Heather Tillock: The Summit of Empowerment

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:00:03

Great day. Amazing human. Yes. Welcome to Empowered at My Skin podcast where our mission is to help 1 billion people in this world think in more empowering ways.

Empowered humans empower humans. So you are in the right place to become a lead domino for empowerment today. My name is Nkechi Mwaho Robinson.

I'm not only your host, but I am a vibrant optimist obsessed to bring you empowering content with every single episode.

We will bring you weekly content, alternating between longer episodes with featured guests and a shorter episode called Empowering Bites, where I will be joined by my co host, Gabby Memone. So if you're ready, let the show begin. Great day. Amazing humans.

Heather Tillock: 00:00:53

Yes.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:00:54

Welcome to episode 316. It is also the first episode of season seven, and it is also an episode that I'm doing with a extremely special woman in my life.

And it's also International Women's Month and Saturday is also International Women's Day. Like, it is. Like, there's a lot, there's. There's a lot, there's a lot, there's a lot, there's a lot.

And she's the type of woman that, you know, you say, yeah, oh, you're too much and be like, you know, just go and get less. She is so much, and I love her for all her much. But anyway, just truly inspiring.

Human has, I want to say, about almost 20 years of friendship we've had.

Heather Tillock: 00:01:37

Absolutely, yes, yes.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:01:40

Married life. Married life was good for that because it introduced me to her.

Heather Tillock: 00:01:45

Thank you for that.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:01:46

Of many things, married life has gifted.

Heather Tillock: 00:01:50

Me with some good, not some bad, but that's okay. That's okay.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:01:53

But in the life that she's living, she's really leaving a mark in her impact in communities. And I'm actually excited to learn more about that because we don't often sit down and just like, talk to me about your job, you know, so.

She has a wealth of experience in youth development, community partnerships and support services, and has dedicated her career to fostering programs that empowers individuals and create meaningful change.

From leading initiatives at regional municipalities of York to shaping youth programs in the city of Toronto, her leadership has been instrumental in driving progress in public service. But that's not all okay.

Other than being a mom of, like, some really, really tall children, very tall children, and aspiring, like, athletes and just brainiacs. We'll talk about them as well.

She's also take taken on an extra extraordinary personal challenge, which I have to admit, I think I might have said I'm in.

Heather Tillock: 00:02:53

I think you might have. And Then I kind of just, you know, in my older fashion, just kind of, you know, last min entry, but this.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:03:03

And she talked me through it. I was like, I gotta get you on. You're my. You're one of my greatest, greatest humans in my life.

And it would be such an honor to have you open up season seven. And I was really inspired by the journey that she shared. It was a test of her resilience, endurance and determination.

So in October: 2023

And she did it. And it's so. It's totally reshaped her perspective and reinforced her commitment to growth and perseverance.

So anyway, there's so much more, but it's time to just get this conversation started. So please join me in a huge, gigantic, you know how we do it. Welcome to Heather Tillock look. Isn't she. Anyway, YouTubers. You got it.

YouTubers are looking at her. Anyone that is watching or listening on Spotify or Apple, you know, head over to YouTube. We'd love to.

We love to see, you know, come see what we look like. We look.

Heather Tillock: 00:04:09

Absolutely. Yes.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:04:10

We look fly.

Heather Tillock: 00:04:12

Very fly for a Friday afternoon. I'm thinking very fly.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:04:15

That is right. That is right. Okay, Heather, you just kind of put us on blast because I said two days to International Women's Day.

Heather Tillock: 00:04:24

All right, Right.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:04:25

But we, we're batching this. Okay. We, we keep it, we keep it really honest. We are batching this. We're not that far away from International Women's Day. It's on the horizon.

It's about a week and something away. So, girlfriend, as a starting question on every.

I've asked every guest, I think it actually would be an amazing episode for me to actually just compile that. But what has been the most empowered thought that you've had of the day so far today?

Heather Tillock: 00:04:52

Yeah, that is a good question. What is my most empowered thought?

Ironically, I was having a conversation with a member of my team earlier around a particular challenge that we were having. And you know, I don't know if it was an empowered thought as much as an empowered question, but it was, you know, what is getting in the way?

How do we get to. Yes, given me lots of reasons why this has been a problem for you and you're having trouble solving it.

So you got to articulate for me what's getting in the way. And after you've told me that, how do you think we can get to yes?

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:05:29

I love that. How do we get to yes? Yeah, I love that.

Heather Tillock: 00:05:33

Yeah. Well, thank you.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:05:34

I love that. I think I say what needs to be true, huh?

Heather Tillock: 00:05:42

Yes.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:05:42

But I actually do. Like, how do we get to yes? Like, how do we get to a big yes?

Heather Tillock: 00:05:46

Yeah, yeah. How do we get to yes?

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:05:48

I like that. Thank you.

Heather Tillock: 00:05:50

It just forces everybody to approach said problem from a very different perspective. Right.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:05:56

So here's another one for you.

Heather Tillock: 00:05:58

Okay.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:05:58

How would you, like, how do you describe yourself?

