Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson: Self-conviction over self-belief
It's been said that we have strong convictions about weak issues, like fashion, football, etc., and weak convictions about important issues, like who we are.
In this episode, Nkechi shares her story of how she transitioned from self-believe to self-conviction. She believes that until we get to a place in our lives where we are convicted about who we are, we will be comprised and the world will ascribe something to our human.
What does your self-talk life sound like? Do you even have one?
Through this episode, Nkechi hopes to empower and inspire listeners to "turn-up" their positive self-talk game. A self-acclaimed "I AM" mantra junkie, Nkechi shares with us how she adopted this lifestyle, and how it's completely transformed the way she shows up for her day and world around her.
She advocates for the daily practice of affirmations to build self-esteem and confidence. She highlights how framing affirmations around the person one aspires to become, rather than current feelings, can set a positive tone for the day and attract uplifting experiences. Her journey of embracing self-affirmations has led her to recognize and teach the beauty of self-conviction, empowering others, especially young girls, to realize their worth and potential.
Have an empowering story to share? Submit your request, for a chance to be a guest.
Find us online: https://linktr.ee/nkechinwaforrobinson
Transcript
Great day, amazing human. Welcome to the Empowered in my skin podcast, where our mission is to help 1 billion people in this world think in more empowering ways. Empowered humans empower humans. So you are in the right spot to become a lead domino for empowerment today. My name is Inke Chi. I'm not only your host, but I am a vibrant optimist to bring you empowering content. With each episode, we will be bringing you content, alternating between longer episodes with feature guests and shorter episodes called Empowering Bites, where I'll be joined by my co host, Gabby Mamone.
::So if you're ready, let the show begin. Great day, amazing humans. Yes. Welcome to the next episode of empowered in my skin. And this one's a little bit different because it is a solo episode. And I want to say it's my first because I don't. I don't have a recollection of doing another one, if that even is my second. But it's definitely not more than that, because even as I'm sharing this with you, I feel discomfort, I feel uncomfortable, I feel shy. But I'm going to go in. I'm showing up for this episode because we were talking about one of, you know, my favorite topics.
::A mission I've been on, especially this year, is encouraging people to adopt a self talk life. And this month, in September, on the empowered my skin podcast, we are going in on this topic. And this episode is just going to be a little bit of my sharing of why has this become such a mission for me in my life? To really help others and get into this sort of. This self talk, self conviction, self belief, life. Right? I'm gonna say self conviction over self belief. That's. That's probably. That's the title. That's the title of this episode. That's what it's gonna be.
::Self conviction over self belief. But it's good. But I would say it starts with self belief, right? So, anyway, let me take you back ten years at the time, I was in a certain, um, situation in life, and a friend, a really, really great friend of mine at the time, introduced me to a book called a return to love. And that book, oh, my gosh, that book taught me about love and fear, how babies were born into love, and we learn fear.
::And I got it in an instant. And it's only years later that I recognize that why I got it in an instant, because in a journal, I've been journaling my entire life, but in a journal that I wrote, I wish I had it here to just kind of show it to the youtubers, what I'm talking about. But in a journal that I wrote back in 1988, on the COVID of the journal, I wrote love over fear as a kid. I don't know. I would have been 16 at the time. And so, yeah, I don't know, just connected with me at the age of 42 in an instant. And I devoured that book. I've read it now over four times in my life so far. And that book really taught me about the power of taking our experiences, excavating them from ourselves, exposing them to light, which to me is therapy. It could be friendships. It could be, you know, exposing them and taking in a book that resonates with you, that helps you really understand them, but essentially exposing them to light and then being able to, you know, look back at those experiences and realizing, as Oprah likes to say so often, they're here to teach us something and to look at them from a place of love, from a place of grace, right.
::And with that understanding that there's a message in there and that as human beings, I think our. The value and the responsibility that we have in this world is to, you know, share our life with others, right. And to share our learnings with others. And I think, for me, that book also taught me. Not that I think I know that book also taught me that I'm not alone, that my problem that I, you know, tend to be a little bit selfish when I think my problems are my own to only my own.
