#STS Part 4: You are what you think about | Che Marville
Our guest, Che Marville, is a wellness and mindfulness facilitator who champions empowerment through the practice of positive self-talk. She emphasizes the significance of understanding brain functions and conditioning oneself to think in a limitless, compassionate, and triumphant manner. Despite facing numerous challenges during the COVID-19 pandemic, including personal loss and health issues, Che's spiritual practice in yoga, meditation, and Christianity anchored her resilience. She also discovered the transformative power of weightlifting for women over 50 and launched "The Rise of the Lioness," a coaching program designed to empower midlife women to thrive.
The key takeaways emphasize the transformative power of believing in limitlessness and the impact of visualization in creating one’s reality. By focusing on positive thoughts, visualizing dreams, and affirming one’s beliefs, individuals can transcend perceived limitations and achieve their goals. The conversation addresses the importance of disciplining emotions and training the mind to think positively, which can lead to tangible outcomes. Empowering oneself through compassionate self-talk and acknowledging negative conditioning are crucial for personal growth and resilience. Tailoring affirmations to individual learning styles and consistently practicing self-compassion and truthfulness can cultivate a healthier and more empowered mindset.
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Find Che Marville online:
IG: https://www.instagram.com/chemarville/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/coach-che-marville-she-her-hers-7104a113/
Find us online: https://linktr.ee/nkechinwaforrobinson
Transcript
Great day, amazing human.
Inkechi:Welcome to the Empowered in my Skin podcast, where our mission is to help 1 billion people in this world think in more empowering ways.
Inkechi:Empowered humans empower humans.
Inkechi:So you are in the right spot to become a lead domino for empowerment today.
Inkechi:My name is Inkechi.
Inkechi:I'm not only your host, but I am a vibrant optimist to bring you empowering content.
Inkechi:With each episode, we will be bringing you content, alternating between longer episodes with feature guests and shorter episodes called Empowering Bites, where I'll be joined by my co host, Gabby Mamone.
Inkechi:So if you're ready, let the show begin.
Inkechi:Great day, amazing humans.
Inkechi:Yes, welcome to the next episode of empowered in my skin.
Inkechi:As you know, we are in September and this episode concludes our series on self talk.
Inkechi:And it's going to be just as fire as every other episode has been.
Inkechi:So buckle up because our guest today is has faced immense challenges, especially during Covid-19 COVID pandemic, I'm going to say, including losing her largest client, the sudden passing of her mother, a health scare requiring surgery, and navigating perimenopause, during which she gained an intentionally lost 30 pounds.
Inkechi:Through it all, her spiritual practice in yoga, meditation and christian faith anchored her, helping her not only to overcome these obstacles, but also rebuild a successful company.
Inkechi:She discovered the power of weightlifting woo yes, girl for women over 50, and launched a coaching program, the rise of the lioness, empowering midlife women to thrive.
Inkechi:In today's episode, we are going to explore the theme you are what you think, think about.
Inkechi:And I believe her journey will highlight how positive self talk shapes both personal growth and resilience.
Inkechi:So I trust that you're as excited as I am to, like, know who is this?
Inkechi:Like, who are you looking at if you're watching on YouTube or who are you listening to if you're on another podcast app?
Inkechi:But yes, please join me in a gigantic, massive podcast welcome for Coach.
Inkechi:I'm going to call her coach Shay Marvel.
Shay Marvel:I'm snow.
Shay Marvel:I'm Snowden.
Shay Marvel:Excited to be here.
Shay Marvel:Oh my God.
Shay Marvel:Thank you.
Inkechi:I love it.
Inkechi:I love it.
Inkechi:We recently met and the most interesting thing is, like, I've been curating.
Inkechi:So anyone that knows I'm on this journey this year to really help people with their self talk, right?
Inkechi:Like, the voices in our heads as much as possible.
Inkechi:If we can arrest and own them and like, like, and anchor them to thoughts that help service and drive us forward, that's.
Inkechi:I'm all for that.
Inkechi:And so I.
Inkechi:So this series obviously is about diving into that.
Inkechi:And I just met her recently at an amazing event that was really around women lifting women the most.
Inkechi:Like, some of the most powerful women I know were in.
Inkechi:In that space, and we just.
Shay Marvel:Some of the most powerful women in Canada.