Heather Tillock: 00:06:02

How do I describe myself? I describe myself as someone who's loyal, who's fiercely loyal, spontaneous. I tend. Fly by the seat of my pants.

But, you know, truly want, like, I don't ever want to miss an opportunity. I want to, you know, I know that sayings out there right now, we're living our best lives, but truly want to live my best life.

Like, know that this life is short. I don't want to age myself, but I'm in my 50s and starting to think about my legacy. Right. And what am I leaving behind?

And when people say, oh, yeah, I know, I do. Heather Tillock, what comes to mind for them? Right. So really just truly living each day to the fullest.

And I don't want to be a cliche there, but that's kind of it.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:06:52

I love it. So two questions come for me because, you know, I agree with you. We, we often say I'm living my best, you know, life. I've heard it. I've.

I think you said that to me recently and I. Someone also said it to me recently, and I think transparently, it was in that moment, both of those moments. So it means I kind of have to do. I.

I was like, I want to too, you know. Yeah. But I think everyone's best life is a personal definition.

Heather Tillock: 00:07:25

Absolutely. A thousand percent. What might be your best life might not be mine.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:07:28

So.

Heather Tillock: 00:07:28

That's right.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:07:29

So. So I'm going to ask you that in a second. But before that, I want to ask you because I do believe legacy is not what you leave at the end.

It is all the deposits you make along the way.

Heather Tillock: 00:07:38

A thousand percent.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:07:39

Yeah. And so having you on here is because you have left some of those deposits in my life already. Yeah. And so you're already doing it.

And if anything, it's, it's, it's such a, it's such a blessing to be able to contribute to something that is going to last, you know, so far as the podcast hosting site doesn't.

Heather Tillock: 00:08:07

Right.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:08:09

I have no control over that.

Heather Tillock: 00:08:12

Haven't you heard? This is gonna be forever.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:08:15

But YouTube. Right. So it's just. All I'm just trying to say is, like, contributing to that is why I do this.

And to be able to, you know, do that for you, to give you the platform, to give you a microphone, to share your wisdom, is truly something I'm grateful to be able to do.

Heather Tillock: 00:08:35

Thank you. Well, I'm grateful to have the opportunity to do this and to do this with you.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:08:39

Thank you. Thank you. So what is it feel like to be living your best life in Heather's world?

Heather Tillock: 00:08:47

What does it feel like?

It feels like, you know, when you're younger and, you know, you write down all the things that you want to do with your life as you get older, when you become an adult, it is truly that list, that childhood list. And even. Although the childhood version of that is probably a bit immature and, you know, inexperienced to some extent, it is.

All the things that I really did want, even at 6 or 7 and 10 and 12 and 15, like, all those things are coming to fruition now, and I feel like I'm being authentic to my childhood selves. You know, people do vision boards and some of these other things, and we keep reinventing ourselves.

I don't know that I'm reinventing myself so much, really. Exactly, exactly, exactly. And in an authentic way.

And that means a lot to me because I think, you know, all of us to some level, are really guilty of, like, this, the image that we put out into the world. Right. And I can appreciate, especially now with social media and all of these other things, why image is so important. Like, our brand is who we are.

Right. But I feel like my brand is my authentic Heather. It is, you know, take it or leave it. This is me. And I feel really good about that.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:10:06

Yeah. So that I have seen you blossom and I think more recently than. Than not.

And even just the quality of the conversations that we've had, like, I do recognize I've always admired you for someone who I would say I felt has always stood in her truth, you know, and inspired me and empowered me. So. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty.

Heather Tillock: 00:10:30

Yeah.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:10:30

You're awesome. So your career is deeply rooted in community service. I mean, I think you've been doing it from a. Really. Since I've known you and youth development.

Right. And like I said, we've never.

I know I've asked you, like, you know, tell me a little bit about what you do, but I don't really know the pathway, the journey and what lights you up about this work. So let's just. I know that's a lot. So, you know, what made you pursue this path? And, and you, you. There's been longevity in it.

Like, what has that journey been and, and why have you stayed the course?

Heather Tillock: 00:11:04

So, you know, we go back to that childhood list, right? My childhood. Heather said that she wants to help people. I want to do something that's going to help people.

I want to do something that's going to make people's lives better. And somehow that took me to, you know, a psychology degree at the undergrad level and a master's degree in my postgraduate life.

And those two things combined have brought me into public service. And I also teach at Seneca College part time. So in every way, all of those jobs, I feel like I'm helping people.

And I know that when people think of municipal workers, municipal employees, I know there's lots of stuff there. And oh yeah, you're not really, you're a public service employee. You're not really helping people. You're not making meaningful, meaningful change.

But we are like, you know, the reality is we have the structure of government. That's the structure that we have available, and that's what makes the world work. So what.

Who, who not better than people who are passionate, who truly want to make a.

Within those government structures, you know, pushing the status quo, challenging the status quo, forcing senior decision makers to do things differently, that's where I get my, you know, that's where I get some rescue. Exactly.

And on the teaching side, watching my students, you know, ask me questions, challenge me when light bulbs go off, when students who don't look like me, you know, have a better understanding of diversity and, you know, adversity and what being an ally actually really means.