::But in recognizing that and sharing my challenges and situations with others, it was sort of like, oh, my God, I've experienced that, or I know somebody that's going through that or this and the other, and suddenly you don't feel like you're alone. And you feel that through learning from others or reading or, you know, nowadays you can chat GBT it or, you know, back in the day, google it, you'll realize that some human being in this big, gigantic world that we all live in has gone through something very similar.
::And so therefore, it should give you a little bit of ease to recognize that you're not alone. This problem is not yours to own. It's yours to realize what it's here to teach you and the responsibility to figure out how you can continue to move from it. Right. And for many of us, allowed to become, you know, your ministry or, you know, how you teach others or how you help others, you know, a place of service you can serve from the challenges that you've had in your life.
::And so that's what that book really did for me, and I excavated all of those challenges and fear. You know, fear, fearful challenges are those that are like, that leave hate and rage, anger, frustration, jealousy, envy. Oh, my gosh. Unforgiveness, locked up, tied up inside of us. Right? And it's this ability to rip that all out of us, you know, to sort of now look at these experiences from a fresh, new way, from a place of love and grace and compassion and empathy, and then redeposit them back into us, knowing that they are now tools to help us to continue to navigate forward. And this is a practice that I continuously do every single day, like, all the time through my life. And it's now become a lot easier. And I recognize that the distance between what happened and getting to the understanding of what happened for me in my life has significantly shortened.
::Right. And sometimes it happens within the same day, within the same moment. But a lot of times, I know when I'm in an experience and it's hit something, you know, like, it's hit something versus my ability to have that experience and it be just the experience that's in front of me on that moment, you know? And so that book really was the catalyst for that.
::And then through that, there was just this domino effect of other things that it led me to. Right from that book, I got introduced to Doctor Eric Thomas, and he also, I think, confirmed for me because he. He is what he drew my attention to. The quote that comes from that book, our deepest fear. And that quote has been such a catalyst in my life. I've memorized it. It's part of. I use it in my speeches. I share it with so many others, young girls especially, because I had nobody telling me this when I was growing up. I will stop them. I will hold them, and I will say to them, our deepest fear is not that we're inadequate.
::Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure, because I really want them to believe that. And the earliest years that they. That they can, right, like, as quickly as possible, is recognize that they're powerful beyond measure and that it's their light, not their darkness, that most frightens them. And to really embrace that light to not shrink, allow it to be shrunk, you know, to, you know, to help others shine, that everyone in this world can shine.
::In a world with 8 billion people, there is enough space for all of us, all of us to shine bright, all of us to be badass. There's enough badassery space to go around in this world. And when we can recognize that. And when we can recognize that our lives are a light that also help others shine their light. Oh, my gosh, that is so powerful. Like, you know, and so every single day, I continue to figure out ways to unlock my power. I'm not quite there yet. I know that some of my internal, like, some of the power that I feel lives inside of me is fear.
::Like, it scares me, you know? And I think it's supposed to feel scary and exciting all at the same time. And so, you know, I. That book continues to breathe life into me, you know? And that quote certainly is one that I say to myself at least once, twice a week since. Right. Like, it is such a big part of me. And so, you know, and anyway, so all of that, um, led me to, like, this life of, you know, the self development journey. And along the way, you know, with that book being the catalyst, I eventually landed on affirmations, the power of I am, you know, thank you, Joel Osteen. And I remember the first affirmation I ever, you know, started saying to myself in front of the mirror, Washington, I am phenomenal. That was from Doctor Maya Angelou, phenomenal woman. And I remember, and I probably can't even say it now, the way I would say it.
::I would say it so timidly. You know, I'd look at myself in the mirror and I'd be like, I'm phenomenal. I'm phenomenal. Now, when I say it to myself ten years later, I am a phenomenal human. Like, you know, like the level of conviction I have from really embracing my phenomenal ness. Right. And has actually helped others be incredibly phenomenal. Because now I ask others to repeat after me, I am phenomenal. And I am is the most powerful statement you can say to yourself, because nobody else can say, I am for you. And so when I ask others to repeat after me, I am phenomenal because I want them to feel phenomenal. I want them to recognize that they are phenomenal. I want them to tell themselves that they are phenomenal. And so, yeah, that was my first affirmation. The second one was, I am beautiful. And it's funny because I will talk about the science and the mechanics of self talk through this month of September.
