Tanya Geisler: Trailblazing through doubt and owning your greatness
Tanya Geisler joins Nkechi Nwafor-Robinson for a lively chat that dives deep into the concept of the "Trailblazer Complex," challenging the notion of imposter syndrome. Right off the bat, Tanya explains how feeling like an imposter can actually signal that you’re on the brink of something amazing and new. Together, they unpack how to recognize those pesky inner critics and transform doubts into powerful stepping stones for growth.
With a playful vibe, they share personal anecdotes and practical tips that empower listeners to embrace their unique journeys.
So, grab your favorite drink, kick back, and get ready for an inspiring conversation that invites you to step boldly into your own greatness!
Takeaways:
- The Trailblazer Complex is a new concept that empowers individuals to embrace their doubts as signs of growth and opportunity.
- Identifying and confronting our inner critics can help us navigate feelings of self-doubt and move towards our goals more confidently.
- Building a supportive network is crucial for amplifying our achievements and overcoming challenges in our personal and professional lives.
- Recognizing our small daily wins can be a powerful tool for maintaining motivation and self-belief as we pursue bigger goals.
- Celebrating our successes, no matter how small, is essential for integrating our experiences and fueling future endeavors.
- Understanding our values can transform perceived weaknesses, like perfectionism, into strengths that enhance our leadership capabilities.
If this episode resonates with you, then remember... SUBSCRIBE • 5-Star Rate • COMMENT • SHARE this Podcast!! 💚❤️🙌🏾🙏🏾
Book Recommendation: "Strength in Stillness: the power of transcendental meditation" by Bob Roth
Find Tanya Online:
Website: https://tanyageisler.com/
Find us online: https://linktr.ee/nkechinwaforrobinson
Transcript
Great day, amazing human.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Welcome to Empowered at My Skin podcast where our mission is to help 1 billion people in this world think in more empowering ways.
Speaker A:Empowered humans empower humans.
Speaker A:So you are in the right place to become a lead domino for empowerment today.
Speaker A:My name is Nkechi Mwaho Robinson.
Speaker A:I'm not only your host, but I am a vibrant optimist obsessed to bring you empowering content with every single episode.
Speaker A:We will bring you weekly content, alternating between longer episodes with featured guests and a shorter episode called Empowering Bites, where I will be joined by my co host, Gabby Memone.
Speaker A:So if you're ready, let the show begin.
Speaker A:Great day, amazing humans.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Welcome to the next episode of Empowered in My Skin, the guest and episode.
Speaker A:And for all the YouTubers, you get to see an amazing, wonderful, majestic human that I'm going to get to spend some time and energy with.
Speaker A:And all of you listening are wondering, who is it?
Speaker A:Well, this guest is the coach leaders call when they're ready to conquer doubt, shatter ceilings and step boldly into their greatness.
Speaker A:A sought after TEDx speaker and fearless advocate for trailblazers everywhere, she helps turn impostor feelings into iconic breakthroughs.
Speaker A:Buckle up, really buckle up for a powerful dose of clarity and courage with this amazing guest.
Speaker A:So you know how we do it on this podcast?
Speaker A:Put your hands, your ears, everything together for Gigantic podcast.
Speaker A:Welcome for Tanya Geissler.
Speaker A:Do we have the, like, the, what.
Speaker B:Do they call these, sis?
Speaker B:The jazz hands.
Speaker B:The jazz hands.
Speaker B:I just feel like we, like, need to walk on music right now.
Speaker B:When you say great day, it's like, it is.
Speaker B:It is.
Speaker B:It is an.
Speaker B:That is it.
Speaker B:That's it.
Speaker B:It's a great day.
Speaker A:It's a great day.
Speaker A:It's a great day.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:I have one person, one human in my life that doesn't like when I say it.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:But that's all right.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker A:We work through that.
Speaker A:We work through that.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:Unfortunately, somebody I have to greet quite often, but it's all right.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So, yeah.
Speaker A:So as always, I start the question, I start this interview with an amazing question because I'm always really curious.
Speaker A:What has been your most empowering thought that you've had of the day so far?
Speaker B:Ooh, of the day so far.
Speaker B:Of the day.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:Oh, my goodness, what a great.
Speaker A:This day.
Speaker A:Because we don't often think about, like.
Speaker B:Yeah, how did I.
Speaker A:And empowered to me is like making sure, like, I. I never really explained it for people, but it means that, like, because you felt that way, you know, somebody else benefited yeah, the domino effect.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So I. I've been out a lot this week, and I was carrying.
Speaker B:We've gone to a lot of the tennis.
Speaker B:So right now it's August.
Speaker B:We saw the tennis here at Toronto and then all celebrated Vicky and Bokos.
Speaker B:I know.
Speaker B:Oh, my God.
Speaker A:I don't know even.
Speaker A:No, go Victoria, but go Canada.
Speaker A:Like, it's the first ever.
Speaker B:Oh, my gosh.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Three.
Speaker A:Three Grand Slam winners, right?
Speaker A:Three Grand Slam.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker A:That's incredible.
Speaker B:But Vicky's 18.
Speaker B:Like, it was just.
Speaker B:It was a big, big week in Texas.
Speaker B:Anyway, we've been going a lot, and I had this little, like, festival pack thing that I wear and.
Speaker B:Why is it so heavy?
Speaker B:It's just tiny.
Speaker B:It's this big.
Speaker B:And I was like, I've got my wallet and I've got my.
