stuck in the dreaming.
Speaker B:And don't get me wrong, we're all positive thinkers and I think that's really important.
Speaker B:We've all heard fake it till you make it.
Speaker B:And that's all great.
Speaker B:But the reality is is until you take action, knowledge is just knowledge.
Speaker B:So do you want knowledge or do you want to be an action taker with knowledge, there's a difference.
Speaker B:And that's what intelligent thinkers do.
Speaker A:And I love this concept because I actually do think it's probably easier for a lot of people who are like, oh, how can you always be so optimistic and positive to, to wrap their head around this?
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Because I think intelligent thinking, when we talk about it, avoids denial.
Speaker A:You're not catastrophizing, which is something I learned when I was doing CBT training, that a lot of times our mind makes the situation that we're actually going in worse when we don't pause to really take stock of what really is happening right now.
Speaker A:Like what are the tenants of truth that I'm, that I'm experiencing rather than either wishing for something different or like catastrophizing it, making it absolutely worse than it actually is.
Speaker A:And then I think it makes it a lot harder to, to, to bring it into, you know, something that you can, that is manageable, something that you can actually start to work and navigate through.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So I like your idea about, okay, this is what happened.
Speaker A:What's the next best.
Speaker A:I always like that.
Speaker A:What's the next smartest thing I can do?
Speaker A:And sometimes it's like nothing.
Speaker A:Absolutely do nothing.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:That is an action.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Making no decision is a decision.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Taking no action will get you how much further?
Speaker B:Probably not much further.
Speaker B:You can, but it may not make it worse.
Speaker A:It may not make it worse, Right?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:In fact, you're right, it would make it worse.
Speaker B:And so when we take a look at how intelligent thinking empowers us, then there are tools that we want to implement.
Speaker B:And so, for example, you know, take a look at what is really happening.
Speaker B:Look at the facts.
Speaker B:No sugar coating.
Speaker B:What are the facts?
Speaker B:I've got this.
Speaker B:Let's again refer to the business.
Speaker B:I'm, you know, in the red and I've had some attrition.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:Okay, so you look at the facts of your situation as a tool and then of course, the story.
Speaker B:So what you feed your brain is what you create.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And so when you're thinking from the place of the goal, if you're scared or there's drama or you think it's not going to work out, you're kind of paving that path.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And so that does still tie into positive thinking.
Speaker B:But the, the intelligent thinker will now decide on the next step.
Speaker B:What small action can I take today?
Speaker B:Let's not get overwhelmed by the 50 things that you need to do.
Speaker B:But what small can I take today?
Speaker B:In fact, just on this weekend, I went to an event that I was emceeing.
Speaker B:So I had to be there, of course.
Speaker B:And I listened to the amazing Jack Canfield, the author, and he has a strategy called Five by five.
Speaker B:So for five days straight he does five things and then he does an evaluation of it, and then for five days he does five things to lead him closer to his goal.
Speaker B:So relating to authors.
Speaker B:For example, if you want to write a book, book putting pen to paper could be daunting for some people.
Speaker B:Selling it could be daunting.
Speaker B:Which publisher do I choose?
Speaker B:All these things.
Speaker B:But if you just choose five things to lead you closer to your goal, it actually shows that you are an intelligent speaker.
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Or action takers.
Speaker B:What I should have said, not necessarily speakers, but in that case an author.
Speaker A:I might have to double click on that more with you offline than our broll.
Speaker A:Sure, I like that.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah, agreed.
Speaker A:Any more tools?
Speaker B:Well, I would say that you have to really take ownership.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:We have to take responsibility.
Speaker B:So you see it, you name it, choose how to respond to it.
Speaker B:That is how you empower yourself and those around you to take action.
Speaker B:You truly, truly need to understand your situation and go for it.
Speaker B:Not just dream about it.
Speaker B:Not just only be positive, but taking action is the intelligent speaker.
Speaker B:And I think, think that we're action taker and I think that that's sometimes the gap that we have in between achieving our goals and thinking about our current state.
Speaker A:And a couple of episodes back we talked about and I can't remember what it was called, but it was around.
Speaker A:It was around.
Speaker A:And, and it's something you do a lot with your clients.
Speaker A:You get them to see another perspective.
Speaker A:I can't remember what we called it.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:But like what's another way?
Speaker A:So, so you can almost apply for this one as well.
Speaker A:Like intelligent thinking, I think says what are all the ways that this can work out for me?
Speaker B:Right, right.
Speaker A:Whereas positive thinking, you would just be thinking like, well, you might, you maybe, maybe it's the same.