Inkechi:Yeah, let's just say that in Canada, for sure.
Inkechi:And we looked at each other like, I want to know you.
Inkechi:And you're like, I want to know you.
Inkechi:And I'm like, okay, let's like, what are you about?
Inkechi:And she told me, I'm like, oh, my God, I'm doing this episode.
Inkechi:Would you want to?
Inkechi:And she's like, oh, my God, I love.
Inkechi:I would love to talk about that.
Shay Marvel:No, first of all, thank you for having me.
Shay Marvel:I think you are incredibly generous, so beautiful, and I just found you incredibly captivating.
Shay Marvel:So if you like, whatever.
Shay Marvel:Like, even before you spoke to me, I was looking at you going, who is this woman?
Shay Marvel:And this smile and this laugh and this brightness.
Shay Marvel:I just wanted to know you.
Shay Marvel:So I'm so grateful to be on your show.
Inkechi:I love it.
Inkechi:And then the greatest thing is that we are aligned by other amazing humans.
Inkechi:In popped in my inbox from Evangeline, and I was like, wait, I know that.
Shay Marvel:Human Black Mentorship, Inc.
Shay Marvel:I spent Saturday with a group of extraordinary women from all over the world, and I facilitated a workshop about wellness, mindfulness, and, you know, just overall healing.
Shay Marvel:And, you know, I found your topic so exciting because I think a lot of people think that self talk is, like, fake wellness or toxic positivity, and they don't realize that actually, self talk is about how your mind functions.
Shay Marvel:It's about understanding how your brain functions and that you can condition yourself to think in a limitless way, in a higher vibrational way.
Shay Marvel:And most of us, we don't even realize we're conditioned into the negative.
Inkechi:Right?
Inkechi:Right.
Shay Marvel:So we're always thinking, oh, what if this, what if that?
Shay Marvel:You know, I mean, we've evolved out of the savannah and, you know, staving off lions and tigers and trying to survive.
Shay Marvel:And all of that anxiety is in us.
Shay Marvel:So naturally we have fear, and it's passed on through generations and through ancestors.
Shay Marvel:And of course, you know, our ancestors have gone through so many things around the world that it's natural to be more maybe negative in order to protect ourselves.
Shay Marvel:Don't even realize that that could be hurting us.
Shay Marvel:So I think this idea of learning to talk to yourself in a loving way, in a compassionate way, in a triumphant way.
Shay Marvel:Yes.
Inkechi:My God, we haven't even started.
Inkechi:Like, hold on, let me get back into the driver's seat.
Inkechi:Well, this is what we're going there.
Inkechi:But before we do, one of my signature questions that I ask at the beginning of every episode is what has been your most empowering thought that you've had today so far?
Shay Marvel:Oh, wow.
Shay Marvel:That I am limitless.
Shay Marvel:And let me explain what that means.
Shay Marvel:It doesn't mean that there aren't limits in the world that are physical, that there aren't rules and regulations that regulate how you live and who you live with and where you live and all of those things and what you can do.
Shay Marvel:Like, I can't be a brain surgeon.
Shay Marvel:I've never, you know, gone to school, medical school, but.
Shay Marvel:But no one can tell me what to think inside of me.
Shay Marvel:No one can tell me what to believe about myself and how to visualize something different.
Shay Marvel:And I just think that the more you give in to visualizing your dreams and bringing them forward and really spending time thinking about what you believe and what you value and actually trying to see it, the greater you can actually.
Shay Marvel:You know, people like to say the word manifest, but it's more than manifest, actually create.
Shay Marvel:The experience begins first in your mind.
Inkechi:And then becomes reality.
Shay Marvel:And then it becomes reality.
Shay Marvel:Your body and your.
Shay Marvel:And your heart and your actions activate the vision.
Shay Marvel:And once you get into the habit of that, you are able to change your life when you need to.
Shay Marvel:Right?
Shay Marvel:So, yeah, so I.
Shay Marvel:You know, I'm limitless.
Shay Marvel:You're limitless.
Shay Marvel:It's.
Shay Marvel:It's.
Shay Marvel:All of us have limitlessness in us, and I.
Inkechi:And I.
Inkechi:You know what I love about owning that is because there's, like, no comparison.
Inkechi:It is.
Inkechi:I love that you.
Inkechi:You said, I am.
Inkechi:You are, everyone is, right?