So just having influencing, you know, their journeys and their lives and where they're going to go after they leave my classroom is pretty cool as well. So I think those two things together give me my umph. I don't know if I did one of them.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:12:55

What kind of teacher are you?

Heather Tillock: 00:12:57

Well, apparently I am the coolest teacher.

And I have gotten, you know, best dressed and most fashionable awards as well, because you don't gotta give it to Seneca, you know, they've got, you know, awards for different things. But what kind of teacher am I?

I'm truly that teacher who says you can ask me anything in my classroom as long as you're respectful and considerate of the other people in the class, you can ask me anything. So I'm that teacher. Ask me anything. Let's talk about it. Challenge me. Yeah, let's. Let's. Let's learn. Let's learn together.

I think I feel like my classroom is, in many respects, I learn as much from my students as I hope they learn from me.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:13:36

And as you think about community service and.

And, you know, even just coming out of, like, what we were, what we endured for three years, called covet, you know, what are some of them like, what keeps you and I.

Maybe you don't stay up, so don't mean literally, but what are the things that either cause you the greatest concern or you feel like are the things you need to lean in a lot on that just haven't moved as much as you would like to?

Heather Tillock: 00:14:01

Well, I don't know if it's so much about community that, you know, keeps me awake. I think. I think a lot about what this world is going to look like for my children.

Are they going to have those same, you know, opportunities to be fulfilled and, you know, our world has changed so much. I mean, I just finished watching, and this is a bit of a, you know, a departure, but I just finished watching apple cider vinegar on Netflix.

So I have lots of feelings about that. But I feel like our children live in this very.

Like, they are so consumed by social media and the number of likes and the comments and, you know, all of the stuff, you know, traction on your page, whatever. Again, I go back to this whole brand and the. What you put out there into the world, but I feel like there's this whole generation of very.

I'm not sure if artificial is the right word, but I just, I worry. I worry their generation and their generations after them.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:15:02

Right. And tell us about. Tell us a little bit about what you observe most about your two. Maybe introduce them a little bit.

Heather Tillock: 00:15:10

They're very different children. So one is. One is. My daughter's almost 21, and my son is going to be turning 19 later this year, off to North Dakota for a football scholarship.

So he's, you know, he's. Both of them are very fierce and very like, they've. They've got these great leadership qualities, but they're quiet.

So I think because I'm loud and I, you know. Huh.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:15:38

And they're your children.

Heather Tillock: 00:15:39

I know this is it. Right? But I think they're a lot like me. It's just quiet. Like, my husband is also a bit quieter. So I feel like they have the best of both of us.

You've Got my strength and, you know, my energy, but it's just about a subdued version of that, if that makes sense.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:15:57

You know, one thing. Sorry, I was going to say one of the things that I heard once, and maybe you can concur or reflect, is no two kids are raised by the same parents.

Heather Tillock: 00:16:09

It is so true. It is so true. We are very different parents with Jazz than we are with tiago. You are 1,000% correct.

And it's so interesting because I do struggle with that a little bit, and I struggle with the fact that why are we so different with them? Right. As a psychology major, I think about, should we be different? Should we be the same parents?

But to your point, I think you're supposed to give kids what they need, and every child is different. So you will. They will need different things from you as a parent. They will challenge you in different ways as a parent. So that's a pretty.

That's a pretty bang on comment. I haven't before, but I might use it.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:16:44

I might find the article and send it to you. They were saying that part of it is also because parents like, first child might be parents like Earl. They just got married.

They're trying to figure out their relationship. They might be in a different financial stage. They may not have a home. So there's a lot of more struggle. Like, it depends, whatever.

And then second child is, like, more established. You know, both parents are working.

Heather Tillock: 00:17:10

Exactly.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:17:11

You know, they got through. They understand parenting a little bit better. So they're not.

Heather Tillock: 00:17:15

Exactly. Exactly. And then third child can do whatever they want. Yeah. Yeah. So true.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:17:21

I saw. I can see that. I was like, ah, yeah. It took me a while. So. Really, what. I so impressed.

One the day you said to me, I can't remember where we were because I remember we were in person.

Heather Tillock: 00:17:36

Yeah. We were out at a. Like a family function of some kind, something.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:17:40

d I think it was September of: 2023

Or maybe I don't know if you had a full year, but I was like, oh, I want to do it.

Heather Tillock: 00:17:57

Yeah.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:17:58

Anyway, next thing I know, I saw your thing. You know, I saw your mount on Facebook. She summoned it, and I was still on the ground in Toronto.

Heather Tillock: 00:18:12

You're like, what? What's happening? What's happening right now?

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:18:14

I just, you know, maybe you can, like, I'll ask you like this. You know, you made this decision. First of all, you Made a decision to climb a mountain. And, like, how did that even start?

Heather Tillock: 00:18:28

So how did that start? I. I belong to this group of ladies in Stouffville. We do lots of, you know, social and so forth things together.

One of these ladies had basically put the idea out to the group. She. She said at one of the events that we were at that she was going to coordinate a climb of Mount Kilimanjaro.