Speaker A:But positive thinking, you're thinking, you're probably not thinking about all the ways this can work out for me, but you're trying to think about how to look at this positively versus intelligent is.
Speaker A:With all the actions that I'm going to take, what are all the ways that this actually can work out for me?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Work out in my favor.
Speaker A:And I love it.
Speaker A:I think it's, I think that it's like Confucius.
Speaker A:Like those who say they can't and can are both correct.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker B:Yes, I agree.
Speaker A:Back to your mind creates.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like I, I do start to think of you.
Speaker A:If you start to challenge yourself and anchor on possibility versus positivity, but anchor on possibility, then yeah.
Speaker A:Then what you think on what you think is impossible actually then actually becomes possible.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:For anyone that's watching and listening, we all know that you within you, you have positivity.
Speaker B:Okay, please keep it up.
Speaker B:What we would like to impress upon you is to really look deep, because when you can switch that positivity and now go to intelligent thinking, what that's going to do is it's going to release and minimize this spiraling that sometimes we go through when we have anxiety, when we're trying to achieve things, and then that in turn reduces overwhelm.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So we all know what overwhelm is.
Speaker B:And so when we can take this big audacious school or this big project or whatever it is, writing a book, talking to your manager, asking for a raise, whatever that looks like, just break it into small steps.
Speaker B:Because when you can move to intelligent thinking, what you're doing now is you're building that muscle of resilience.
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:And when you build that muscle of resilience, you stop running from the truth, and now you start working with the truth and you figure out a way to fix it or move forward.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's actually a bridge between mindset and movement.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:And it's funny because I think that positive thinking doesn't necessarily yield action.
Speaker A:Intelligent thinking, I think, is what now starts to put you in the seat of questioning yourself and, and asking yourself those type of, those questions that you shared as part of those practical tools.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:As to how to move through this and navigate through this.
Speaker A:I, I actually really, I enjoy this topic.
Speaker A:I'm glad it came up as an option for us to, to talk about because I probably, I, I probably do more intelligent thinking now than I, than I ever did before.
Speaker A:I know I did a lot of positive thinking just to, to be more optimistic in life and actually see the good and, and this any other.
Speaker A:But I, I like the intelligent thinking because it actually enables me to focus on what really is happening.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And not pretending it's not.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:And being a little bit more courageous with the actions and the conversations and the decision and the, and, and, and I think it also holds me more accountable.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:In fact, I remember last year I was going through something personal and you and I were chatting about it and you weren't giving me all fluffy unicorns and rainbows.
Speaker B:You were, you were telling me this is the reality.
Speaker B:You were, you know, you were asking me the right questions and, and it was real.
Speaker A:Like it was a real thinking to the situation.
Speaker B:Yes, you did.
Speaker B:So it applies to work and business and personal and friendship.
Speaker B:It really does.
Speaker B:It's truth is true.
Speaker B:Let's not over drama.
Speaker B:What's the word?
Speaker B:Dramatize?
Speaker A:It, dramatize it.
Speaker A:I love it.
Speaker A:I absolutely love it.
Speaker A:And so, Gabby, I, I, I, I'm glad we've introduced this concept.
Speaker A:I, I like what you said.
Speaker A:Positive thinking is something that you should continue to do because I, I mean, I love thinking positively.
Speaker A:I, yes.
Speaker A:You know, I'm always like, what's a better way that I can think about this?
Speaker A:And I would say end, because the genius is and add intelligent thinking to your challenges that you face.
Speaker A:You know, as well, don't just try to see them in a positive way.
Speaker A:Rather see them in the way that they are actually happening.
Speaker A:And then start to ask yourself and use those practical tools that we've shared on this, on this episode to work and navigate your way through it.
Speaker B:I love this topic.
Speaker B:Thank you very much for introducing it.
Speaker B:It was awesome.
Speaker A:I love it and I love you and I love all the listeners unconditionally.
Speaker A:And this is, this has been an amazing episode.
Speaker A:And Sally, this is where we have to say, we're out.
Speaker A:Oh.
Speaker A:Oh, no.
Speaker B:Who are you?
Speaker B:Who are you?
Speaker A:I'm Ink.
Speaker B:And I'm Gabby with one b.
Speaker A:And this is where we have to say, we're out.
Speaker A:Bye.
Speaker A:Bye.
Speaker B:Bye.
Speaker B:Bye.
Speaker A:There you have it.
Speaker A:I trust that you are feeling more empowered in your skin.
Speaker A:As the late Dr. Maya Angelou said, when you get, you give, when you learn, you teach.
Speaker A:So it would mean so much for us at Empower to My Skin, Inc.
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