Inkechi:And it's.
Inkechi:It's, um.
Inkechi:Some years back when I was, like, trying to amp up my value, I have a vision board that I've left white space on so that I can continue to grow my vision as, you know, my life evolves.
Inkechi:And so I put.
Inkechi:I found $500 billion.
Inkechi:And I remember my room had changed, and so during the pandemic, I'd be on video and people would be like, oh, my God, is that a vision board?
Inkechi:And.
Inkechi:And the truth is, since the pandemic and looking at my vision board, more things on the vision board have manifested.
Inkechi:But be like, what's the $500 billion?
Inkechi:It's like, that's my value.
Inkechi:Because I reckon, like, who and beyond, right?
Inkechi:Who are you?
Inkechi:And so someone one day caught it, and they're like, well, why.
Inkechi:Why you aiming so low?
Inkechi:And I was like, oh.
Shay Marvel:That'S right.
Shay Marvel:That's exactly right.
Shay Marvel:That's why I said that's like the floor, right?
Inkechi:That's the floor.
Inkechi:We negotiate up from there.
Inkechi:Right?
Shay Marvel:Yes.
Inkechi:Anyway, I love that.
Inkechi:So first we're gonna go back to sort of what you started to take off on.
Inkechi:And it's really about the whole concept of you are.
Inkechi:You are what you think about and how the things that you thought manifest in daily because it doesn't like what, as you're saying, like the more you think about your creating, but you can also create in the negative as well.
Inkechi:And so can you talk a little bit more from your experience and expertise?
Shay Marvel:Yes.
Inkechi:How we're constantly manifesting because of the way we're thinking.
Shay Marvel:So just to give you a little background on me, you know, I started off my career as a researcher at the Ontario Science Center.
Shay Marvel:I went on to be the senior advisor for health and wellbeing for University Health Network, which is Toronto general, Princess Margaret, Toronto Western, and then St.
Shay Marvel:Joe's Hamilton healthcare, senior vice president at origin, active living, looking after employees.
Shay Marvel:And my focus has always been about encouraging human beings to be the most.
Shay Marvel:Well, that they can be.
Shay Marvel:And that wellness isn't just about how you look.
Shay Marvel:It's not just about.
Shay Marvel:It's not just the number on the scale.
Shay Marvel:It's about how you feel and whether or not you have an ability to regulate yourself.
Shay Marvel:So, you know, one of the things I talk a lot about is disciplining your.
Shay Marvel:Your emotions.
Shay Marvel:Not that you don't feel your emotions.
Shay Marvel:You allow your emotions to come forward, but you don't always allow them to lead you.
Shay Marvel:And once we start to train people, I'm also a meditation teacher and yoga teacher, and I have been for 20 years.
Shay Marvel:And one of the things you learn in meditation and through the process of mindfulness is about really learning to observe your mind and to observe.
Shay Marvel:What am I thinking?
Shay Marvel:What am I thinking?
Shay Marvel:What am I thinking?
Shay Marvel:Why am I thinking that?
Shay Marvel:Where did that idea come from?
Shay Marvel:And questioning what you think and starting to think, okay, can I input other things into my mind?
Shay Marvel:Can I start filling my mind with ways of changing, of ways of growing, of ways of activating, of ways of creating new ideas?
Shay Marvel:And when you start to think that way, and when you start to cultivate your mind that way and you start to take action, your body and your mind work together.
Shay Marvel:And they say, yeah, I can do this.
Shay Marvel:I'm not afraid of this, or I might be afraid, but I still can.
Shay Marvel:And I think it's really powerful.
Shay Marvel:We totally underestimate what we can do, because we think everything is about what you can see rather than what you can feel and what you can create in your mind.
Inkechi:Whoo.
Inkechi:I love that.
Inkechi:And, you know, it's.
Inkechi:So the first that I thought about is how many times a day do we say the word I am?
Inkechi:And one of the episodes was on positive affirmations.
Inkechi:Right.
Inkechi:Like I am.
Shay Marvel:Yes.
Inkechi:And what typically, what follows it, you tend to become.
Shay Marvel:Right, exactly.
Shay Marvel:And also, what's reinforced from the world around you, because, you know, I am is a very.
Shay Marvel:There's a very famous sort of Sanskrit affirmative.
Shay Marvel:I am that I am that I am.