::But one of the things I knew very early on was there's gotta be, as you're saying I am, there's gotta be some semblance of believing it. I do know that that's more so true for me now than probably at the beginning. At the beginning, I was saying, I am statements that I wanted to believe. But then, if you really still think about that, that is a level of truth, right? Because I wanted those.
::I wanted. The truth was I wanted to believe that about myself. And so I started to tell myself that I was beautiful. So essentially, the language I have for that now is I knew who I wanted to become, and I knew that to become that person, there was. It was actually okay to start living in that truth, like. Like becoming, like, being that person that I wanted to become, because eventually that it would catch up, you know? And so I remember telling myself, I am beautiful, and that was tough for me.
::And the emotions come up because for too long, I. It was easy for me to tell myself that I was ugly.
::You know, I'm ugly, is what I believed because I was told it, and I believed that truth. And I feel the emotion now because I know that there was a little girl who did not like to be in the skin that she was in, who did not feel, you know, beauty outwardly or inwardly, you know, and in believing that I was ugly, you know, how that manifested in my life, you know, I think about that, you know, and the ugly experiences I allowed myself to have simply because I thought that that's what an ugly person deserved, if we really think about it, you know? And so, you know, when I express now that I am beautiful, it has nothing to do with outwardly, but it's from what comes from within me. And I remember, you know, now I can't even say without smiling, but I remember when I really started to believe I was beautiful. The amount of people that would tell me that I'm beautiful exponentially increased, you know, and I remember my. I would Facetime. I'd come on FaceTime with my husband, and he'd be like, oh, babes, you look beautiful today.
::And now, you know, I'm bold enough to say, this is true. This is true because I believe it. So, yes, if I believe it, it's okay for you to. For you to confirm it, you know? But, yeah, then I was beautiful. And then I learned from Zig Ziglar. I'm born to win. I'm designed for accomplishment. I'm engineered for success. I'm endowed with the seeds of greatness, and I've been saying it ever since, and all of those are true.
::When I think about, I'm endowed with seeds of greatness. I am born to win. I have done many things in my life that were wins. I became a professional bodybuilder in the international Federation of Bodybuilding and in the IDFA two different leagues. I became a pro. And yeah, I won. I was born to win. I was born, I was designed for accomplishment. Not only are the friends, the people I hang around with accomplished in their own rights, I am accomplished. I accomplish things. This podcast is an accomplishment. This is episode 290. And so that is I'm accomplished, and I'm designed for greatness. I truly do believe that I'm engineered for success. There's so many things that I can say have been successes in my life and, yeah, and my mantra goes on and on and on. And so really what I want to share with you is the value of starting that. And like I say to everyone, start it with one affirmation, just one. And now that I understand more about the science, you can frame it in a way. If you don't believe it yet, you can frame it in a way of that I am to who you want to become.
::There's ways that you can frame that mantra so that it feels true, because it may not be what you feel today, but it is what you want to feel in the future. It's the person you want to become. It's the person that you are taking the steps every single day to become, you know? And, yeah, but I, but I think once you start, don't stop, you know, it has become my non negotiable.
::I'm typically pretty much, for the majority of the year, the first person I speak to every single day, you know, after I pray, I step in front of the mirror and I look at myself and I just, I go in, I go in, I start talking to myself. I affirm my day. I tell my day what kind of day I'm going to have, and before I've left the house, I leave the house from a level of conviction that the day I'm going to have is going to be awesome.
::I'm going to have a great day today. Today is a great day. I'm having fun today. I bring joy to others, I bring light with me wherever I go. I'm infinite energy for this world and all is well. I just affirm myself into the day and it creates an amazing day.
::You know, there's moments that happen through the day, but I would say so far as I'm in those moments, I somehow figure out how to make that a meaningful moment, you know, like, there's no bad meetings if I'm in the meeting, you know, because I affirmed that today is a great day and something about that meeting is going to be great, you know, and I think the more you can do that for yourself. The more you recognize that we have these moments, not days, you know, not endless hours of strife and anguish. They're moments, right? And we also have these other moments that are great and that made us smile, and you start to see them more. I truly do believe that when you affirm the kind of day that you have, you start to see how great of you start to see the great days that you've.