To be honest, I mean, I wasn't perked up right away. I mean, yeah, okay, I've heard Mount Kilimanjaro, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but I wasn't perked up right away.

But then she sent the information, and we had this actual, you know, introductory meeting where she talked about it. And then I actually thought, this is something that I would love to do. Right.

You know, that adventurous, spontaneous, you know, fly by the seat of her pants. Heather, you know, drank the Kool Aid. And I was definitely. I was in. I was in. I was locked in.

I don't know that I thought about what that actually meant.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:19:25

Yeah.

Heather Tillock: 00:19:26

At the time, but I was locked in. Like, I knew that it was going to be challenging. I knew this was kind of a once in a lifetime experience. And, yeah, I just made the decision.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:19:35

So before we get to, you know, sort of what unfolded during the actual climb to what you just said, like, you don't know if you really thought it through. So.

Heather Tillock: 00:19:44

Yeah.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:19:45

On the other side of the experience, had you known all that you had to endure or could have been like. Like, probably also you. You recognize some of the dangers of doing this had you known all of that up front. Different decision. Same decision.

Heather Tillock: 00:20:00

Same decision.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:20:00

Okay.

Heather Tillock: 00:20:01

Kind of like getting married.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:20:02

Okay. I don't know. Got married 22 years ago. No one really talked about the marriage itself. Everyone talked about the wedding.

Heather Tillock: 00:20:11

Well, fair enough. And I would actually. I think that's a perfect analogy. Everybody talked about how great it was to summit and how exciting and exhilarating that felt.

Nobody talked about all the drama all the way up. So had I known all of that, I would have still done it.

What would have been different is that I would have been better prepared to navigate some of those things as they came up.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:20:33

Okay, so let's start to think about. Let's start to walk through this journey. So, yes, literally, I know that it was physical.

I know that it was mental, and I know that it was resilience. And you must have understood. Understood some of that at some level.

Heather Tillock: 00:20:44

Yes.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:20:46

What did the prep look like?

Heather Tillock: 00:20:48

So the prep looked like.

And the folks who were organizing it gave you lots of, you know, here's some things that you need to try and do over the course of the next nine to 12 months, right?

So the, the walking, lots and lots and lots of walking, hiking with, you know, a 10 to 15 pound backpack, on lots of hills, you know, drinking lots of water. Like all of those things to start to get your body into at least a better place physically.

Like I, you know, I, I'll be honest, like, you don't have to be an elite athlete there isn't that. Oh really? You do have to be in good physical shape. So when people. It's not an elite athlete climb. I mean, it's not Everest, you know what I'm saying?

Like, it's. But it is. You do have to be in good physical shape. You have to be in decent shape.

Like, you can't go from just laying around playing video games for nine months to climbing Mount Kilmaj.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:21:41

People do that.

Heather Tillock: 00:21:42

Well, then maybe they're 17 or 18 year olds who, you know, your body does what your body does at that age. But you know, for the average person, I think you have to be in decent physical shape.

So it was mainly walking, it was lots of drinking of water, it was carrying weights, some lightweight training, muscle conditioning and then altitude training, if you could do that as well.

And that was just to help acclimatize your body to the fact that you would be asked to do these very physical tasks in less and less, with less and less and less oxygen.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:22:15

And you said that had you. So in terms of the preparation, let's forget about what you have to bring.

But like in prepping for the, for the climb, knowing what you know or knowing what you had to do is there. What else would you have done?

Heather Tillock: 00:22:31

I think the preparation, honestly the physical preparation was adequate. Okay, that was enough. Like, it wasn't like nobody, I think that stuff they gave you. Yeah, that was.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:22:41

You were ready, okay.

Heather Tillock: 00:22:42

Yeah, you were ready, you were prepared.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:22:44

You were ready, okay, so you got ready. You knew everything you needed to do. You get on that plane, you fly out.

Heather Tillock: 00:22:52

Yes. And it's fantastic. I land in, in Tanzania, which, you know, it is not my first trip to Africa. I love, love, love Africa.

And although I wasn't born in Africa and you know, maybe my, my ancestors were, I always feel like I, there's just something very cool. And I feel this way too when I go to some places in the Caribbean.

But there's something very fantastic about getting off a plane and everybody that's around me looks like Me.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:23:22

Yeah. Yeah.

Heather Tillock: 00:23:23

And, you know, the people behind the counter look like me, and the people flying the plane look like me. Like, there is just something pretty cool about that. And I just love, love, love that.

And I have only experienced that in parts of Africa and the Caribbean. All that to say, we landed, it was fabulous.

You know, you head over to, quote, unquote, you know, there's a hotel that you stay at for about three days, because they ask you to get there about three days before you start climbing. So that even at the, you know, the base, you can start getting used to the altitude change. And they ask you to do some walking and, you know, some.

Some physical stuff while you're. While you're getting acclimatized. And then truly, you know, you drive over to the mountain and far.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:24:08

Like, is it far out?

Heather Tillock: 00:24:10

It's not that far. It's about. It's 45 minutes.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:24:13

Okay, okay, okay.

Heather Tillock: 00:24:14

Five minutes maybe. And that's the thing, right? Because I kept thinking to myself, why can't we see it from here? It can't be that. Right.