Speaker B:My sunglasses.
Speaker B:Now I've got my readers because I'm reading age old and.
Speaker B:And I'm, like, carrying my husband's.
Speaker B:And I'm, like, a little bit annoyed that I'm.
Speaker B:That I've got, like, all of this stuff.
Speaker B:And then I actually went into my bag and I started pulling out and I had, like, like fistfuls of makeup.
Speaker B:Fistfuls that I did not know that it was fistfuls of makeup I was pulling out.
Speaker B:And I said to a friend who I happen to be talking.
Speaker B:It is amazing how much stuff we are carrying that we don't realize that we are carrying, you know, And I wanted to make up stories about how I was so annoyed that he doesn't have his own carry.
Speaker B:All my own makeup I didn't even know I had in there.
Speaker B:And so that is a very empowering thought for me to consider.
Speaker B:What else I might be carrying.
Speaker B:I'm not even aware of.
Speaker A:I like how you made that a metaphor.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker A:Because I think it is about life.
Speaker A:Like, if you feel heavy, then you're carrying something that's weighing you down.
Speaker A:Carrying something.
Speaker B:I'm waiting.
Speaker B:Better have a look at it.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So that has been really empowering.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And I know that that was really helpful to.
Speaker B:To the people that I was talking about.
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker A:And it's helpful to.
Speaker A:Helpful to listeners.
Speaker A:I like that.
Speaker A:That actually.
Speaker A:I mean, I like that it was your bag and you can unload it, but.
Speaker A:But sometimes if it's it for the inner work, it takes some time.
Speaker B:It takes some time.
Speaker B:Yeah, it takes some time.
Speaker B:And then you have to make some choices.
Speaker B:Like, okay, actually, I want all this, but I didn't even know that it was there.
Speaker B:Also.
Speaker B:Sometimes we can make choices.
Speaker B:Not always, but sometimes let's make the choices when we can.
Speaker B:So that was an empowering thought today.
Speaker A:So you also just shared that those fab.
Speaker A:By the way, I feel bad for the readers.
Speaker A:You, you're missing her readers.
Speaker A:Readers.
Speaker A:No, listeners.
Speaker A:You're missing her readers.
Speaker A:But are those like prescribed readers?
Speaker A:Okay, those are nice.
Speaker A:I like those.
Speaker A:I was gonna say, cuz I get mine on.
Speaker A:Where are mine?
Speaker A:Mine are.
Speaker A:I, I, I went onto Amazon and I got a whole bunch of like the Oprah kind and the, you know, these are just like one.
Speaker B:Oh, those are cute.
Speaker B:Yeah, I like those.
Speaker B:I like those.
Speaker B:I've got, I've got some hot pink ones going on.
Speaker B:I mean.
Speaker B:Yeah, these are, these are, these are fun ones.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:I mean, right?
Speaker B:You're gonna wear readers.
Speaker B:Might as well have to be fabulous.
Speaker B:Also a powering thought of the day.
Speaker A:Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker A:Fabulous readers.
Speaker A:There we go.
Speaker A:So, but honestly, Amazon has some really great lenses.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker A:So, so we, we kind of talked about this in the, in the B roll.
Speaker A:And Tanya has actually been a guest on the podcast.
Speaker A:She did a, it wasn't empowering bites at the time.
Speaker A:It's like a thriving Thursday with myself and Gabby way back when.
Speaker A:I think it was May 20, 20, 21 or something.
Speaker A:We established.
Speaker A:Anyway, it's been too long.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And, and we just happened to hit up the other day on LinkedIn and when we last met, we talked about the imposter syndrome.
Speaker A:So I actually just shared with her.
Speaker A:We're not going into that now, but I just shared with her my journey and where we are now.
Speaker A:But she talked about this new concept called the Trailblazer complex.
Speaker A:And I was intrigued.
Speaker A:I remember I was intrigued.
Speaker A:I talked to my team and they were like, this is different.
Speaker A:And so we said, we love you.
Speaker A:You coined sounds really powerful.
Speaker A:And so how about we start there?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:So what is it?
Speaker A:And why do you believe it's actually a sign you're, you're right where you need to be?
Speaker A:Because I believe those were your words.
Speaker B:So here's the, here's the thing about the, the Trailblazer complex.
Speaker B:I've been talking about the imposter complex since, well, my whole life didn't know that that's what it had a name.
Speaker B: though, professionally since: Speaker B: I did a TEDx talk in: Speaker B:And you know, I have a deep praxis, I have deep understanding of how it works and how we, how we navigate it.
Speaker B:And I'VE also seen in the last probably five or six years the way that this idea of imposter hood always can feel very reductive.
Speaker B:You know, even though I, when I, when I do a keynote, it's like the first five minutes are qualifying.
Speaker B:Okay, we're gonna talk about monster complex.
Speaker B:Here's some historical context and here I need you to understand how I'm approaching this.
Speaker B:As a white neurotypical able bodied woman of middle class means living in North America and that might not be your lived experience.
Speaker B:And all of that is accurate and important to name.
Speaker B:And it doesn't change the fact that almost every time I have a conversation or do keynote, people will say this is all really, really, really helpful information.
Speaker B:I just, I know that I'm not a, I know that I'm not an imposter, but everybody around me insists that I must be suffering from this thing because I'm doing big audacious moves.
Speaker B:And so for a really long time I've been thinking about what happens when the imposter complex shows up.
Speaker B:And usually it means that we are at the precipice of our expansion, right?