Shay Marvel:That I am.
Shay Marvel:That I am that I am.
Shay Marvel:It's called Soham.
Shay Marvel:I am that I am.
Shay Marvel:And you.
Shay Marvel:And you.
Shay Marvel:And you say it, and you lift up your chest and you breathe in and you feel the power and the vibration of I am.
Shay Marvel:You don't even have to put anything beyond I am.
Shay Marvel:You just know I am.
Shay Marvel:I'm like the air.
Shay Marvel:I'm like the trees.
Shay Marvel:I'm like the ocean.
Shay Marvel:I am the sky.
Shay Marvel:I'm the ground.
Shay Marvel:I'm you.
Shay Marvel:You are me.
Shay Marvel:We are so much more than what we can see.
Shay Marvel:And when you start to embrace that, the energy starts to lift in you.
Shay Marvel:And we are energy.
Shay Marvel:We like to be very practical, and everything is material, and we are very reductionist, because that's where so many western society and where we come from in terms of our thinking.
Shay Marvel:We only believe what we can see.
Shay Marvel:But one of the powerful things about being a woman is learning to embrace what you cannot see but what you can feel.
Inkechi:Yes.
Inkechi:I love, you know, so, you know how many times I've read, like, listened to an Eckhart tolle or.
Inkechi:Or red or Michael Singer, and they.
Shay Marvel:Talk about Michael Singer, right?
Inkechi:And they talk about the greater I am.
Inkechi:I think, for me, the.
Inkechi:And as much as that visual that you just said, how powerful that is, because it's like, I see, like, to me, if I'm a listener and I haven't really embraced that, I think what some people might fear is that it's not prescriptive if they just said to people, like, I am.
Shay Marvel:Yes, yes, you're right.
Shay Marvel:I mean.
Shay Marvel:I mean.
Shay Marvel:I mean.
Shay Marvel:Well, this is the challenge, right?
Shay Marvel:The challenge is that most people want a prescription before they actually give in to a feeling.
Shay Marvel:So, like, sometimes someone will say, well, I am the CEO.
Shay Marvel:But if you don't feel like you're the CEO inside, if you don't feel it in your body, if you don't know, what are the steps that I do or I take as the chief operating, you know, as the chief executive officer, then guess what?
Shay Marvel:You affirm yourself, but you're affirming yourself in something that is not real.
Shay Marvel:You're affirming yourself in something that you actually don't even understand.
Shay Marvel:It's like when people say, if you're sick or you're going through a health experience, people will say, you know, affirm yourself.
Shay Marvel:That just keep saying, I'm your.
Shay Marvel:I'm well, I'm well, I'm well.
Shay Marvel:But inside you're thinking, I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared.
Shay Marvel:And what the actual affirmation is that actually changes your life is, I'm scared, but I know I can be.
Shay Marvel:Well, I'm scared, but I want to be.
Shay Marvel:Well, I.
Shay Marvel:And how you say it and do you feel it in your body matters?
Shay Marvel: ent through a health scare in: Shay Marvel:No health issues other than, you know, starting to go through perimenopause period, heavier periods.
Shay Marvel:Oh, can I say things like that?
Shay Marvel:Because.
Inkechi:Fibroids, like, it was.
Shay Marvel:No, I'm pretty straightforward.
Shay Marvel:My fibroids, all these things were happening to me, my body.
Shay Marvel:Like, I had turned 49 and my body was starting to go through all these different changes, and I didn't really know what was going on, but as a yoga person and, you know, I knew to listen to my body.
Shay Marvel:And so I went to the doctor, and doctors says, oh, you know, it's totally normal and everything's okay, and, you know, you're just going through changes in your hormones.
Shay Marvel:And I'm like, is there anything we can do about it?
Shay Marvel:No, not really.
Shay Marvel:I'm like, oh, that's not good.
Shay Marvel:And then we had an ultrasound done and discovered that there was a growth on one of my kidneys, although it had nothing to do with the fibroids.
Shay Marvel:And they said, well, we don't know what it is.
Shay Marvel:We don't know what it could be.
Shay Marvel:And I wasn't having any issues with my kidneys ever, so it was a bit scary, obviously.
Shay Marvel:It turned out everything was fine.
Shay Marvel:But the affirmation that I instituted in between discovering the growth and then discovering, remembering that everything was okay was, I'm afraid, but I'm resilient.