But you finally, you drive and you. As you get closer, then you start.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:24:25

To realize, and then you're looking at.

Heather Tillock: 00:24:27

It and you're like, damn, it's tall. Right. So that's when it starts to kind of, you know, sink in what you're actually doing. This isn't a vacation.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:24:37

Yeah. And when you arrive, can you see there's some people already climbing? Because I'm assuming you wouldn't be able to see them.

Heather Tillock: 00:24:43

Oh, when you arrive at the mountain. No. You still can't see them.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:24:47

Okay. Okay.

Heather Tillock: 00:24:49

No.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:24:49

So you get to the.

Heather Tillock: 00:24:51

You can't see people until, honestly, you are very, very close to the top. That's when you can see other people that are up higher. But up until that point, you can.

And I don't know if that sounds weird, but it's just kind of the.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:25:06

You move around the mountain. Okay.

Heather Tillock: 00:25:07

Yeah.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:25:08

Because you don't climb straight up, right? You climb. No. Yeah.

Heather Tillock: 00:25:11

You're. You're going, you know, like. So it's five days up, which also sounds like a lot.

So it took us five days to get to the top, and then it's two days down.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:25:19

And is there a path?

Heather Tillock: 00:25:21

Yes, yes. So there is, for the most part, a couple of different paths. Right. That they can take different groups on. And so that's what happens.

Sometimes it's not. There's not so many paths. So sometimes you get a little break because there's a. There's a backup. Like, there's a bit of a traffic jam.

And then what I think was most you have. I mean, some people call them Sherpas, but you have guides who carry your.

The big things up the mountain, not your back, but the big things, like where you're gonna sleep, the tents, all of that kind of stuff, the cooking. So the fact that some of them are in flip flops, some of them are in slides, they are in, you know, you have.

You went and purchased, you know, 200 hiking shoes because, you know, you have to be safe. But the fact that these folks are able to, like, it's just, it's. It's quite amazing. There's nothing.

I have never experienced anything like that before.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:26:15

Wow.

Heather Tillock: 00:26:15

I haven't experienced anything like that. And so I'm huffing and puffing and they're climbing.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:26:22

And is it. So it's paths all the way or do you actually have to climb it's.

Heather Tillock: 00:26:28

Paths for almost all of it. There is two parts where you have to kind of do a bit of a scaling thing.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:26:34

Yeah.

Heather Tillock: 00:26:34

But that's.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:26:36

Was that scary?

Heather Tillock: 00:26:36

It's not bad. It's a little scary. Yeah, that part's a little scary. And so for. That was one of the things where I was like, okay.

I didn't know this would actually be okay.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:26:47

What.

Heather Tillock: 00:26:47

What are we doing here? Yeah, so there were a couple times like that where I was like, okay, you know, it wasn't just walking, but they, they help you. It is very safe.

You are well looked after.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:27:00

Can you climb? Can you fall off the cliff? Like the mountain? Like, there's no rails.

Heather Tillock: 00:27:06

No. Well, you, I mean, because you said.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:27:09

It was narrow, like.

Heather Tillock: 00:27:11

Yeah, you could at a couple of points where it is pretty narrow or, you know, you're closer to the side. But that's just, you know, that would be somebody that's.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:27:21

Okay. Okay. Okay.

Heather Tillock: 00:27:22

So then.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:27:22

So you start off in shorts, I'm assuming.

Heather Tillock: 00:27:26

Yes, yes. And that's the, that's the cool part. You start off in shorts and you end up in wearing everything that you own because it is freezing.

And that's the other part. I think I didn't completely understand, like, how cold it was going to be as you got closer to the top of the mountain.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:27:44

And was there a lot of talking in a group as you climb?

Heather Tillock: 00:27:47

Yes, yes. Talking. There's laughing. Your guides are truly, I think what makes or breaks it? Like, they would sing to us. It was pretty incredible.

And even when we were what we called summit night, like you basically we went to bed at like 6 or 7 not even 6 or 7, 8 or 9 that night. And they woke us up around 1 in the morning to leave to go because they try to get you to the summit where you were going to see the sunset or. Right.

There's a lot of that kind of stuff going on. But, but even that, like you're, you're exhaust. They wake you up in the middle of the night to get you started again.

And so to wake us up, they sang like, they sang this song to wake us up. Yeah, it.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:28:37

That's beautiful. And they probably have beautiful voices.

Heather Tillock: 00:28:39

It was beautiful. They were, it was amazing. Like, you, you almost, you know, you tear up, you get very emotional. You're close, right? You know, you're close.

As exhausted as you are, you're, you know, you're, you're digging deep in.

Here are these folks who are probably just as exhausted as you are, but they're singing and doing everything they can to motivate you to, to get to the top.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:29:00

Did you have any bad moments? Like any like. Or. You maintained a pretty even.

Heather Tillock: 00:29:06

I was, I was. It was pretty, it was pretty even.

I didn't have, like, when I watched some of the people around me, the altitude sickness is terrible, but I was pretty fortunate. And they did say that a lot of that is, is. It's genetic. Like, everybody's body is different, right? Like, isn't. There's not a lot.