Speaker B:Usually it means that we are on the precipice of doing something that nobody else has done or somebody that hasn't looked, looked like us before.
Speaker B:And I had the opportunity to speak with a group of women in VC in venture last May.
Speaker B:And I mean they're talk about like grim statistics.
Speaker B:12% of decision makers in VCR women, right?
Speaker B:Only 2.4% are founding members.
Speaker B:You know, so them there to talk about this imposter complex and the women are there and they're like, this is going to be really great information.
Speaker B:But I could just feel this dissonance, this, this dissonance.
Speaker B:And in the naming now I also talk a lot about how I don't actually call it imposter syndrome, which my SEO people get super pissed because that's what people are googling.
Speaker B:But I've always called it a complex because I think that the syndrome, the idea of a syndrome, medicalizes it and co ops a medical term, right?
Speaker B:So all of this like I've got all these qualifiers and it keeps, it pushes us away from the goalpost which is to make sure that people are staying in aligned action.
Speaker B:And so I was with this group and I thought, I've been thinking about this long enough, I'm just going to see what happens if I say the idea of the imposter complex, the fact that you are struggling with it even in, even in any way, shape or form is the indicator that you are on the precipice of something new, is the meaning is the indicator that you are struggling with the imposter.
Speaker B:The trailblazer complex.
Speaker B:Pardon me.
Speaker B:So that just shifted.
Speaker B:You know, what if we stopped naming it as this imposter complex language or talking about the imposter hood aspect of it and lean more into the fact that this is just part of the gig.
Speaker B:This is just part of the gig.
Speaker B:This is just part of the deal, because we also have had.
Speaker B:And I don't want to speak for you, but the number of times when you do something that's really big and really audacious and other people will assign this to you, or if you've been in spaces, you will be gaslit with this information.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:You will be told that your doubt has everything to do with your own imposter complex as opposed to more structural conditions that are around you.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So when we think about, though, what we are experiencing as the trailblazer complex, that just gives us a breath, you know?
Speaker B:A breath to consider that, you know, I'm experiencing this again because I'm on the precipice of my expansion.
Speaker B:I'm experiencing this because I'm first out of the gate.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Other people haven't done this.
Speaker B:I'm experiencing this because there's some misunderstood brilliance here.
Speaker B:And now what do I do with it?
Speaker B:You know?
Speaker B:And the tricky.
Speaker B:The tricky part is that it's actually not dissimilar to how we navigate imposter complex.
Speaker B:It's kind of the same.
Speaker B:It's just, we start from a more empowered place, and that makes all the difference.
Speaker A:I love that you said we start from a more empowered place.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:So what are some identifiers that somebody can.
Speaker A:Because when you say we're on the precipice, sometimes people, that almost means like.
Speaker A:Like there is something coming.
Speaker A:You may not know it's already there, but it's like you're edging towards it in some shape or fashion.
Speaker A:So what would be the things that would be real in the space when somebody is actually.
Speaker A:Somebody's actually feeling that, you can say, well, what you're.
Speaker A:What you're walking into is a trailblazer complex.
Speaker A:Is there feelings like that you can explain?
Speaker B:It's the.
Speaker B:It's the.
Speaker B:This is.
Speaker B:This is bigger than anything I've ever done before.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:This is just that moment of, this is a big step.
Speaker B:Am I ready?
Speaker B:Am I prepared?
Speaker B:It's that.
Speaker B:It's that split second before.
Speaker B:I don't.
Speaker B:I know that I Can't do this.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:It's that I. I haven't done this before.
Speaker B:And that by definition means that this is going to be scary.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:It's new territory.
Speaker B:There's this thing.
Speaker B:I started my book proposal with this.
Speaker B:There used to be, in ancient texts, ancient maps, there would be the words, there be dragons beyond what the cartographers understood literally.
Speaker B:Just to be like, just don't go beyond what you can see.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:There be dragons.
Speaker B:And that's like.
Speaker B:The trailblazer is like, okay, I know that there may be dragons over there, and I am not going to stop myself from going off the map.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And, you know, as you.
Speaker B:You had said, I hope it's okay to share this.
Speaker B:You look down the road and you say, like, who's there and who's not there and who needs to be there?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So that's an inflection point.
Speaker B:That's an inflection point.
Speaker B:It's a moment of this hasn't been done before.
Speaker B:I certainly haven't done this before.
Speaker B:Maybe other people have.
Speaker B:I have not done this before.
Speaker B:And that feels big.
Speaker B:And I feel.
Speaker B:And I feel so bad.
Speaker B:I feel it in my body.
Speaker B:I feel the flush.
Speaker B:But instead of going straight to.
Speaker B:I'm not the person to do this.
Speaker B:Sit inside the.
Speaker B:What if I am the person to do this?
Speaker B:And trusting in that calling.
Speaker B:That's tough.
Speaker B:It's all tough.
Speaker B:It's all really, really tough.
Speaker B:But that's how.
Speaker B:That's the very part, right.
Speaker B:You like your.
Speaker B:Your first out of the gate.
Speaker A:So for someone who has sort of been studying this, talks about it, coaches others about it, you know where I'm going and so passionate about it.
Speaker A:Tanya, does this still get you every day?
Speaker B:Oh.
Speaker B:Oh, my.
Speaker B:Oh, my gosh.
Speaker B:I just told you we're gonna.
Speaker B:My book, you know.
Speaker B:Oh, my gosh.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:Every time.