Shay Marvel:So what's the important part of this?
Shay Marvel:Telling yourself the truth.
Shay Marvel:You cannot lie to yourself.
Shay Marvel:So, I know my history was 49 years of being a resilient person.
Shay Marvel:Whatever was going to come, I could face it.
Shay Marvel:But I wasn't going to lie to myself.
Shay Marvel:I wasn't going to say that I'm strong.
Shay Marvel:When I'm scared, still be strong and afraid, you know?
Inkechi:And I love this concept that you're really bringing into this series because I don't think we haven't touched on that yet.
Inkechi:It's like, because we've talked about toxic positivity.
Inkechi:I know that I asked.
Inkechi:Doctor, the happiness.
Inkechi:Doctor.
Inkechi:Doctor.
Inkechi:Gillian Amandich.
Inkechi:I asked in her interview.
Inkechi:Yeah.
Inkechi:Is it possible that you can be too, like that?
Inkechi:The self, the positive self talk could be too much or something like that.
Inkechi:But I like, like, I think how I, how I'm unpacking.
Inkechi:What you're sharing is, is really about keeping it real.
Inkechi:Like, whatever it is that you're experiencing in that moment.
Shay Marvel:Yeah.
Inkechi:Plus all of the historic accomplishments or things that, you know, that you've been able to do right.
Inkechi:Together.
Shay Marvel:Yes.
Shay Marvel:Well, well, it's.
Shay Marvel:It's.
Shay Marvel:It's about science.
Shay Marvel:Right.
Shay Marvel:It's about looking at the pattern that has existed in your life and acknowledge it.
Shay Marvel:The pattern is to get up and to try and to survive and to thrive.
Shay Marvel:Now facing something that's unusual.
Shay Marvel:I'm a healthy person.
Shay Marvel:How did this happen?
Shay Marvel:What's going on?
Shay Marvel:Is it cancer?
Shay Marvel:What is it?
Shay Marvel:Right.
Shay Marvel:And acknowledging the fear so that my mind and my body know I'm telling the truth.
Shay Marvel:But I'm also acknowledging something very powerful, which is I'm affirming.
Shay Marvel:I'm affirming that I have an ability to get better and to get strong.
Shay Marvel:And I think one of the things that happens to a lot of people is that they underestimate the value of talking themselves in to feeling better.
Inkechi:Yeah.
Shay Marvel:That there is a higher level that you can go and that you can vibrate on and that you may not feel that in the moment, moment, but.
Shay Marvel:But taking action and talking to yourself the way you would talk to your friend, the way that you would talk to a sister or someone or your brother, someone that you love deeply, you wouldn't say to them, oh, my God, this is a horrible thing that's happening to you.
Shay Marvel:Oh, my God.
Shay Marvel:I don't know what you.
Shay Marvel:I mean, some people would, but most people are going to say, you're going to be okay.
Shay Marvel:You're strong, you know, you're resilient.
Shay Marvel:They're going to remind you of who you are.
Shay Marvel:We have to do the same to ourselves every single day.
Inkechi:I love how you said that there's value in talking yourself into feeling better.
Inkechi:There's value in talking to yourself into feeling better.
Inkechi:That's big.
Shay Marvel:Well, I think people feel bad about not feeling like how they think they should feel.
Shay Marvel:So they're kind of like, I don't feel like I don't get affirmations.
Shay Marvel:Like, I just don't feel it.
Shay Marvel:And then I feel like I'm lying to myself.
Shay Marvel:And it's.
Shay Marvel:Well, in that moment, if you tell yourself you're well when you're not, you are lying to yourself.
Shay Marvel:But if you say, I'm worried or I'm filled with anxiousness.
Shay Marvel:But I also know that I have a long history of resistance.
Shay Marvel:I have a long.
Shay Marvel:I have a pattern of overcoming events and experiences.
Shay Marvel:Both are true.
Inkechi:Right.
Inkechi:I had, right now, like, I'm working through, like, after this appointment, I'm rushing off to Cairo.
Inkechi:And so my affirmation was, I'm not like, I know my body's aching and I'm taking all of the steps that I know to take in order to make myself better.
Inkechi:Right?
Inkechi:Like, and so doing things to make myself better, but I'm.
Inkechi:Yeah.