I mean, yes, you can do the altitude training, but there isn't a lot that you can really do.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:29:30

And what does alternate, like, what is alternative?

Heather Tillock: 00:29:32

So you're gonna, it's. It's almost where you're drunk.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:29:36

Oh, wow.

Heather Tillock: 00:29:37

Like, you're gonna get, you're gonna get really sick. You're gonna have a headache, you're gonna vomit. Much disoriented or sluggish.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:29:49

Your dog's upset about something.

Heather Tillock: 00:29:51

I like, honestly, like, there's somebody who's living their best life, let me tell you. Not a complaint in the world. I think somebody must be delivering something. Yeah. So that's altitude sickness. So I didn't really have that.

And you know, there were 22 of us and 10 of us got all the way to the top.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:30:14

Oh, really?

Heather Tillock: 00:30:15

So, yeah, so 12 people did not for various reasons because of that altitude sickness and what.

And they, you know, as you get to each level, they do like there's a doctor with a little check in, they check your heart, you know, all the stuff, right. All your vitals. And if there's anything that's coming in really high or really low, they can Make a decision at that point to send you back down. Wow.

Yeah. Because they're responsible.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:30:40

Right. They don't want you getting sick, having.

Heather Tillock: 00:30:43

A heart attack, whatever that looks like.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:30:44

Considering that this is your group, did you get to talk to any of them? Like, you've obviously spoken to some of them since you've been back about what that felt like.

Heather Tillock: 00:30:52

Yeah. And, I mean, for a lot of them, they were just happy that they got where they. They got, and that was an accomplishment.

A couple of them are going back with, like, a family member or, you know, another friend to try it again. Because to your point, like, now I'm of know what to expect. Maybe I can push through the altitude sickness this time. There's. Yeah. So it's.

It's a mixed bag in terms of the folks that one person contracted what seemed like just a really horrific, like, bronchitis or something like that. So they also wouldn't let her stay because she might make other people sick.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:31:31

Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense.

Heather Tillock: 00:31:33

So she said she was going back because were it not for the cold.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:31:37

Thought that she would have completed. Yeah. So talk to me a little bit about summit night and knowing that you were getting to the end of this really big life accomplishment.

Heather Tillock: 00:31:49

Yes. So summit night was interesting because as I said, they wake you up at, you know, this unearthly hour.

And, and that's, like I said, for the first time where as you're kind of at the base of summit, you can see other people that are closer. And even though you can see them and they don't seem that far away as you're walking, you realize there's still a lot to. To walk.

Like, there's still another five or six hours of walking here. Right. It's. It's a little daunting. But. But that. And that was the one part of the, the, the. The climb where I started feeling the most fatigued.

Like I was really starting to feel tired. So you get to what they call the first summit, and then they tell you that technically in the books, this is considered summiting.

But there is the top of the mountain, which is the peak of the mountain. And if you go there, that is, you can tell people you went to the very. The highest possible point of Mount Kilimanjaro.

So nobody, like, I'm not going to.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:32:58

Go that far and not go to the rest.

Heather Tillock: 00:33:00

Well, that's not right. So. So when I said to you that 10 of us there, of the. Of the 10, 3, 4 decided that they weren't going any further.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:33:13

Okay.

Heather Tillock: 00:33:14

That, that was their summit, and then six of us went on to the very, very top. So it was actually myself and this other young woman who were the first to get to. Because everybody's walking at different paces. Yeah, you're just.

You're kind of done right. And they only allow you to be in that altitude for a limited period of time because it's used to that. You have to kind of get out of that quickly.

So you get to the very, very top, you take some pictures, you do your whole thing. But I basically went up there and I, you know, I had.

I just took that time by myself, and I had a conversation with God about, you know, getting to the top of this mountain, what that means to me, how that's made me feel, and the fact that I can't go back down this mountain and then do everything in my life the way that I was doing it before. Like, I've got to change something. Otherwise this was not. Didn't mean anything. Yeah. So that was. It was very emotional. It's very emotional.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:34:16

Oh, gosh. And so I. I have these rapid fires. But before I do, I just have one more question to ask you.

And so to that point, to the Heather that came back, or came, you know, evolved from the mountain, what have you learned? Like, what has been the gifting in you?

Heather Tillock: 00:34:35

Well, it goes back to one of the comments I made before, and I think I had started to feel this way before I went on the mountain, but by the time I got back down, it was like, you know, this is Heather. This is who I am. Take it or leave it. You know, and not to suggest that I did this a lot before, but I just.

I'm not apologizing for what you consider my shortcomings to be. I'm not apologizing for not quite meeting the mark.

Not apologizing, know, for all the things that we typically apologize for, especially as women, to our partners, to our children, to our colleagues, to our friends. So, yeah. Yeah, just, you know, really just being full. And I've always been fairly confident, but I think it just. Now it's at that next level.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:35:22

Fully empowered. In your skin.

Heather Tillock: 00:35:23

Yeah, fully, fully empowered. Absolutely. In that skin. And just. Just, you know, stop making excuses like, I challenge other people to, you know, how do we get to.