Speaker B:But this is how I know that I'm on the right track.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:I'm on the right path.
Speaker B:Now your brain is going to tell you.
Speaker B:So I talk you to one of the ways.
Speaker B:And again, I would have said the same thing about imposter complex, too.
Speaker B:One of the things we need to do is when we say, okay, but can I.
Speaker B:Like, I've never done this before.
Speaker B:Can I do this and catch you?
Speaker B:I know that you've done this infinite number of times in your life where you've said, okay, I've not done this before, but what else have I done?
Speaker B:What are all the things that I have done?
Speaker B:What have I done?
Speaker A:View of life.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:When else have I felt like this.
Speaker B:And I look at that really systematically and say, okay, the first time you were handed a baby, you don't know what you were doing.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:The first time you were asked to lead a team, you don't know what you're doing.
Speaker B:The first time you were handed the mic, you did not know what you were doing because you had not done it before.
Speaker B:So if we stack up all the evidence that shows might not have done those things, but we've done other things and we jumped and discovered that the party was on the other side of the resistance.
Speaker B:And if we can see stack up enough of these moments that it's like, sure, I didn't know what I was doing and I figured it out.
Speaker B:I didn't know what I was doing and I figured it out.
Speaker B:Because there is no such thing as perfectly ready for anything.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And if I can, if I can encourage women, especially whether you have a gratitude journal or some type, like you need an accomplishment journal.
Speaker A:And sometimes I think we think accomplishments need to be really, really big.
Speaker A:So I use my gratitudes to say, I'm grateful that I did this today.
Speaker A:I'm grateful that I met somebody that I hadn't met before.
Speaker A:Like, these are all accomplishments, right?
Speaker A:Accomplishments aren't only those big, because I think, I think, I think before you get to anything big, a whole bunch of small led up to it.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Yeah, I think there's something absolutely.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:One of the.
Speaker B:Oh, gosh, I could talk about this all day long, too.
Speaker B:I talk about having every, every single morning.
Speaker B:First of all, I do 108 gratitudes before I get out of bed.
Speaker B:Every single morning.
Speaker A:In your head?
Speaker B:No.
Speaker B:Well, yeah, in my head, I count them out of my fingers before I get out of bed.
Speaker B:Yeah, it's, it's, it's.
Speaker B:And when I don't trust me, I feel it.
Speaker B:Get us.
Speaker B:Get us to.
Speaker A:Get us to 20.
Speaker A:Go.
Speaker B:Get us 20 right now.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Husband.
Speaker B:Daughter.
Speaker B:Moondeck.
Speaker B:Cat.
Speaker B:Cat.
Speaker B:Cat.
Speaker B:Mark.
Speaker B:My.
Speaker B:My book agent.
Speaker B:The signed, signed speakers bureau contract.
Speaker B:The website that's coming along.
Speaker B:Jen, Amanda Am.
Speaker B:My daughter's promotion.
Speaker B:This conversation today.
Speaker B:The peach cobbler that's in the oven.
Speaker B:The clean water.
Speaker B:My garden that is coming back after being so decimated.
Speaker B:My in laws, good health.
Speaker B:The cottage that we're going to get to go up to next week.
Speaker B:The good people that are working really, really hard for all the things we need to work to with the money that I have in the bank that I'm going to be donating this weekend to World Kitchen, the food the food in my fridge, the party we're going to hold host tonight, the tennis that my body's going to let me play tomorrow.
Speaker B:Vicky and Boco, like, all day.
Speaker A:All day.
Speaker B:Every morning.
Speaker B:Every morning, Every morning, Every morning.
Speaker B:And then if I start feeling like, oh, it feels a little stale, I start again.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:But here's what I wanted to say, too.
Speaker B:This is my.
Speaker B:I mean, I have all the systems.
Speaker B:I got notion boards, I got this, I got that.
Speaker B:I still work every single day.
Speaker B:I got my little sticky note.
Speaker B:What am I.
Speaker B:What are my priorities?
Speaker B:And here are my wins every day.
Speaker B:Because at what point do you do.
Speaker A:That in the day?
Speaker B:Just throughout the day.
Speaker A:Oh, throughout the day.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So like Mark and tennis and you.
Speaker B:And I got my workout in, like, so all of those little wins.
Speaker B:Because when we talk about gratitude, it can feel too much.
Speaker B:And when we talk about celebration, which is actually one of the steps in my framework, it can feel like too much because.
Speaker B:Because we're constantly moving our own goalposts.
Speaker B:I often say that the ego wants to want more than it wants to get, so it's much more interested in the wanting than the getting.
Speaker B:So once we get to the thing, you know what this is like, right?
Speaker B:I did this thing, but I could have done it faster, I could have done it better, I could have done it smarter.
Speaker B:Like, what took me so long?
Speaker B:So we don't actually allow ourselves, if we're not being aware of it, to really celebrate and integrate the hard work.
Speaker B:So wins as an ongoing practice.
Speaker B:I think it's the trailblazer.
Speaker B:Busting a complex, busting moose.
Speaker A:Yeah, I love it.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And the more that you remember them, the easier they just come and rattle off, you know?
Speaker A:So I do have a question, because I do believe doubt plays it like.
Speaker A:Like is we.
Speaker A:There are people that are.
Speaker A:How do I say?
Speaker A:There are people that are trailblazers that experience doubt.
Speaker A:There's like those brilliant minds.
Speaker A:They experience down.