Shay Marvel:And it might be like my body is hurting, and the value of acknowledging it is that that's actually about.
Shay Marvel:That's a compassionate statement.
Shay Marvel:It's saying, I'm holding space for the pain.
Shay Marvel:And then the second part of the, of the, of the phrase is, but I have a pattern of strength.
Shay Marvel:I have a capability for healing.
Shay Marvel:I'm in the.
Shay Marvel:Or to say, I'm in the process of healing.
Shay Marvel:And again, your mind will say, that's true.
Shay Marvel:Right.
Shay Marvel:You know, like this woman who's a bodybuilder, this is a woman who holds her health at the highest, highest level.
Shay Marvel:So of course, you're engaged in the well being of your physical body.
Shay Marvel:You're not going to let yourself down.
Shay Marvel:You're going to do everything you can to be well.
Shay Marvel:So it's always seeking your truth, seeking, speaking, affirming, visualizing.
Shay Marvel:I mean, that's the other piece, is that sometimes people feel like, I can, I am affirming myself, but I can't see it, know how to see it.
Shay Marvel:And sometimes what that means is you need to spend time trying harder to see it.
Shay Marvel:Before you can see it, sometimes you have to feel it.
Shay Marvel:So I always recommend to my clients and students, you know, actually lie in bed and use the word imagination.
Shay Marvel:Like, say, I'm going to imagine right now what it feels like.
Shay Marvel:What does it feel like to not be in pain, not to have my back hurting?
Shay Marvel:What does it feel like to run as fast as I can?
Shay Marvel:What does it feel like to feel like no headaches?
Shay Marvel:What do I think that feels like?
Shay Marvel:What does it look like?
Shay Marvel:Because here's the thing that's really curious about affirmations.
Shay Marvel:We're all different learners.
Shay Marvel:Like, so, some of us are visual.
Shay Marvel:Some of us are audio learners.
Shay Marvel:Some of us are tactile.
Shay Marvel:And so, like, if you say an affirmation but you're not a visual person or you're not a person who responds to words, it's meaningless to you.
Shay Marvel:But if you say, like, an affirmation and you're, like, you're.
Shay Marvel:You're making a fist and you're trying to be strong, and you're standing up, you know, with your feet, you know, wide apart or hip width apart, and you're taking on a stance of power, it's probably gonna.
Inkechi:It will resonate more.
Shay Marvel:It's gonna resonate, and then you keep practicing it.
Shay Marvel:We don't all learn the same.
Shay Marvel:We don't absorb everything the same.
Shay Marvel:We don't.
Shay Marvel:We don't.
Shay Marvel:We're not always the same throughout our lives.
Shay Marvel:We need different things throughout our lives.
Shay Marvel:We need different affirmations through our lives.
Shay Marvel:You know, we have to be willing to embrace that also.
Inkechi:So is.
Inkechi:Gosh, you know, I just want to make everyone know.
Inkechi:I asked her one question.
Inkechi:Really interesting.
Shay Marvel:I'm sorry.
Shay Marvel:No, no.
Inkechi:I think this is great because you covered so much ground.
Inkechi:There's cover so much ground.
Inkechi:So my.
Inkechi:I'm gonna say.
Inkechi:My parting question, just to make sure we're keeping within the timeframe, is it was.
Inkechi:I want to ask more about negative self talk because you can't stop the negative.
Shay Marvel:Right.
Inkechi:And I think a lot of times, we ignore it.
Inkechi:Yeah, you kind of said something like that at the very beginning.
Inkechi:Go on.
Shay Marvel:I think it's important to be authentic with ourselves and understand that wellness is a process.
Shay Marvel:We are a system.
Shay Marvel:We're not.
Shay Marvel:We're not a box.
Shay Marvel:We're not.
Shay Marvel:We are organic.
Shay Marvel:We are life.
Shay Marvel:We are life.
Shay Marvel:And our life is always evolving, and so we have to be willing to tell ourselves the truth.
Shay Marvel:Maybe today I do feel bad about myself.
Shay Marvel:Maybe today I feel like my stomach is really big.
Shay Marvel:Maybe today I feel less than somebody else.
Shay Marvel:Acknowledge it, but then say, I don't want to be stuck in this space because this isn't a space for liberation.
Shay Marvel:Thinking poorly about myself isn't a space of triumph, isn't a space for empowerment.