Yes, well, I'm trying to get to my own.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:35:35

Yes. Gosh, I. I have. I have another thing to ask you. So after this podcast is done, so I'm going to take you through some rapid thrivers.

Heather Tillock: 00:35:46

Okay.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:35:47

When you think about someone who inspires you who comes first to mind?

Heather Tillock: 00:35:51

My mother. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's still alive, you know, and I know that not everybody still has their mom.

So I appreciate and will cherish all the time I have with her, but raised by a single mother and I think I get my grit from her, my determination, my, you know, pulling it all together. Yeah, yeah.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:36:12

What is the daily activity that helps you with your thrive?

Heather Tillock: 00:36:15

Daily activity. I do. I'm a big fan of, you know, talking to myself in the mirror. I feel like I'm on my own. Best company.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:36:22

Yeah.

Heather Tillock: 00:36:23

Really do.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:36:26

I do the self talk then too. Every single day. Love it.

Heather Tillock: 00:36:29

Like, I talk to myself after I brush my teeth.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:36:32

You know, I open up my camera and I have a self talk group and Facebook and I talk to myself. Right. I love it.

Heather Tillock: 00:36:37

Exactly. It's so funny because one of my children was like, why do you talk to yourself like my daughter? Like, who are you talking to? I'm like myself.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:36:44

And, you know, I always say the more you talk to yourself, the more you give the language to the world to speak to you. Right. Like, I recognize you do influence that. Yeah. What is a book? A book that's helped you with your thrive?

Heather Tillock: 00:36:55

It's a book that helps me with my thrive. Oh, it's a good one. Oh, my goodness. I'm trying to think of what I've read recently because I'm reading a lot of stuff. A book, A book, A book.

Well, I just started, I mean, and only because it's top of mind. But the anxious generation. So it's talking about the fact that this generation so not us, but these younger folks are highly, highly, highly anxious.

Anxious. And so, yeah, just trying to figure that out a little bit. Like, why are they so anxious?

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:37:23

Why are they so anxious? Yeah, Let me know. And what is an app? What is an app on your phone that helps you to thrive?

Heather Tillock: 00:37:31

On my phone?

Help me maybe just my Fitbit right now just because it sends me those messages and reminds me that I've been sitting too long and time to do something.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:37:40

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Heather Tillock: 00:37:43

Keeping it all.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:37:46

I remember one time at that. So that was like my period. My period app. Man, that app is pretty awesome. Listen, what is that?

What is one misconception that people have of you as they see you navigating this, you know, this world in true Heather fashion?

Heather Tillock: 00:38:03

Well, I. Somebody told me the other day that they thought I had a perfect life. And I thought that was fascinating because my life is far from perfect.

I have a family that I love very much. I enjoy my Work. And I feel like I still have lots of good work to do. I'm healthy, so I take none of those things for granted.

But I am certainly not perfect, and my life is not perfect, so I resented that. But it's interesting that people. I don't know, I feel like. I don't know. I did resent it a little bit because I don't know.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:38:34

Did you ask them what they saw?

Heather Tillock: 00:38:37

They saw perfection, apparently.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:38:39

And. And what?

Heather Tillock: 00:38:40

I don't. So I. I don't know. And should I not have, like, should I not have been resentful?

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:38:45

I would have seen it as a compliment. So back to the legacy.

Heather Tillock: 00:38:48

You have to.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:38:49

You have to ask people, what is it that you see? That's right. Some of that is legacy.

Heather Tillock: 00:38:56

Yeah. Fair enough.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:38:57

They're seeing a way you live.

Heather Tillock: 00:39:00

Right.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:39:01

And I get it. I think I. I think I actually get it because you're like, oh, my God, that's not what I'm trying to present.

Heather Tillock: 00:39:06

Right. Well, exactly. So I, I was a little thrown because I was like.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:39:10

But I also. But one of my mantras or Today's one of my mantras in the morning when I speak to myself, today's a great day. I'm having fun today.

I bring joy to others. I bring light with me wherever I go. I'm a positive influence on the world, and all is well.

And most people that will come in contact with me are getting that energy, that spirit. And so, yeah, they're not thinking, oh, well, she's. She's miserable and her life must really, really suck.

They're like, she's pouring energy out into the world. She was. Have no care. Like, but it doesn't.

Heather Tillock: 00:39:40

Right.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:39:40

To my, to the people that I know. Well, you know, I can share, you know, and I. And I, I, I do. I mean, I will share. I, I share that. I'm amazing.

And I'm also experiencing some challenges.

Heather Tillock: 00:39:55

Right. In life, the two are not.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:39:57

I think what happens is a lot of people put them, like, mix them together, which is why that person will look at you being amazing and think that you have a great life versus knowing that I can actually be equally. Like. That's where I say, I always ask, what is it that you see?

Heather Tillock: 00:40:12

Yeah.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:40:12

Because maybe it's just that conversation that can help them say, yeah, separate. Separate. Like, what do you see? And, you know, you could be amazing and also going through a really big challenge in your life.