Speaker A:There's people that.
Speaker A:Doubt holds them back.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So, but is it.
Speaker A:It's the same doubt, isn't it?
Speaker B:It's the same doubt.
Speaker B:It's like, what do you got in your bag?
Speaker B:So looking at.
Speaker B:Looking at all the things that are in your bag, pulling those things out of your bag.
Speaker B:Because some people choose to believe their death, not everybody is that.
Speaker A:Is that really the difference between those that are brilliant?
Speaker A:So why does brilliance and doubt go.
Speaker A:So no one's absent of doubt?
Speaker A:I think we're.
Speaker A:I think I'm answering my own question, but it just so seems that Anytime you ask somebody that's really brilliant, no matter how many proof points they have, no matter how many wins they write down, it's still like, it's still there.
Speaker A:Still there.
Speaker B:It's still there.
Speaker B:It can be.
Speaker B:I mean, it can be.
Speaker B:Okay, so.
Speaker B:So you might be talking about some people who are perfectionists.
Speaker B:That's actually not a thing that I have.
Speaker B:I don't have a lot of perfectionism.
Speaker B:So I actually, or I've, or I've worked through it.
Speaker B:So I think it's important to say that because.
Speaker B:Trailblazer complex.
Speaker B:You know, it's.
Speaker B:There's still this way in which we, we don't like this feeling, right?
Speaker B:We don't like, or even if you want to say, think of it as still imposter complex, we don't want to feel not capable.
Speaker B:So we're going to avoid that by being a perfectionist, by procrastinating, by diminishing people, pleasing, you know, leaky boundaries, comparison.
Speaker B:These are all ways that we can avoid this feeling of whether you call it imposter hood or just can't do it or doubt, right?
Speaker B:So these are the ways that we're going to potentially hide out because it feels lousy.
Speaker B:And so some people, they might be perfectionists.
Speaker B:I deal with a lot of work with a lot of folks who are perfectionists.
Speaker B:So I think that one of the things to do is to do a little bit of a trickster move and say, okay, if you tend to be a perfectionist, what is the value that, that perfectionism is honoring on your behalf?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Guess what is excellent?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah, it's excellent.
Speaker A:Oh, it's excellent.
Speaker A:I see.
Speaker B:Yeah, you value excellence.
Speaker B:That is a good thing, right?
Speaker B:If you tend to be a people pleaser, that just means that you value inclusivity.
Speaker B:Okay?
Speaker A:You're trying to frame it into like, take it out of a label and actually give it some meaning, give it.
Speaker B:The golden shadow that it so richly deserves.
Speaker B:Now, again, to your point, okay, so I can value excellence, and that means that I'm going to stay in this place of not, you know, it's never going to be ready.
Speaker B:And then I take it one step further and say, okay, who else values excellence in the same way?
Speaker B:Okay, Then we need to look at a different identity.
Speaker B:So I call these iconic identities, and I have this quiz.
Speaker B:So you tend to be not, say you, but the person listening, they tend to be a perfectionist.
Speaker B:Okay, fine.
Speaker B:That means that they value excellence.
Speaker B:Fantastic.
Speaker B:Probably makes them a really fantastic leader.
Speaker B:And we love that about them.
Speaker B:Who else really values.
Speaker B:CEOs would value excellence and, and be perfectionist.
Speaker B:Now, we all have visions of CEOs in our minds that maybe are not ideal.
Speaker B:But if we think about the most idealized version of ourself, then we know if I am running the organization to end all organizations like the one that I want, I know that I would need to fail fast.
Speaker B:I know that I would need to iterate.
Speaker B:I know that imperfections are just places where innovation comes to life.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So it's about sometimes taking ourselves out of our own experience and then transferring it into something different.
Speaker B:So let me say people pleasing, that does tend to be my issue.
Speaker B:That does tend to keep me out of action from time to time.
Speaker B:It does tend to keep me from, from doing some of the things I want to do.
Speaker B:But if I remember that my value inside of perfection and people pleasing.
Speaker B:Pardon, is that of inclusivity, that means that I'm a really beautiful host.
Speaker B:That means that I can.
Speaker B:If as long as I'm gathering people and inviting conversation, making peach cobbler, you know, like, I am at my best when I'm gathering people, when I'm in conversations, when I'm hearing from lots of people, that is a good thing and that keeps me in action.
Speaker B:So I think it's helpful to play with different identities that actually honor the golden shadow that sits under the thing that seems to be in your way.
Speaker A:You know, And I love what you're saying about this.
Speaker A:And the reason why is because I've been so much doing it for myself as well.
Speaker A:Like really trying to like, give, like give language to something versus, like a label.
Speaker A:Like, for example, I'm like, how many people just say I'm an introvert or I'm an extrovert?
Speaker A:And I'm thinking, like, I've seen some introverts that look very extroverted when they're around certain people and they, and they take no time to really say, well, when I'm, when I'm in the presence of.
Speaker A:I find that my personality then.
Speaker A:And, and then when I'm in another situation, then my.
Speaker A:And it gives you a little bit more like what you just described, I feel gives you more room.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:To move and express yourself.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Because I honestly think that sometimes these words, these labels are again, the things that are like, that are taking up space in your proverbial metaphorical B.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:But when we pull them out and go like, okay, well, I don't actually need all of these all the time for where I'm going.
Speaker B:I'm Just gonna need some lip gloss and I'm gonna need some mascara, whatever it is.