::That you're creating for yourself and others, you know? So, yes, you know, I share this. I, you know, I've been on this journey for ten years. I'm sharing this. As for value for your life, you know, as a way for you to move from belief, self belief, to self conviction, I would say that I was, I believed these things about myself, and now I'm convicted about these things.
::And I think the best thing about being convicted is you're not compromised. You know, when you believe something, you know, I think you still have the propensity to, ah, you know, argue about it. I think when you're convicted about something, you either don't even need to say anything or you will die for it. You'll die, you know what I mean? It's something that you will die for because, you know, you are convinced it is true, you know? And so I think in this world, and I've said it recently, we're so convicted about things that are so meaningless and the things that we should be convicted about, which is who we are as human beings, we're shy and timid about it. And so I want to flip that for you. I want this episode to be your start of living in a sense of conviction, that who you are is a powerful, amazing, exceptional human. Right? And in this world with 8 billion people, you are uniquely gifted and designed to be everything that you can be.
::Everything, right? And if you can, if you can lock into that today and recognize and start to live that with a sense of urgency, because there are no do overs. Tomorrow's not guaranteed. This moment is all that you have. And so take something from this episode, from what I'm saying in this moment right now to feed you, to fuel you, because I'm only, I want to help you and help you reach your highest power, your highest truest self. You know, that is, that is, that's everything for me, you know? And if you can. If you can leave this episode and leave a comment and say, wow, inc. You helped move me forward. And that's it. That's enough, you know, and so I'm gonna close by also expressing that. The reason I'm doing this, the reason why it's so important, the reason why it brings my emotions up is, you know, along the same time, when I was introduced to that book, I was also introduced to Doctor Eric Thomas. He was the hip hop preacher back then. Now, Doctor Eric Thomas, he said two words that I wish I had said to my younger self.
::You matter, you know, and still brings me big motion. Because I realize how many people in this world, you know, don't tell themselves that they matter. Look in the mirror and look at that person and say, you matter. You are important. Who you are matters. You know, no matter what you're going through, you matter. When times get tough, remember, you matter.
::Succeed or fail, you matter. Whether you rise or fall, you matter. Your dreams, your goals, your aspirations, you matter. Your spirit, your love, your desires, you matter. You know, everything about you matters. The way you talk matters. The way you think matters. The way you move matters. Who you connected to matters. Everything matters because you matter. You know, and if you can really believe that about yourself, get to that level of conviction that you matter.
::That no matter what, that you matter, that you matter. Even on those days that you're not feeling like you're good enough, guess what? You matter. You still matter. And it matters that you talk to yourself in ways that propel you forward, that move you forward, that lift you up, that help you rise, you know? And, you know, I'm going to ask you, when somebody, you know, after this episode says to you, what's up? Say, everything is up. Everything is up. My spirit's up, my thoughts are up, you know, everything's up. Because I matter, you matter, you know? So that's what I have for you. I truly hope that you move from this place of self belief to self conviction by locking into daily affirmations, to becoming like me and I am junkie, to using your affirmations to introduce yourself, you know, to this world every single day, to show up in your awesomeness, to tell your day what kind of day you're going to have, your day has nothing on you.
::Nothing. Nothing. Your experiences have nothing on you. They can't change who you are. When you are locked into conviction about about that, when you're locked into your conviction about who you are, your circumstances will not alter that. If anything, they will continue to rise, to elevate, to educate, but all to serve you for a greater good.
::So that's what I have for you on this episode. I really, really, really want you to lock into a self taught game and if you ever need help, just know I'm here for you. But this is where I have to say I'm out. Buh bye. There you have it. I trust you are feeling more empowered in your skin. As the late doctor Maya Angelou said, when you get, you give. When you learn, you teach. So it would mean so much for us at Eims if you would share this episode and tag us. Or teach an insight that you took from today's episode on your socials and tag us. Feel free to leave us a review over at iTunes and follow us on social media at empowertomyskin.
::Finally, remember to subscribe so you never miss an episode. See you soon.