Heather Tillock: 00:40:23

Challenge. Yeah. Agreed.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:40:24

True. And this. The two could live in the same space. Heather, I know you're not first of all. Can you show us your medal? Because I see it around.

Heather Tillock: 00:40:32

Yes, yes, yes. So this is. Oh, I don't know if it's there, but it's. The back says, yes, we can.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:40:40

Yes, we can.

Heather Tillock: 00:40:41

And one of the. One of that was one of the mantras on the mountain, right? Like, you, you can do hard things. You can do hard things. So as we think about that self.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:40:51

Talk and, you know, okay, I have it. Well, it's by Steve Magnus. Do hard things. I have to read it. I have to. Yeah, my niece.

Heather Tillock: 00:40:57

That was. That was a big part of, you know, and that was, you know, you. You asked if we talked and that some.

Sometimes that was what it was just encouraging the person in front of you knowing that, you know, their arm was sore, carrying their backpack, rubbing their back, somebody. And not glamorous, but, you know, started vomiting. Right. It's. Yeah.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:41:17

I didn't even ask you how many days was this a climb?

Heather Tillock: 00:41:20

So, yeah, five days up, two days down.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:41:22

Wow.

Heather Tillock: 00:41:23

Seven in total. And then we went to Tanzania after. Trust me, I don't even know how many thousand steps they. They did. Somebody tracked it. So it's a lot. It's a lot.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:41:35

Wow.

Heather Tillock: 00:41:36

And it's 19, 3. 41ft, so.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:41:39

Wow.

Heather Tillock: 00:41:40

Imagine. Wow. Yeah, exactly.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:41:45

So where do we find more of you? I don't know if you. Yeah, you do social media. So where do we.

Heather Tillock: 00:41:50

Well, I. I'm gonna have to start doing social media. And that was the other thing. Like, I came down this mountain and I'm like, like, okay, so what is it?

What's still missing? And I think you and I talked a little bit about it. I just started, you know, I want to write, like, I know. I want to write a book. I know.

So rather than procrastinating about all the things that are getting in the way, I, you know, taken advice, great advice, fantastic advice from you. And really just starting that journey. So I think that's. That's kind of next.

And all jokes aside, you know, my daughter got me thinking that I really do need to be doing something more on social media. I'm just not sure what.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:42:26

That's. Okay. Okay. Well, you have a lot of leadership, a lot of experience, and sometimes it's just sharing your experience, sharing your thoughts.

Heather Tillock: 00:42:35

Yes.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:42:35

Yes, I'll start. For me. So as. As a parting question.

Heather Tillock: 00:42:40

Yes.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:42:40

And I think maybe you've answered it, but still want to. Still want to ask it as full. What does it mean to you to be empowered in my skin?

Heather Tillock: 00:42:53

What does that mean to me? That means Honestly, creating space for other women, other girls, other vulnerable people to be their best selves. That I'm creating that space.

I'm creating those opportunities and helping them get there. Because when I'm, when I'm doing that, I feel like that's, that's my biggest. That's my, that's my joy. That's my thing. Yeah. So I really love that.

I really love that.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:43:26

Oh, thank you, Heather. Thank you for being Heather. Right. And force in my life and light in my life. And so grateful for your constant consistent.

That's something I never, ever said. Consistent friendship. There was a, I mean, there was a period of time where we. I didn't talk for a while.

Heather Tillock: 00:43:46

Yeah.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:43:47

I picked up the phone, I called you. It was just like we just spoke.

Heather Tillock: 00:43:50

Yeah. Right. Yeah.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:43:52

I've never, not. I've never. It has been the same kind of greeting, the same kind of love. Instant. Like.

Heather Tillock: 00:44:00

Yes. I love that.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:44:01

I love that kind of consistency, too.

Heather Tillock: 00:44:03

Me too. And I, I was actually saying that to somebody the other day. I think I was actually saying that to my husband. That, that's actually one of the things.

Because I told him I was, I was coming on the show. But that's one of the things I love about our friendship. That. But space and time don't matter.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:44:16

Yeah.

Heather Tillock: 00:44:18

And we have a friendship that is separate from all the other stuff.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:44:21

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love you. And to all of my guests out there, I don't know about you, I, I still do want to climb Kilimanjar.

Heather Tillock: 00:44:33

Listen, I, I, I say do it. I can certainly give you some tips and tricks.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:44:37

Okay.

Heather Tillock: 00:44:37

Okay.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:44:38

And, and yes. So go and do something adventurous. I definitely like that whole aspect that, yes, you can and do hard things.

And Heather, thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm sure you've powered many for a really, really long time.

Heather Tillock: 00:44:51

Thank you.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:44:53

And to everyone that's listening, this is where I say, we're out. See ya.

Heather Tillock: 00:44:57

Bye.

Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: 00:44:58

Bye. There you have it. I trust that you are feeling more empowered in your skin. As the late Dr. Maya Angelou said, when you get, you give.

When you learn, you teach. So it would mean so much for us at empower to My skin Inc.

If you share this episode and tag us or teach an insight that you took from today's episode on your social and tag us. Feel free to leave us a review over at itunes and follow us on social media. Powered in my skin.

Finally, remember to subscribe so you never miss an episode.