Speaker B:But like I can be much more devotional but as opposed to just carrying all these things and identities that are weighing me down all the time.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:I love what you just shared about people pleasing like that is so relatable for many, I'm sure.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker B:I'm so happy because again, it's like we need to find our own way through.
Speaker B:And I think, you know, and I also think we talk about perfectionism, we talk about people pleasing, we talk about all these things like they're really terrible.
Speaker B:And it's a.
Speaker B:The self development Space is a 44 billion dollar industry.
Speaker B:Did you know that?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:No, I didn't know that.
Speaker B:A lot of money invested in making people feel really crappy about themselves all the time.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker A:Sorry.
Speaker A:It's the self development.
Speaker B:The self development Space is supporting $4 billion.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So it's mostly make people feel good about themselves.
Speaker B:No, it is, but it's like, but you, you got a problem we need to fix you.
Speaker A:Okay, I see what you mean.
Speaker A:So you're making me feel shitty first and then yeah, you come to me.
Speaker B:You, you got a big problem.
Speaker B:You're a perfectionist.
Speaker B:Okay, here, here's my twenty thousand dollar program.
Speaker B:That's gonna help.
Speaker B:Here's another thought.
Speaker B:How about yes, you value excellence.
Speaker B:So how are we going to make sure that you value excellence and continue to stay in action?
Speaker B:Know that's that to me is that's what this is about.
Speaker B:Because I now think that's part of the reason so many people have bristled with like imposter complex language or imposter syndrome language.
Speaker B:Like do not tell me that I'm an imposter.
Speaker B:I like trailblazer.
Speaker B:There are some things that I would like to tweak and get a little more congruent about.
Speaker B:But no, nothing to fix here, friends.
Speaker A:It's funny, I remember years ago, I don't know if I'm going to get this right, but I think Simon Sinek went said that touching on the 44 billion dollar industry.
Speaker A:He once said that in any bookstore, whatever you go, you always have a self development section.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:No self help section.
Speaker A:But you don't have a helping other section.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:And I think what you just.
Speaker A:I think that's helping others.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know.
Speaker B:Interesting.
Speaker B:Oh my God.
Speaker B:So interesting.
Speaker B:Yeah, right.
Speaker B:You're to blame.
Speaker B:There's something wrong.
Speaker A:Yes, right, yeah.
Speaker B:So what's like, so what's your way?
Speaker B:What's your Way forward.
Speaker B:And I think that there's so much.
Speaker B:Anyway, there's so much more.
Speaker A:Yeah, right, right, right.
Speaker B:And so you.
Speaker B:Nobody's going to tell us that.
Speaker A:So you touched a bit on a framework.
Speaker A:And so I know you have created the iconic framework, which I love the word iconic, by the way, and to help leaders step into their power.
Speaker A:So can you walk us through what that looks like in practice?
Speaker B:Y. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:So again, it's.
Speaker B:I mean, I love a good wordplay.
Speaker B:I mean, I came up with iconic a lot of years ago because I love, you know, the idea.
Speaker A:Oh, does it stand for something?
Speaker A:It stands for something.
Speaker B:Yes, of course it does.
Speaker A:Yes, I do.
Speaker B:I mean, every single person that's here, that's listening here, watching here, you know, we know that we are in the presence of an icon.
Speaker B:You are an icon.
Speaker B:And so the idea of being iconic, I mean, it triggers a whole bunch of stuff, including the imposter complex, which is ic.
Speaker B:You can't spell iconic without IC twice, meaning the moment somebody says, baby, you are iconic.
Speaker B:It's like this moment of like.
Speaker B:Some people have this moment of like, who me?
Speaker B:And then if you've been in a role for a certain period of time and you're like ready to move on to the next, you're gonna have it on the back end too.
Speaker B:So it gets you coming and going.
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:But it's also.
Speaker B:I forget, I've like completely lost.
Speaker B:Is it an anagram when it.
Speaker A:When it's spelled both way backwards words?
Speaker B:Oh, no, that's.
Speaker A:No, that's anagram, isn't it?
Speaker B:Oh, gosh.
Speaker B:Okay, so I C O N I C I is for identity.
Speaker B:So this is where, you know, seeing yourself as the person capable of blazing that trail, that's the first thing.
Speaker B:Like, you gotta get there.
Speaker B:You gotta be able to see yourself as the person capable of doing the thing.
Speaker B:C is you gotta confront the critics.
Speaker B:There are going to be critics.
Speaker B:There will be.
Speaker B:There be dragons.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Those critics, some of them are going to be external.
Speaker A:I have to get my pen.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker A:Why am I not on my pen?
Speaker B:Okay, yeah, so I.
Speaker B:This is where, you know, again, like seeing yourself as the person.
Speaker B:And honestly, maybe it's CEO for you, maybe it's host.
Speaker B:Like, okay, I gotta figure.
Speaker B:Listen, I'll tell you this right now.
Speaker B:When I was.
Speaker B:When I started working on my book proposal, I was like, okay, I gotta think like a writer.
Speaker B:Gotta think like a writer.
Speaker B:Frankly, that was disempowering.
Speaker B:When I was working on my.
Speaker B:Yeah, I was totally Disempowering.
Speaker B:I mean, I'd written.
Speaker B:The book's been written 15,000 different times.
Speaker B:But I was working on the marketing part of the.
Speaker B:The book, and I realized, okay, so I've been thinking like a writer.
Speaker B:Now if I think about, like a marketer, can I market this book?