Shay Marvel:But when you acknowledge your negative thoughts, I mentioned this word before.
Shay Marvel:It's also showing compassion for yourself.
Shay Marvel:It's about empathy.
Shay Marvel:It's about saying, in this moment, I'm feeling low.
Shay Marvel:In this moment, I don't have the energy to say, oh, I'm so happy.
Shay Marvel:Like, it's not about faking it.
Shay Marvel:You know, that whole idea, fake it till you make it.
Inkechi:I say fake until you make it.
Shay Marvel:But I say faith it till you make it also, but faking it till you make it keeps creating fake things in you.
Shay Marvel:We have to create.
Shay Marvel:We have to create from real, from empathy, from compassion.
Shay Marvel:We have to have it for ourselves.
Shay Marvel:We have to understand that sometimes we think negatively because what's been poured into us has been negative.
Shay Marvel:And then we have to unlearn that negativity, and then we have to affirm.
Shay Marvel:What.
Shay Marvel:What are the words?
Shay Marvel:What's the language of love that I need to hear myself feel well.
Shay Marvel:And then the hard part is practice.
Shay Marvel:Practice every day until one day you start going, wow, you know what?
Shay Marvel:I woke up today, and I really felt good about waking up, because then.
Inkechi:All of a sudden, you're actually in the reality of that affirmation.
Inkechi:Yeah.
Shay Marvel:You're telling the truth.
Shay Marvel:I love that you're telling the truth.
Inkechi:So as a final message.
Shay Marvel:That was fast.
Shay Marvel:Wow.
Inkechi:I know.
Inkechi:I know.
Inkechi:It's 20 going.
Inkechi:25 minutes, girl.
Shay Marvel:Oh, my God.
Inkechi:As the final message, with all the talks that you give, you know, your meditation, your practice, your practice, your clients, you have.
Shay Marvel:Yeah.
Inkechi:Often.
Inkechi:Like, what's the message you love to leave them with?
Inkechi:I love here.
Shay Marvel:It's not just one, but I encourage people to love themselves deeply and to understand that they are a living process and to give yourself space and grace every single day.
Inkechi:And, you know, I'm bringing you back on for a full guest episode because we love that.
Inkechi:We want to know about your life and how, you know, your.
Inkechi:How you've gone to where you're on today in this journey.
Inkechi:But I do.
Inkechi:I thank you for feeding into this series.
Inkechi:It is so important to me, and I.
Inkechi:And I appreciate.
Inkechi:And to all of us at Empire, my skin.
Inkechi:I appreciate you contributing on this platform in such a meaningful way.
Inkechi:And thank you, everyone.
Inkechi:You have gone nuggets today.
Inkechi:I think the best one, I love that one about leaning in and leaning into telling yourself that it's actually okay to get yourself to that level of truth.
Inkechi:So, Shay, you are marvel.
Inkechi:I don't know.
Inkechi:It's so funny.
Inkechi:You're Marvel.
Inkechi:I don't know.
Inkechi:Has anyone told you that?
Inkechi:Shea, you are marvel.
Inkechi:Yeah, probably.
Shay Marvel:I'm lucky.
Shay Marvel:I have a great.
Shay Marvel:I have a great name.
Shay Marvel:Wasn't my choice, but I get to.
Shay Marvel:I get to live it every single day.
Shay Marvel:I love you, and I just believe in you.
Shay Marvel:And I am so grateful for what you're doing in the world.
Inkechi:Likewise, and I look forward to bringing you back on.
Inkechi:Just, just watch for the link.
Inkechi:We're bringing you on for a full episode, okay?
Shay Marvel:Absolutely.
Inkechi:You take care.
Inkechi:And to everyone that's listening, this is where we say we're out.
Inkechi:Bye bye.
Inkechi:There you have it.
Inkechi:I trust you are feeling more empowered in your skin.
Inkechi:As the late doctor Maya Angelou said, when you get, you give.
Inkechi:When you learn, you teach.
Inkechi:So it would mean so much for us at eims if you would share this episode and tag us or teach an insight that you took from today's episode on your socials and tag us.
Inkechi:Feel free to leave us a review over at iTunes and follow us on social mediapowertomysysyskin.
Inkechi:Finally, remember to subscribe so you never miss an episode.
Inkechi:See you soon.