Speaker B:And I was like, yeah, I can do that.
Speaker B:But what if I think about this as a host?
Speaker A:I thought you're gonna say reader.
Speaker A:Okay, A host reader.
Speaker B:Yeah, of course.
Speaker B:Yeah, the reader.
Speaker B:I write every.
Speaker B:Like, pretty much everything.
Speaker B:But if I think about this, the marketing part of my book proposal as the host, ah, I can do that.
Speaker B:I can host a party.
Speaker B:I can create an iconic tonic signature cocktail.
Speaker B:I can gather people.
Speaker B:I can do like.
Speaker B:Like, all of a sudden the.
Speaker B:Just like that part just wrote itself.
Speaker B:Because that's the thing.
Speaker B:I'm really good at gathering people, getting people excited about an idea, getting people excited about a movement.
Speaker B:So get.
Speaker B:Tapping into whatever that identity is to do the thing is going to be important.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:See critics confronting the critics.
Speaker B:So again, some of those critics are going to be actual people who are critics of your action.
Speaker B:That's just true.
Speaker B:Some of the critics are going to be realistic objections that you need to navig.
Speaker B:I want to do this thing, but there's this massive block.
Speaker B:I got to figure that out.
Speaker B:And some of the critics are going to be internal.
Speaker A:I was just like the inner critic, right?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So we have to figure out what's actually in the way.
Speaker B:Literally in the way.
Speaker B:How much is ours, how much is theirs, how much, you know.
Speaker B:And navigating O is for optimized.
Speaker B:This is kind of what we were talking about earlier.
Speaker B:Remembering all the times that you have done the audacious big thing that did not have the path.
Speaker B:And if you're having a hard time with that, start with the daily wind.
Speaker B:Tracking N is network.
Speaker B:Make sure that you are surrounded by the people who can amplify and uplift and uphold you.
Speaker B:And dare to believe them when they tell you how remarkable you truly are.
Speaker B:This network part is no joke, you know, I don't care who you are.
Speaker B:It is.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:It's some tricky stuff to be able to trust into other people.
Speaker B:And that's the work.
Speaker B:As I know you know better than anybody, I is unsexy implement.
Speaker B:It is just do the work, do the work, do the work to the work.
Speaker B:And then C is for celebrate.
Speaker B:Because we cannot.
Speaker B:We can't move on to the next.
Speaker B:And that's what trailblazers are all about, right?
Speaker B:Like, let's get here and then let's move on to the next.
Speaker B:Let's move on to the next.
Speaker B:Like, what's the next vista that I can create for myself and for everybody who wants to come behind me?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Or.
Speaker B:Or to inspire other people who are at their own precipice of their expansion.
Speaker B:But we got to celebrate to be able to integrate all the hard work so we can do it again.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:Wow, I love that.
Speaker A:So I identity.
Speaker A:C is confronting the critics or critics.
Speaker A:O's optimize, N is network, eyes implement, and C is celebrate.
Speaker A:Iconic.
Speaker A:Iconic.
Speaker A:I love it.
Speaker A:I love it.
Speaker B:And if you think about any time that you've done something iconic, you did this, you had to see yourself as the person capable of that.
Speaker B:You had to like, get real with what was actually in the way.
Speaker B:You had to remind yourself all that you've already done to get to this extraordinary place.
Speaker B:You probably phoned a friend, right?
Speaker B:And then you just did the damn thing.
Speaker B:Yeah, you celebrate.
Speaker A:So to the person that is listening to this before we go to rapid thrivers, to the person that's listening to this.
Speaker A:And as they went through that, I think the one that got me the most was confronting the critics, but more importantly, the inner critics, critic.
Speaker A:So to that person is battling with the inner critic what is one small, tangible, powerful step today.
Speaker A:Today, as they're listening to this, that they can take to own, really just own their iconic.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So the thing that just came through is making sure that when they are telling themselves all the reasons that they can't do the thing to take one of those disempowering beliefs or one of those internal critic ideas, and we know it's an inner critic because it's not interested in resolving anything.
Speaker B:Like a realistic objection is like, if you kind of have a logistical workaround, you'll get this figured out.
Speaker B:But the inner critic is like, yeah, you're never gonna do it.
Speaker B:It's like very contracting.
Speaker B:Pull one of those out, listen for what it's actually saying, give it voice, journal about it.
Speaker B:And then I treat it like a tantrumy toddler.
Speaker B:You know, we know that you cannot yell a tantrum, a toddler.
Speaker B:You got to get calm.
Speaker B:You gotta.
Speaker B:You gotta listen to it.
Speaker B:You gotta say, what are you actually afraid of?
Speaker B:And if you, if you do that journal exercise, it's like, what.
Speaker B:What's really going on?
Speaker B:I'm afraid of this.
Speaker B:I'm afraid of this.
Speaker B:I'm afraid of this.
Speaker B:Let it.
Speaker B:Let it rant.
Speaker B:And then at the base of It.
Speaker B:You'll probably hear something like, I'm afraid we will lose it.
Speaker B:All that fear is a.
Speaker B:Is.
Speaker B:Is sacred.
Speaker B:And so I think that where we just kind of go, like, just get over it.
Speaker B:We have to address that.
Speaker B:We have to go, oh, you're afraid of.
Speaker B:That we're going to lose connection with people.
Speaker B:We were afraid that we're going to.
Speaker B:I'm not going to let that happen.
Speaker B:It's okay.
Speaker B:Like, if I take this.
Speaker B:This speaking opportunity and I get really successful, we're not gonna.
Speaker B:We're not gonna forget our people.
Speaker B:We are going to continue to love them and be there with them.
Speaker B:So I would just get.
Speaker B:I would allow it to be a tantrum y toddler, and I.
Speaker B:And I would just give it voice so that you can pull out that one value that it might be holding.
Speaker B:And usually it's connection.
Speaker B:Usually it's safety.
Speaker B:It's something.
Speaker B:And that's worth honoring.
Speaker B:So if you can again pull that out and then just hold it and then remind it.
Speaker B:Oh, I got this.
Speaker B:Like, I got this.
Speaker B:It's quite magical.
Speaker B:Cool.
Speaker A:It's actually that just really helped me in the moment, so thank you.
Speaker B:I'm so happy to hear that.
Speaker B:So happy to hear that.
Speaker A:So rapid.
Speaker A:Th.
Speaker A:Thrivers.
Speaker A:When you think of somebody who come.
Speaker B:Who.
Speaker A:When you think of someone who empowers you, who comes first to mind?
Speaker B:My mama.
Speaker B:My mama.
Speaker B:My mama.
Speaker B:She passed lots of years ago, but I still.
Speaker B:She says her mantra was, don't postpone joy.
Speaker B:And that is every single day.
Speaker B:Every single day.
Speaker B:I think about that.
Speaker B:Every single day.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Every single day.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker A:Thank you, mama.
Speaker B:Oh, this is her ring.
Speaker B:I'm wearing her ring, so I often do.
Speaker B:Yeah, I love it.
Speaker B:It's very shiny right now.
Speaker A:Beautiful.
Speaker B:Thanks.
Speaker A:What is a daily activity that helps you with your thrive?
Speaker B:108 gratitudes.
Speaker B:We already covered that.
Speaker B:Next.
Speaker A:That's crazy.
Speaker A:What is a book that has helped you with your thrive?
Speaker B:Oh, I am right now.
Speaker B:Oh, I put it away.
Speaker B:I've put it away.
Speaker B:I'm.
Speaker B:I'm reading some Buddhist texts, right?
Speaker B:And so I've forgotten the name of one.
Speaker B:Sometimes they're very long text names.
Speaker B:I'll share with you in a moment because I had this.
Speaker B:I realized lately that I've been fretting a lot more than I ever have, and I'm like, I.
Speaker A:So you're trying to get to the Zen.
Speaker A:Okay, Zen up.
Speaker B:I'm not here yet.
Speaker A:Zen up.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:What is an app that helps you with your thrive?
Speaker B:Calm.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:Calm app helps me with my thrive.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Apparently it's all about.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And what is one misconception that people have of you as they see you speaking on stages, doing your thing?
Speaker B:Yeah, it's, it's, it's one of two things.
Speaker B:Sometimes people approach me, they read my stuff and they're like, I didn't know that you were like, when they meet me, like, I didn't know you were so light.
Speaker B:I just thought you were like, heavy.
Speaker B:Like, you know, like deep thinking heavy.
Speaker B:And then other people will meet me and they're like, wow, you're so, you're so, so bulliant.
Speaker B:I did not know that you were actually really deep.
Speaker B:So I think that I tend to toggle this sort of, you know, this aspect and I just like, yeah, I'm.
Speaker B:I'm a Libra.
Speaker B:I got it.
Speaker A:I'm all of it.
Speaker A:I'm all of it.
Speaker A:Yeah, I'm all of it.
Speaker A:I love it.
Speaker A:So where do we find more of you online?
Speaker B:Tanya geisler.com is my site and I'm at Tanya Geisler pretty much everywhere.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:And I will, I'll update, I'll share your links in the, the.
Speaker A:In the bio, in the show notes, and as a parting question, please finish this sentence for us.
Speaker A:I am empowered in my skin.
Speaker B:When I'm empowered in my skin, when I'm understanding and compassionate with myself and the person that I'm with.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Oh, well, then I feel very empowered as well.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker A:Yeah, thank you.
Speaker A:I'm so happy that we are so still connected, man.
Speaker A:We're gonna have to do the in person something.
Speaker B:I love it.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And actually, I think we'll talk a little bit in the B roll, but yes.
Speaker A:Thank you so much today for reaching out.
Speaker A:Thank you so much for agreeing to say yes and for.
Speaker A:Yeah, Green.
Speaker A:No, for saying yes.
Speaker A:For green.
Speaker A:To say yes.
Speaker A:For saying yes.
Speaker A:It's like, say yes.
Speaker A:And you're like, okay, I agree.
Speaker A:I'm gonna say yes.
Speaker A:No, for saying.
Speaker A:For saying yes.
Speaker A:And to all the listeners, I trust that you're feeling more empowered in your skin, but sadly, this is where I have to say, we're out.
Speaker B:Bye.
Speaker B:Bye.
Speaker A:There you have it.
Speaker A:I trust that you are feeling more empowered in your skin.
Speaker A:As the late Dr. Maya Angelou said, when you get, you give, when you learn, you teach.
Speaker A:So it would mean so much for us at Empowered on My Skin, Inc.
Speaker A:If you share this episode and tag us or teach an insight that you took from today's episode on your social and tag us, feel free to leave us a review over at itunes and follow us on social media.
Speaker A:Powered in My skin.
Speaker A:Finally, remember to subscribe so you never miss an episode.
